bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: cup of tea on a laptop (girlyb_icons) (tea and laptop (girlyb_icons))
1. My mother has been telling everyone she knows -- which includes a bunch of university professors, since her restaurant is right across from the university -- that I'm going to Emory this fall, which keeps getting a reaction of "wow! that's such a good school! I can't believe someone who graduated from EHS got into a school that good!"

That's not as flattering as it sounds on the surface, not least of all because I graduated from high school nine years ago and getting into a PhD program has zip to do with graduating from high school, since I also have a BA and two MAs. (Which, admittedly, I would not have gotten without graduating from high school, but it's not like any PhD apps required my HS diploma or transcript.) Also, like -- I'm aware that even by American standards my high school was not great, and definitely not on par with those of a lot of people I went to college with, especially since I went to an expensive private university. And my degree is in classics, the most classist and elite of all academic fields. So it feels really weird to be getting complimented on essentially rising above my rural roots. Which are not even that rural: this is a university town. (I mean, the main industry in town besides the university is the hay industry, so it is also pretty damn rural, but.)

2. Post-SWCO (and I had this same thought prior to SWCE, because the Star Wars fandom is big on this, not to mention my ex is a professional costumier), I've determined I want to get into cosplay, which means I need to do things like learn to sew. I know enough to do basic repairs, but that's about it. I figure I should work on that before I move, since my mother has a sewing machine. Sewing, and then all the other stuff, because Star Wars being Star Wars is...a lot. Also because I'm still not over my ex I am this point determined to beat her at her own game even though I'm pretty sure she doesn't care about me anymore.

2a. As I result I've been digging through various Star Wars costuming forums, which are intense because the 501st and the Rebel Legion are pretty hard core, and the lightsaber construction and modification forums, which are even more off-putting because that's the most male-dominated corner of the SW fandom I've ever stumbled over.

2b. I really hope that by the next Celebration I'm not still fucked up over my ex, but it's TWO YEARS away so...hopefully not.

2c. Three separate people at SWCO, upon hearing I'm moving to Atlanta, told me that I need to go to Dragon Con. Which, hey, at least I know my ex won't be there.

3. I'm very excited about new Prison Break on the air, so I've been rewatching S1-4, which I originally saw back when I was in college -- I pretty vividly remember watching it back on Megavideo over my first Thanksgiving break, when I didn't go home and also didn't leave my dorm, because I was eighteen and freaked out by being a human being out in the world. I think I watched the bulk of it a few years later, on Netflix or Hulu -- I think Netflix -- when I was taking summer classes at CWU, using it as background noise while I studied. I'm not sure I ever finished S4.

3a. Twenty-two 45-minute episodes a season is excessive, and I think about this every time I watch normal-length shows. I'm used to 22-minute episodes and relatively concise storytelling; after Prison Break drags a subplot out over five 45-minute episodes I end up yelping, "Rebels or TCW could have covered this in seventeen minutes with time left over!" at my computer screen. (Admittedly they're different kinds of television storytelling, but they're not that different.)

3b. The least believable part of S1 and S2 is that America elected an unmarried female politician to vice president in the year 2000-whatever. I am very cynical in the present political climate.

4. Aside from the costuming forums, I've been on a teensy bit of a Star Wars break over the past week because I ended up a little Star Warsed out after Celebration. I think this happened with SWCE too, but after SWCE I was pretty much going insane since I was moving cross-country, and also...the incident with my ex that I had no idea how to process. So I had other things on my mind.

4a. I am going to take a break from the Prison Break rewatch as soon as I finish S2 and go back to Star Wars, but any time I take a break like that from SW I tend to get antsy.

5. I am going back to New Orleans next month for commencement, but I am starting to get antsy about the university maybe not like...knowing I am graduating. (I have already graduated, it's just the commencement ceremonies coming up.) But aside from the "order your cap and gown" e-mails I haven't gotten any info from the university, so I don't know if I'm supposed to do something or just wait. There aren't as many ceremonies for MA grads as for undergrads or the law school, med school, etc. So that's something I'm worried about right now.
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
1. I went to Star Wars Celebration Orlando last week, which was -- pretty much a wash in some ways; it wasn't as transcendent an experience as SWCE was last year, mostly because of the feeling of CONSTANT VIGILANCE I couldn't shake due to my extreme fear of running into my ex. Which sort of overrode every other feeling I had about the experience, except annoyance since SWCO also wasn't as organized as SWCE and I kept missing things. Florida Man Organizes Star Wars Convention.

Read more... )

Perhaps the real lesson from this con is "if you think there's a pretty good chance you're going to have a panic attack on the con floor, have at least one person there who knows why you're upset and afraid." Which I didn't this time; the person I was rooming with knew X and I weren't on speaking terms anymore, but not why.

2. Anyway here is my mostly positive summary of my SWCO experience, with pictures. I did enjoy myself; it's just that any time I look back at something I tend to be in "everything is a disaster" mode for weeks afterwards.

2a. Which also makes me feel like I shouldn't talk about my feelings, since my ex told me last year that then I ruin everyone else's experiences too.

3. This was my first time in Florida, and man, is it like Louisiana in climate -- I have really, really missed humidity, because the dryness in Washington is bad for my skin and it's a lot easier to deal with my hair in humidity. I have also missed being warm. I'm back in Washington now and back in a wool sweater, and I really feel like I did not properly appreciate tank top weather while I was in Florida, due to the fact I was only there for the four days of Celebration, and not for an extra day or so on either side to do actual tourist stuff.

4. Hopefully tourist stuff next year, as I am trying to organize a girls' weekend with my college friends next year at Disney World.

4a. Apparently my college friends were having a girls' weekend that same weekend I was at SWCO, and while I wouldn't have been able to go, I'm fucked up over it because I had no idea and wasn't invited. So that didn't help my headspace over SWCO weekend.

5. I'm definitely in an "maybe I'm just completely broken and ruin everything" headspace right now.
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
On the Edge of the Devil's Backbone (282140 words) by bedlamsbard
Chapters: 24/?
Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Characters: Hera Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus, Sabine Wren, Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, C1-10P | Chopper, Ezra Bridger, Cham Syndulla, Barriss Offee, Kallus | ISB-021, Darth Vader, Ahsoka Tano, The Inquisitor (Star Wars), The Seventh Sister, The Fifth Brother
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence
Summary:

Ten years after she vanished during an Imperial raid on a Twi'lek colony, Cham Syndulla sees his daughter Hera for the first time in a hologram -- now wearing the uniform of an Imperial agent and apparently working closely with a human Inquisitor. All Cham wants to do is to bring his long-missing child home to what remains of her family, but he soon finds that Hera Syndulla is only interested in two things: her duty to the Empire and her loyalty to her crew, a mismatched collection of outcasts brought together by Hera and her pet Inquisitor.


With Cham and the Rebel agent known as Fulcrum in pursuit, a new mission takes Hera and the crew of the Ghost to the planet Lothal, where a chance meeting with a Force-sensitive teenager awakens something long buried in the Inquisitor once known as Kanan Jarrus...and has dire consequences for Hera, their crew, the Empire, and the fledgling Rebel Alliance.


*

Preview: Last Resort )
bedlamsbard: animals: a cougar standing on a tall rock (girlyb_icons) (a high place (girlyb_icons))
LJ -- at this point I'm not going to do anything except turn off the crosspost button; I've been mostly over here for the past eight years and agreeing to something legally binding in a language I don't read gets my hackles up, so my instinct is just to let it wither away. Also I'm too tired to do anything else right now.
bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: cup of tea on a laptop (girlyb_icons) (tea and laptop (girlyb_icons))
...a day early, because I'm traveling tomorrow but don't want to get out of the habit of it.

What I'm currently reading

A reread of Martha Wells' The Cloud Roads, which is on the one hand comfort reading for me, because the series is one of my favorites, and on the other hand Wells' prose is similar enough to mine that it helps reset me when I'm feeling scattered, which I am at the moment.

What I've just finished reading

Star Wars (Legends): Knight Errant by John Jackson Miller -- a reread, but I think I've only read it once or twice before. JJM is one of my favorite Star Wars authors, but I don't like the Knight Errant book + comics as much as I like some of his other works. Kerra Holt is a little abrasive for me, though in a way that makes me second guess my feelings and go "is it the character herself or my expectations for what makes a female character likable?"

Also The Silent Tower by Barbara Hambly, which I've been rereading on and off for a while but finally buckled down to finish the other day.

What I'm reading next

I'm in my usual pre-travel "oh god I need to get ALL the books I will read ALL the books" even though I know that I will not, in fact, read all the books. I pulled out Star Wars: Wraith Squadron to put in my handbag as hardcopy reading, and I've got my Kindle as well. We'll see.
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
1. I've been in a weird, grumpy mood lately -- I'm traveling this week so I'm stressed out about that (I hate traveling), I had my period, it's end of season stress, it's March, I've had a weird on-and-off writing....year, really, last year was a nightmare and I'm not over it yet. Trying to decide about SWCO. Trying to decide about grad schools. Not focusing well on whatever books I'm reading. My dad being back. I'm not really talking to anyone online; I'm not talking to anyone other than my parents in RL. I don't leave the house except to go to Fred Meyer. I don't exercise. The weather is...getting better, but it's that end of winter/beginning of spring slush.

2. I'm going to Atlanta on Wednesday to visit Emory, which I've got mixed feelings about -- I mean, god, I need to get out of this town, I need to interact with actual human beings who aren't my parents, but I don't like traveling (it's a full day in transit either way), I've never been to Atlanta before, and it's going to be several days of interacting with complete strangers who I need to impress. Well, I don't know how much I actually need to impress them, since they already made me the offer, but I don't want to be a complete disaster up front, you know? (They can't...take away the offer, can they? I assume I would have to fuck up real bad to accomplish that and I'm not sure there's anything I can do that's that bad unless I like. Trip and murder a professor.)

2a. I hate traveling and will start freaking out about the most minute details literally months in advance, which means I get crazier and crazier as the day approaches. (Also, checking weather reports, it's not actually, like, warm in Atlanta this week? It's basically the same as Ellensburg, looks like.)

3. I was going to visit the University of Kentucky, but there's like...a very slim chance I'm going to say yes to Kentucky, because the Emory offer is just so much better and the program is basically tailor-made for me. So I told them I couldn't visit, but now I feel bad about it. (But hey, that means I'm not going to be in transit again in March -- oh, I need to tell my friend in Lexington I'm not going and won't be staying with her.)

3a. I guess if Emory rescinds the offer for accidentally tripping and murdering a professor I can always go to Kentucky.

4. I am trying to sort out my feelings about SWCO because I told S (who I'd be rooming with) I'd get back to her by Monday. It's really, really hard for me to separate my feelings about SWCO from my feelings about X, and I'm not sure I can; if I go I'll be nervous about her the entire time, if I don't go I'll be angry at her for taking that from me for the next two years. The only two things that are making me hesitate are the money (which I have) and X (will have to avoid all Hera cosplayers just in case it's her).

4a. My mother thinks that I shouldn't go because it's expensive (true) and she thinks it's childish, but she thinks everything I do except the grad school thing is childish so there's that.

4b. The most recent family drama is that my cousin A, her (semi-estranged? no one seems to be sure?) husband, her two tiny children showed up unannounced at the family home in Japan last week and will be staying for the next month, so like, between A doing that and my father, Mr. "I found some cheap tickets so I'm going to Thailand and Laos for the next four months, I'm leaving the day after tomorrow, can you book the airport shuttle for me?" (true story), I don't really think my travel choices are the ones in this family that ought to be criticized.

5. I am at this point pretty determined to do the runDisney Star Wars Half-Marathon next year -- well, the 10K -- to the extent that I told all my college friends about it in the hopes of scheduling a girls' weekend at Disney World next April. (The Dark Side one -- the Light Side one at Disneyland is my birthday weekend, which, I don't want to do that on my birthday, and I feel like January will be harder to schedule around anyway. Though they haven't announced the dates for next year yet, probably because this year's hasn't happened yet.) Signs are looking positive on the friends' front, anyway, and Alaska said that she's also interested in running the 10K. Chicago said very firmly that she will not be running but she's up for the Disney vacation part.

5a. I have not run since high school ten years ago, but it's more than a year off so that's plenty of time to get in shape, right? And their minimum mile time is sixteen minutes and that's still over my walking time for a mile, so that should be...fine...anyway I have already planned my running costume.

5b. I am also trying to work on my massive commitment issues (the whole debacle with SWCO has not helped), so planning something with multiple people a year in advance should...help...?
bedlamsbard: animals: a cougar standing on a tall rock (girlyb_icons) (a high place (girlyb_icons))
Wait, I might be able to go to SWCO after all, which means I have to decide whether to go or not.

I really want to go, but it's a lot of money, and I know my ex is going to be there. However -- I don't want to give my ex the satisfaction of knowing that she got to go and I didn't, which isn't really, like...logical? The problem is that while I do really want to go because STAR WARS a lot of it is tied up with my ex -- which my memories of SWCE are too, and I want to separate "Celebration" from "X." So it's really hard for me to untangle "I want to do this for its own sake" and "I have issues with my ex."

(I do have the money. It is not, perhaps, the best use of my money, but my grandmother gave me a lot of money for graduating + getting into graduate school, and even before then I was planning to go, you know, I bought these tickets last July.

Admittedly: I am going to Atlanta this week (the university is paying) and then I have to go to New Orleans in May, and then I have to move cross-country in July or August. And I'm not making any money at the moment, but I am going to be making money once school starts in August, since I'll be TAing. And I'm trying to plan to go to Orlando next April with friends, but that's a year off.)
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
Things that are really not going to help my commitment issues: the fact that I have my 4-day pass for SWCO in my hand and I'm not going.

I had two separate plans fall through -- the first one was because I was planning to go with my ex, the second I'm assuming fell through because I haven't heard anything from her in about two months. And -- I know my ex is going to be there and I am literally terrified of running into her, so going probably wouldn't be a good idea anyway. They livestream the panels and most of the merch will be on Ebay the next week any day, and even at a markup will be cheaper than the thousand bucks it would cost to get a plane ticket and a hotel room (if there are still hotel rooms available).

I am still going to be furious and sulking for the next month, because I really do want to go. (Especially since there's not going to be a Celebration in 2018.)
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
As an aside: I'm traveling next Wednesday (I'm going to Atlanta to visit a potential grad school), so there may or may not be one of these next week.

What I'm currently reading

Shadows by Robin McKinley, which I read once when it first came out but haven't reread since -- I'm a little uncomfortable with how she incorporated the Japanese stuff, but I think this is more of my own issues than what's actually on the page. (Except I guess that while she made up several Eastern European countries, Japan's just...Japan. But England gets namechecked too, so...I don't know, like I said, it's my issues and I don't see too clearly where those are concerned. Also, Takahiro has the same name as my cousin Takahiro, so that's a little disconcerting for me.)

That's in hardback, in ebook I'm kind of flipping through various books without really feeling compelled to commit to any of them, which is mildly irritating to me since I'd like to focus on something for more than half a page -- The Cloud Roads by Martha Wells and Star Wars: Knight Errant by John Jackson Miller (both rereads) are the two current culprits.

What I've just finished reading

Rereads of A Madness of Angels by Kate Griffin, White Mughals: Love and Betrayal in Eighteenth-Century India by William Dalrymple, and Emilie and the Hollow World by Martha Wells were all rereads I finished this week, along with Magic for Nothing, the new Seanan McGuire Incryptid novel, which came out on Tuesday and which I read pretty much immediately.

What I'm reading next

Gods, at this point it's a wild guess, since I almost never read whatever I said I was going to read next the week before unless I'm in the midst of a series reread, and even then...
bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: cup of tea and an open book (perfect (pretty_pixels))
I'm going to do another graphic of daily reads for February, but not tonight.

What I'm currently reading

Rereads of A Madness of Angels by Kate Griffin, the first Matthew Swift book, and White Mughals: Love and Betrayal in Eighteenth-Century India by William Dalrymple, which I read a few years ago before I finalized my academic subfield (Roman imperialism and cultural identity), so it's really interesting to read something that's the same general topic but at a two thousand year remove. (And of course a lot of the academic talk is the same; both my field and Dalrymple's studies come out of the paradigm shift in post-colonial academia.)

I've also got Barbara Hambly's The Silent Tower on a slow reread, but I'm not really in the mood for it so I keep putting it down.

What I've just finished reading

The Minority Council and The Glass God by Kate Griffin -- I did my Matthew Swift + Magicals Anonymous out of order, whoops. (I tend to do series rereads out of order for various reasons.) And, huh, looking at my spreadsheet that actually seems to be it. Weird, I thought I read more this week.

What I'm reading next

I've got a bunch of William Dalrymple books either checked out from the library (In Xanadu and Nine Lives) or that I've just bought (Return of a King and The Last Mughal), so there's a high chance it's going to be Dalrymple for non-fiction. I also want to try and read (or reread) more Star Wars this month than I did last month. (Still haven't done that A New Dawn reread I've been wanting to do for ages.)
bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: cup of tea on a laptop (girlyb_icons) (tea and laptop (girlyb_icons))
Reasons I am in a bad mood today:

My dad came back, drank all the wine in the house on the grounds of "there wasn't much left, so I drank it," to be met with my mom going, "that's because we use it for cooking!" and me going, "IT WAS MINE!" (The red my mom bought, but the chardonnay and the pink moscato were both mine.) So I went to Fred Meyer in a rage this morning to get another bottle of chardonnay, since I use it for making risotto at 11 at night because that's when I get hungry, and now I've got a bottle of wine in my closet along with my remaining half-bottle of election night rum. (Which I hid before my dad got back, since I knew he'd drink it otherwise; before he left he drank the other bottle of rum, which my mom bought for making some kind of fruit in rum, my mother's cooking sake, and the plum vodka my mother made that wasn't even done yet.) I am not happy about having alcohol stocked away in my bedroom closet, but at least I know my dad won't look for it there.

I am kind of astonished he drank the moscato, because the last time I bought a bottle (it's what I drink), he wrote it off as "too girly" due to being pink and sweet. So I thought at least the moscato would be safe, but NOPE.

Oh, another reason I'm in a bad mood -- yesterday I found a book I'd been looking for for months at a price under three figures and happily clicked "buy," only to get the order cancelled half an hour later because apparently I'd gotten the last copy and the cover was ripped. I'M SO ANNOYED! (Star Wars: Lords of the Sith is out of print in hardback, and nearly impossible to find -- I'm furious with myself that I didn't get it in hardback when it first came out, just ebook.)
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
Actually on Wednesday this week!

What I'm currently reading

The Minority Council by Kate Griffin and The Silent Tower by Barbara Hambly, both rereads, though I've only read The Silent Tower once. (I've read others of the Windrose books multiple times, but the first one, only once -- this is another series I originally read in a weird order for some reason.) I also started Star Wars: Knight Errant by John Jackson Miller yesterday (another reread), but was still in a Matthew Swift headspace so I went to The Minority Council instead.

What I've just finished reading

I finished up the Sun Wolf and Starhawk series with The Witches of Wenshar and The Dark Hand of Magic (Barbara Hambly), and then went through the middle two Matthew Swift books, The Midnight Mayor and The Neon Court (Kate Griffin). I also finished reading Star Wars: Catalyst by James Luceno, which I hadn't expected to like or finish and which surprised me by the fact that I actually did like it. I bounce off so many Star Wars novels (a good 90% of the time they're the weakest part of the canon) that it's always a shock when I actually like one.

What I'm reading next

I really want to do a Star Wars: A New Dawn reread -- I've been meaning to since last year, and just haven't gotten around to it because for some reason I keep thinking I have to finish all my other books in progress first.
bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: woman pulling her pink corset tight (a woman's armor (ravenclawbest))
1. I've gotten offers from not one, but TWO graduate schools (Emory University and the University of Kentucky), which means that I'm going to have to face my nemesis, making decisions. I didn't actually expect to get into multiple schools. I'm still waiting to hear from two others, though I had to present myself as more interested in the Late Antique period for them and my entire record is classical, so those two are longer shots on that point alone. And Emory was my first choice (aside from Tulane, which said no), so...

1a. I have to tell them by Monday whether or not I'm going to the department's admitted students weekend and I am freaking out, because I know I should go, but the idea is terrifying. Not least because I can't interpret the instructions on the freaking e-mail about booking flights.

can someone please tell me what I'm supposed to do here? )

1b. I hate traveling so much that my kneejerk response is NO I DON'T WANT TO, but I guess I...should. But I don't want to and I'm dreading it. Alternately I just tell them no, I'm busy that weekend. Or something. (There's a 99% chance I'm going to say yes, so I don't need to be wooed.)

2. My father was supposed to come back from Thailand two weeks ago, but he got the date of his return flight wrong and missed it, so he's coming back this Wednesday instead. My mother keeps going "I don't understand how anyone could get that wrong," and I have to keep telling her, "I've done that with deadlines and exam dates," because I...take after my father in a lot of ways, apparently including in our crappy memories.

3. The weather's gone up above freezing here, which on the one hand is great, but on the other hand everything is melting...including the snow piled up on the woodshed roof, which we've now discovered is leaking heavily. You know what's in the woodshed? OUR FIREWOOD.

3a. My mother and I are basically like "well, we'll let Dad deal with it when he comes back" at this point, but I'm not sure there's anything that can be done before spring. I'm pretty certain we're going to have to get the roof replaced, so at least we already know what this year's home improvement project is going to be. (Last year we redid the deck. A few years ago my father decided to dig an impromptu sewage ditch. Living in the country is fucking weird.)

4. I am pretty good baker -- I've done biscuits, cookies, scones, layer cakes, eclairs and cream puffs, bread, cinnamon rolls, pies, crisps, and crumbles -- but the one thing I've never been able to make successfully has been chocolate chip cookies. I've tried so many times, every recipe you can think of -- yes, even that one. yes, that one too. yes, I've tried Alton Brown -- but I've never been able to do them successfully UNTIL NOW. I FINALLY MASTERED THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE. (I know, right, who can't make chocolate chip cookies? Everyone can make chocolate chip cookies.) I made perfect, delightful chewy in the center and crispy on the edges chocolate chip cookies, and I'm genuinely stunned because I've fucked it up so many times, AND YET. PRAISE THE TOLL HOUSE GODS. (The only thing I changed was using half milk chocolate and half semi-sweet chocolate chips, but that's only because I had both.)

4a. I still haven't made king cake this year. QUICK, MARDI GRAS SEASON IS COMING TO AN END, THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME LEFT.

5. So -- I don't think I've mentioned this on DW, but I started knitting again in December. For those that don't remember, or weren't around, I stopped knitting in February 2013 when I got tendinitis in both wrists, and I was too afraid of injuring myself again to pick it up again at any point in the intervening four years. When I stopped I still had stuff on the needles (a 3x1 ribbed sock, a lace stole, a cabled cowl), and I just packed it up when I moved from England back to Washington. At some point in December I pulled out my half-finished sock and started doing a round or two in the ten minutes between finishing doing my hair and finishing an episode of Rebels or TCW (everything in my life gets timed by those 22-minute eps; the 44-minute ones can really throw me off). And then I started working on it more, and finished that sock -- and cast on for a second sock (which involved me trying to figure out which cast-on I'd used, since I didn't have notes or anything, and which heel I'd used), and finished it a few days ago -- my first finished knitting in four years. I'm still sort of wary of the stole and the cowl (for one, I either put aside or threw out the patterns when I was decluttering this summer, and have no idea where they are, though I do know which patterns they are -- the stole is Juno Regina and the cowl is Nennir), but I pulled out my untouched stash, wound up a skein of Tanis Fiber Arts pebble sock, and cast on for another pair of socks.

5a. I'm still incredibly paranoid that I'll re-injure my wrists; I'm probably more afraid of that than I am of anything else, and I'm afraid of everything. Mostly I'm afraid of it when it comes to typing, but I can't stop typing, so...we persevere. (I wear wrist braces when I type and when I sleep, but I think they actually make my wrists worse if I wear them while knitting.)
bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: read (bookshelf with text "read") (read (girlyb_icons))
What I'm currently reading

The Witches of Wenshar, the second Sun Wolf and Starhawk book, by Barbara Hambly. I'm sort of inching through James Luceno's Star Wars: Catalyst -- I suspect it's going to be another DNF, as Luceno's one of my least favorite SW writers and I have a low tolerance for ~genius men and the women who take care of them, which is pretty much what the beginning of the book reads as. (And from what I've heard, I don't think that's going to improve; I don't particularly care about Galen Erso and Orson Krennic's relationship, either.)

What I've just finished reading

I'm going through books a little more slowly in February than I did in January, which has its highs and lows. I finished rereading The Siren Depths, and went through The Ladies of Mandrigyn (the first Sun Wolf and Starhawk book) and The Midnight Mayor (the second Matthew Swift) book, all of which were rereads.

I also moved The Fifth Season to my Did Not Finish list, and got through one chapter of The House of the Four Winds this morning before it went to the DNF list too. Blah. I suspected it would hit the DNF list as soon as it said as an aside "oh, yeah, these seventeen countries all share one ambassador for convenience." That's not...how international politics...works... (Sort of an alternate fantasy Earth, which I tend to find dull when they're just making up fancy names for England and France so that they can slot in their tee-tiny fictional country but not have to think about it too hard. Like, either do something interesting with it and do it fast, or go full fantasy, dude.) Also, the MC was...painfully boring.

What I'm reading next

I keep meaning to reread the Rivers of London books so I can read The Hanging Tree, since I can't remember what happened, but...I like the Matthew Swift books better which is why I reread The Midnight Mayor instead WHOOPS.

I've been meaning to reread the Enduring Flame trilogy as well, but we'll see. In all likelihood...more Barbara Hambly.
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
On the Edge of the Devil's Backbone (269748 words) by bedlamsbard
Chapters: 23/?
Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Characters: Hera Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus, Sabine Wren, Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, C1-10P | Chopper, Ezra Bridger, Cham Syndulla, Barriss Offee, Kallus | ISB-021, Darth Vader, Ahsoka Tano, The Inquisitor (Star Wars), The Seventh Sister, The Fifth Brother
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence
Summary:

Ten years after she vanished during an Imperial raid on a Twi'lek colony, Cham Syndulla sees his daughter Hera for the first time in a hologram -- now wearing the uniform of an Imperial agent and apparently working closely with a human Inquisitor. All Cham wants to do is to bring his long-missing child home to what remains of her family, but he soon finds that Hera Syndulla is only interested in two things: her duty to the Empire and her loyalty to her crew, a mismatched collection of outcasts brought together by Hera and her pet Inquisitor.


With Cham and the Rebel agent known as Fulcrum in pursuit, a new mission takes Hera and the crew of the Ghost to the planet Lothal, where a chance meeting with a Force-sensitive teenager awakens something long buried in the Inquisitor once known as Kanan Jarrus...and has dire consequences for Hera, their crew, the Empire, and the fledgling Rebel Alliance.


*

Preview: Fulcrum )
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
What I'm currently reading

The Siren Depths by Martha Wells, which is a favorite and a reread. I started N.K. Jemisin's The Fifth Season yesterday, but I'm not in the headspace to handle it right now. (And honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever be; I've liked Jemisin's other books, but this one is...not my thing. But it's definitely not my thing when I've been doing comfort reads for months because I can't deal with life.)

What I've just finished reading

A couple of Star Wars Legends novels -- Fatal Alliance by Sean Williams, which is an Old Republic novel, and Tales from Jabba's Palace, which is a collection of related short stories that had some really clever bits. And a canon novel, one of the YA novels that came out last year as part of the Journey to The Force Awakens releases, Jason Fry's The Weapon of a Jedi, which was fun.

I also read about half of Alexander Freed's Rogue One novelization before moving it to my Did Not Finish list; I'm not a fan of movie novelizations and this one was driving me to the verge of hating the story, which is...not the goal, since I actually liked the movie.

What I'm reading next

I want to say "the books I took out of the library" but in reality probably...not those.

What I'm reading next
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
1. I HATE WINTER because among other things, it turns the landscape in a monochromatic dystopian hellscape. There's actually more snow than that (the first two were taken today, the last one last week) now, since it's been snowing all day and I HATE IT. I lived in New Orleans for six years, y'all, why did I move back to Washington? When can I move away from Washington?

1a. Though I keep worrying vaguely about the fact that five of the six schools I applied to are all in very, very red states, but like...see again, I lived in Louisiana for six years, and Louisiana is a red state even if Orleans Parish is blue. (I think. I am pretty sure.) And Washington might be blue but my county is red. So like. *shrugs* I'm not planning on losing my Washington residency if I didn't do so in the past nine years, so. Also like I haven't even been accepted anywhere yet so that's not like. Really a major concern.

2. In "I hate winter and also living in the country" news, the other day a deer died on my lawn. *dead-eyed stare, no pun intended* cut for animal death )

3. On Monday I did make my first phone call to one of my reps -- I hate phone calls and I hate calling strangers and I hate expressing opinions, and both my senators are Democrats anyway so there didn't seem to be much of a point. (My congressman is a Republican so expressing an actual negative opinion is...still a little too intimidating for me to do, even if it's just to a staffer.) But I decided I would try one, and I got through to Maria Cantwell's DC office on the second try to say thank you for speaking out against the immigration ban. I tried Patty Murray's office but couldn't get through, but one is a start.

Everything is like...you know, CALL YOUR REPS EVERY DAY! OR YOU HAVE FAILED THE REPUBLIC! I hate phones and I hate expressing opinions, so mostly I just scrolled past and felt guilty. So...one is a start.

4. I've been watching a lot of Say Yes to the Dress lately, which always makes me feel like I'm back in college -- one of my best friends loved the show, and I have a very firm memory of sitting on her couch watching marathons with her. Also I'm appalled at some people's friends and families. What the fuck, people, it's her wedding, let her do what she wants.

5. At least twenty percent of every day is dedicated to worrying about getting into grad school. WHEN WILL I KNOW. There's so much praying going on in my household right now, probably more than at any point in the previous 20+ years.
bedlamsbard: miscellaneous: read (bookshelf with text "read") (read (girlyb_icons))
Before I get into the usual stuff, I did a January round-up of books only over on Tumblr; I liked doing daily reads and I think I'm going to try and keep it up. (Though the weird side effect of it is that it does make me juggle books in order to have a new one to post every day, though I'm not sure I'm actually juggling them more than usual.)

What I'm currently reading

I am finishing up Barbara Hambly's The Armies of Daylight, the third Darwath book.

What I've just finished reading

I finished Icefalcon's Quest (the fifth Darwath book; I don't usually do series rereads in order) this morning. Also, Stranger at the Wedding and Star Trek: Crossroad, both by Barbara Hambly (you know I'm deep into an author when I'm reading their tie-ins for a fandom I'm barely familiar with, but Crossroad read fine for someone who's only seen the most recent Trek movies despite being a TOS novel). Also Star Wars: Lost Tribe of the Sith, by John Jackson Miller, my favorite Star Wars author.

What I'm reading next

I've got the Rogue One novelization out from the library, and I've been meaning to read N.K. Jemisin's The Fifth Season for a while now.
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera with her arms folded, smiling (hera)
1. Every now and then I get really into a mobile game; past contenders include Angry Birds Star Wars II and Star Wars Card Trader. Right now it's Star Wars Force Arena, which is delightful. (Especially if you play it with the sound on, because it's all the Star Wars music -- I haven't done, like, an exhaustive survey but I suspect the music changes from battlefield to battlefield, since on Lothal it tends to be Rebels tracks.) I was a little antsy about it being player versus player instead of player versus ~the machine, but so far it's fun and that keeps it varied.

It's all characters from the Rebellion era, which keeps it within a very tight timeline; it's OT, Rebels, and Rogue One characters, plus a couple of comic book characters -- Doctor Aphra from Darth Vader and Evaan Verlaine from Princess Leia (though not playable, since they have to be used with a specific playable character). They're short on ladies on the Imperial side, which is kind of a bummer; Aphra and Arihnda Pryce from Rebels are there. I was hoping for the Seventh Sister, but so far she hasn't made it in. On the Rebel side, Leia, Sabine, and Jyn are all playable. All that said, I usually play as Ezra, mostly because I'm hoping I can eventually get Kanan, who can only be played with Ezra. (No Hera or Ahsoka, alas. Hopefully someday!)

2. I am waiting on grad school responses; I had an interview with one earlier this week, and got what's essentially waitlisted by another. ("Admissions committee recommended you, but we can't guarantee funding so we can't make an official offer, I'll be in touch if this changes.") My prof from Tulane says this is a good sign, since there's usually a fair amount of shuffling going on because applicants tend to get offers from multiple schools. I just feel like everything in my life is on hold until I get responses.

2a. This is really bringing home how slight the chances are of getting in -- like, the programs I'm applying to tend to only accept 4-8 applicants a year, and get between 150-200 applications. And if the same people are getting multiple offers, like...this is a very small field, I'm just saying. (TBH, it makes it sound like there are fewer than a hundred people in classics and ancient history nationwide who will be entering grad school in the fall -- which may be true, I don't know. I'm not sure how many PhD programs there are in the States for classics or ancient history.

2b. There was a 9% chance of snow the other day, so naturally it was snowing, which I actually found very encouraging considering there's only a 4% chance of getting into the grad program I interviewed for.

3. Looking at current events right now is depressing the hell out of me -- like, I can barely hold it together on my own account between the grad school stress and the breakup stress and the "what even is my future" stress, and then there's...America. (I need to start muting stuff, I think, but I haven't been because I'm like "I need to stay informed!" but also I want to curl up in a corner because everything is horrifying.)

4. I've been keeping a reading spreadsheet since 2011, keeping track of every book I read; this year I've been branching out to keep track of tea I buy (because I always forget) and recipes I make (because I'm curious). So far successful. Not successful: my attempt to set up a habit tracker, since it just stresses me out more. I don't feel like I have enough structure in my life right now to make trying a bullet journal anything resembling successful (a lot of the ones I've looked at have given me hives), since I need to do everything in very, very small doses or I get completely overwhelmed.

5. I finally found the set of stickers that I use to track the amount of work I do (I used them for working on my grad school apps), so I ordered two packs and having those extra packs has made me relax a lot. I have probably been stressed out of proportion, but I can't find any Rebels stickers in the States (these ones are only available in the UK), and I was just...very stressed. Also, the pack I have I got from my ex, so having new packs that don't come from her ease my peace of mind. (In the aftermath of the breakup, I got so stressed out looking at them that I couldn't even touch them because they made me think of her. I am past that now, mostly because I ordered the new packs.)

5a. Okay, that top link actually goes to the company which makes the stickers AND THEY'RE FOR SALE! and the six times I went to that website before I couldn't find, like. an actual store. so I bought my new packs on Ebay, but they're there! I could buy them! You have no idea how much this relieves me.

5b. I also decided that I would buy Rogue One stickers (which I can find in the States on Amazon) if I couldn't find Rebels stickers, so having that to fall back on is also very reassuring. (There are of course OT and TFA ones, but I don't care particularly about those. No TCW or PT that I've found, which isn't surprising.)

5c. I realize this all sounds incredibly minor, but stickers are basically the only thing that got me through my thesis and my grad school apps, so having an avenue that led to productivity being potentially cut off was terrifying.
bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
What I'm currently reading

Stranger at the Wedding by Barbara Hambly is the only active book I have up at the moment, though I've got a scattering of others that are in progress but which I haven't looked at in a while. I love Stranger at the Wedding, it's one of my favorite Hambly novels.

What I've just finished reading

I just finished a reread of the entire Chrestomanci series, which was delightful and makes me wish there were more stories that centered around Christopher, who is my fave. (I've heard that most DWJ fans are either Howl people or Chrestomanci people, and while I like Howl's Moving Castle better than any of the Chrestomanci novels, Christopher edges Howl out slightly for me.)

I also finished up a reread of Barbara Hambly's Winterlands novels with Knight of the Dragon Queen and Dragonstar.

What I'm reading next

I've got some books out from the library, and I took Jennifer Roberson's Lady of the Forest off my bookshelf a while ago because I wanted to reread it, but there's a better than even chance I'm just going to keep trucking ahead with my Hambly rereads.

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