Apr. 19th, 2017

bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
1. I went to Star Wars Celebration Orlando last week, which was -- pretty much a wash in some ways; it wasn't as transcendent an experience as SWCE was last year, mostly because of the feeling of CONSTANT VIGILANCE I couldn't shake due to my extreme fear of running into my ex. Which sort of overrode every other feeling I had about the experience, except annoyance since SWCO also wasn't as organized as SWCE and I kept missing things. Florida Man Organizes Star Wars Convention.

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Perhaps the real lesson from this con is "if you think there's a pretty good chance you're going to have a panic attack on the con floor, have at least one person there who knows why you're upset and afraid." Which I didn't this time; the person I was rooming with knew X and I weren't on speaking terms anymore, but not why.

2. Anyway here is my mostly positive summary of my SWCO experience, with pictures. I did enjoy myself; it's just that any time I look back at something I tend to be in "everything is a disaster" mode for weeks afterwards.

2a. Which also makes me feel like I shouldn't talk about my feelings, since my ex told me last year that then I ruin everyone else's experiences too.

3. This was my first time in Florida, and man, is it like Louisiana in climate -- I have really, really missed humidity, because the dryness in Washington is bad for my skin and it's a lot easier to deal with my hair in humidity. I have also missed being warm. I'm back in Washington now and back in a wool sweater, and I really feel like I did not properly appreciate tank top weather while I was in Florida, due to the fact I was only there for the four days of Celebration, and not for an extra day or so on either side to do actual tourist stuff.

4. Hopefully tourist stuff next year, as I am trying to organize a girls' weekend with my college friends next year at Disney World.

4a. Apparently my college friends were having a girls' weekend that same weekend I was at SWCO, and while I wouldn't have been able to go, I'm fucked up over it because I had no idea and wasn't invited. So that didn't help my headspace over SWCO weekend.

5. I'm definitely in an "maybe I'm just completely broken and ruin everything" headspace right now.

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bedlamsbard: star wars rebels: hera peering around a corner (Default)
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