bedlamsbard: natasha romanoff from the black widow prelude comic (Default)
bedlamsbard ([personal profile] bedlamsbard) wrote2007-04-04 05:15 pm
Entry tags:

Scenes from Season X

See the story arc here.



"Your lawyer's on his way," Flack said, banging back into the interrogation room. He leaned his good shoulder against the door. "What the hell are you playing at, Danny?"

Danny didn't even glance up from his cigarette, feet kicked up on the table. "The NYPD kicked me out. You really think there's all that much I can do?"

"Something besides this," Flack snapped. "C'mon, Danny, you're better than this. Let me make a couple phone calls, see if I can hook you up."

Danny shook his head briefly and sent up another stream of somke. "Go to hell, Flack," he said, but there was a curious lack of emotion in his voice. He leaned forward and cupped his free hand around the cigarette he was holding.

"Those things'll kill you," Flack said.

"Good. I'll see you in hell."

Flack let out a frustrated sigh. "Danny --"

Someone knocked on the door. Flack turned. "I'll be back."

"No," Danny said, crushing out his cigarette on the table and lighting up another one. "You won't."

The report he'd written up hit him in the chest as soon as he closed the door behind him. "Your report's wrong," Yamata said. "Christ, I hate eyewitnesses."

"What the hell?" Flack snapped. "I was there. And what the hell are you doing here, this is my case."

"Not anymore," Yamata said bitingly. "Maybe you better get your eyes checked, Detective, because your facts are wrong. Pastore attacked you and you wrestled for your service piece. Upon gaining control of your weapon you discharged it into Pastore's head. It was a clearcut case of self-defense. Messer didn't come onto the scene until afterwards. You don't have a case."

"Are you insane?" Flack demanded, looking down at the report in his hand.

"Amend that report, Flack," Yamata said. "And fix that Oxford comma on page three before I bust you back down to rescuing kittens out of trees down in Staten Island." He banged into the interrogation room before Flack could say anything else.





"Hey, hold on there," Flack began, heading toward the crime scene tape with hands up and palms out. "This is a closed crime scene --"

The man held up his badge. "Detective Yamata, Organized Crimes."

"Detective Cloke," the woman said. She looked Flack up and down. "You're not Taylor," she added flatly.

"Detective Flack, Homicide," Flack said, raising an eyebrow. "Detective Taylor's inside with the vic. And what brings OCD out here?"





"It's too bad you can't bring a case to trial, Detective," Taccetta said, eyes bright.

Cloke was taking shallow, angry breaths. "Rot in hell, Taccetta," she grated out through clenched teeth, and turned away.

"Is that how you survived three months as a POW in Afghanistan?" Taccetta added, and Cloke turned around and punched him in the face.

"You fucking bastard!" she screamed. Yamata got his arms aorund her waist and pulled her away, off her feet, wincing as Cloke knocked her head back into the bridge of his nose. "Let the hell go of me, Yamata, I'm going to kill that Mafia bastard. Let go of me!"

Yamata held on grimly. Taccetta touched his jaw. "That bitch has a fucking hard right," he spat.

"Get out," Yamata snarled, Cloke still struggling to get ouf his grip and spitting out incoherent cusswords. "Get the hell out of my precinct before I develop a case of Gulf War Syndrome on your criminal ass."

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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-05 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Problem! I have a two episode mini-arc that would fit into Season X, and I think thematically it has to go after X.15 and before X.18, but those two eps are too close together for me to put the mini-arc in as X.16 and X.17. So I was thinking I'd move X.14 and X.15 back to X.11 and X.12 and put the mini-arc in as X.14 and X.15.

And that probably wins an award as the single most confusing thing I have ever typed. The reason the mini-arc has to be in a certain place at a certain time is because the second ep of it ("Semper Fidelis Ad Mortem", tentatively) has Yamata and Cloke in a big way. The next time they show up is in X.18, the arson case, and then X.21.

Wait, now I'm confused.

God, this stuff is hard.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-05 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
...

And that probably wins an award as the single most confusing thing I have ever typed.

Yes, yes it does.


Okay, so what's the problem?

09 through 13 are all regular case-loads, though 12 is the drug-related one, but can probably fall anywhere in there, right? So balance those out, push the 16//17 arc back to 14/15 and the 14/15 back to 11/12, and you should be okay, I think?
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Trying to figure out what's necessary for the thematic beats, as well as how the show structures its seasons: i.e. where to put significant episodes. And I don't want to have Cloke and Yamata show up too often, but I do want them to show up just often enough. Likewise, I don't want the mob arc to show up too often or too close together.

Okay, let's see: Yamata and/or Cloke show up in, for sure: X.01, X.14, X.15 (original versions), X.18, X.22, X.23, and X.0X (Semper Fidelis Ad Mortem).

The mob plot/Danny show up in: X.01, X.02, X.03, X.08, X.14, X.15, X.22, and X.23. (The mini-arc is not relevent; it's a serial murder case.)

X.04 through X.13 are all normal cases, excluding Stella's run-in with Danny. So I'll shoved X.12 back to X.6, put X.14 and X.15 into the X.11 and X.12 slot (exactly mid season!), and put the mini-arc into the X.14 and X.15 slots. Which means that Yamata and Cloke show up again three eps later, in X.18. That'll leave us three "Life Goes On" cases, which, knowing how the show works, are probably heavily character focused. I don't really have any idea what else is going on through this season, except for the mini-arc.

Sorry for brainstorming at you!

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
Brainstorm away.

I won't pretend to know what you're talking about in full, cause I have a feeling you have all of this stuff in your head and you're just getting it out and I don't know the entire plot, but this looks totally perfect. The balance of characters appearing, plot arcs, and the regular cases is really nice, because it keeps the entire arc moving, but not so quickly that an audience would a) predict what's happening in full, and b) get bored waiting. Which, of course, are both things that canon fails to do.
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
It's this or I talk to myself. Which, um, I do anyway, but I seem much less crazier when I'm typing at the computer.

Okay, the arc's been updated on the Season X (http://bedlamsbard.livejournal.com/135110.html) page, so it should look fairly decent. I really have no idea what goes on in the "Life Goes On" eps -- I'm thinking there're probably a couple of broad character arcs going on, one with Mac and one (possibly) with Lindsay, as well as lesser ones by our other mains. It depends a little bit on where I set this, in theory -- I'm thinking season five, but it could work as a season four, too. This is hard. I sat down during AP History to see how I'd plot it out as a story, rather than a television show, and came to the conclusion that I'd have to write it George R.R. Martin style (have you ever read A Song of Ice and Fire? Like that, with interwoven POVs and plots) in order to cover the time period, the characters, and the multiple plots that would be necessary.

Also, I think you'd love the new X.15, "Semper Fidelis Ad Mortem." Yamata and Cloke for the WIN.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
The new season guide looks freaking awesome. AWESOME.

I have the first of the SoIaF books, and I started reading it, but didn't make it further than the first 60 or so pages before I didn't have time, so I plan to read it this summer. But I know what you mean, with the POVs shifting and changing.

Ooh, Yamata and Cloke totally win. SERIOUSLY. Yamata comes in demanding the Crime Lab's help in finding her before she's killed, ngh. Man, he must be desperate.
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Hurrah! Hopefully someday it shall be expanded more.

READ THEM. Oh my God, so good.

Man, he must be desperate.

You have no idead. Allow me to quote: "Some bastard is going around murdering female Marines, good soldiers, good cops, and your people are sitting on your asses twiddling your thumbs. Now tht son of a bitch has Cloke and I swear to God, I swear on my oath as a U.S. Marine, that if you let her die I will bury Danny Messer so deep that no one will never he's a cop. If she dies, he can rot in jail or burn in hell with the rest of Taccetta's thugs, I swear to God, and I wont' think twice when I put him there."

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
Damn, Yamata is seriously desperate. I mean, I get that he doesn't like Danny in the first place, but wow. WOW.

I'll read them this summer... I need time, and school doesn't believe in giving me such things.
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
No, that's not it. He likes Danny. He just likes Cloke more, and he's willing to use whatever leverage he has to get the Crime Lab to help. That leverage just happens to be threatening to make sure Mac's people suffer if his do.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
I assume they do get Cloke back, safe and sound (mostly)?
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah. Man, Cloke is hardcore. She's been a POW; like being tortured by a psycho ex-Marine would faze her.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
I can't decide whether to say "poor Cloke" or "damn, that's kickass". She'd probably kick my ass for the former, but it's kinda true.
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)

[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
Both are so true.

I need to write some Cloke. Everything you're hearing about her is being filtered through me; I have to make sure I can actually write the woman.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
You know me, I'm just sitting here. Waiting. Eager. (bored).
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
I shall see what I can do. After I flunk my calc test tomorrow, because the word "study"? Not in my vocab.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-06 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, um, no. NO FLUNKING OF THE CALC TESTS. Because Calc is important, and, um. Useful. And yes. School is more important than fic and fandom and internets and other Various Things.
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
...I didn't flunk! I made a couple of really dumb mistakes, though.

School is more important than fic and fandom and internets and other Various Things.

Really? Who knew? (I totally haven't been doing homework, so I have to do all of it this weekend. Fucking Paradise Lost, man.)

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
School sucks. It's one of the unfortunate necessities of life. Also, Paradise Lost? Man, terrible book, but there's some fantastic hidden stuff in there, like INCEST ftw. Satan who sleeps with his daughter and gives birth to Death, who rapes his mother and gives birth to hellhounds. Good Stuff. I had to write a term paper on it last year, got a B+, thank goodness for Sparknotes. *is such a BAD student*
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
I read it...now I just have to write a Big Damn Paper on it. The sentence outline's due Monday, so I have to figure out what I'm writing about, then make sure it fills out about ten papers of outlining.

I'm screwed. Besides, I only like the first two books of it; I can't stand the rest.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
I wrote mine on... crap. Um. How "the various forms of imagery and the contrast of tame and untamed environments in both Milton’s Paradise Lost and the wide array of rural and pastoral poems of the seventeenth century" show that "Milton’s Paradise emerges as a unique interpretation of nature as viewed in the 1600s". It was utter crap. But I scored well on it, so yaye for that.
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
I think I'm doing something about Satan's portrayal as tragic/fallen hero. Since I can't stand anyone else in the story.

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
Oooh, that'd be interesting. Good luck!
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
God knows I need it.

That or the portrayal of fate and free will in the story, and while I'd love to do that, there's no way in hell I'm going past the first three books to deal with the stuff that really pisses me off. (It's such a good thing I'm not Christian.)

[identity profile] limmenel.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
Well, the shows of free-will are few and far between, and something that you could focus directly on while ignoring all of the other stuff around it... like, the fall of Lucifer, the fall of Eve, and then the fall of Adam. And whatever else... I don't know, the rest of the demons, and maybe how Uriel and the like are totally slaves to God's will and the like. Psh.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm an athiest (which amuses my Jewish parents to no end whenever it's not annoying them), and the Christian BS really bugs me.
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[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2007-04-07 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
I'd concentrate on God's manipulation. Christ Jesus (no pun meant). Also, I'd have to reread the entire book, and I can't do that in forty-eight hours and write an outline. I read the book back in, like, October or November.

I'm sort of randomly pagan. Blame the fact that I grew up on the Greek myths.

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