a plea for advice

[bedlamsbard]

My friend Chicago has an ex-boyfriend who has been sending her harassing text messages. He's been doing this all school year now, after repeated attempts on her part to get him to stop, and since it's the end of the school year, she's afraid to go back to Chicago. He's also an ex-felon, for reasons that she's not sure of, but other fun facts include a baby daughter he never sees and an alcohol problem and a drug addiction. (She met him through a friend who does AA.) Unfortunately, he hasn't sent her anything that she could go with the police with as grounds for a restraining order, and she doesn't want her parents to know about this. Right now, her latest option is to get her gentleman friend (who's AFROTC) to send him a text telling him to leave her alone, in the hopes that it will get him to threaten her via text and she can take that to the police. Does anybody have any advice or other options? She really doesn't want to go to her parents, and any advice would be much appreciated.

(She is making me add that she is a fine, upstanding citizen, and I can vouch for her character, if not her taste in men.)

(She also can't block his phone number; she has an unjailbroken iPhone.)

ETA: Chicago would like me to add that her parents don't know this guy exists, and has absolutely refused to tell her parents, despite repeated entreaties on my part. (Also she is reading over my shouldder and vetting everything I type.) Things I should add: she is not in Chicago proper (small town where everyone knows everybody, including the cops), she is not a minor, her parents are paying her tuition, and she's a gender studies major so I have no idea why she is so stubborn on this point, and she believes I am over-reacting.

And thank you very, very much to everyone who has replied at this point.

Comments

[harpers_child]

tell mom and dad "i met this guy through a friend and gave him my number and now he won't stop harassing me. would you mind paying for phone provider to block his number? i think he's getting obsessed with me and some of his texts make me feel threatened." she doesn't have to go into the romantic aspect if she doesn't want to. just make it sound like a friend of a friend. maybe admit she might have flirted with him a time or two.

[dogstar]

This, exactly. It's low key, and it keeps things from escalating. ALl of my other ideas are more confrontational because I'm an evil jerk.

[harpers_child]

i may have had a similar situation with a guy i dated once. my parents knew about him, we only dated for a month and half, and he was a cop. after we broke up he kept calling me. and calling me. and calling me. on my cell phone. on my dorm phone. on my parent's house phone. we blocked numbers. he used friends phones, called from work, called from siblings houses etc. i can't remember how it all ended (this was years ago) but i know i never went anywhere without at least two large male friends with me. it was horrible. i don't think anyone should ever have to go through it.

[dogstar]

It's also worth pointing out that if he's texting THAT much- and especially if she's not replying- her parents already have access to that information via their phone bill.