I don't think you're overreacting.

And Chicago's involvement in everything you listed doesn't mean she doesn't have her own blinders. For one thing, it's very easy to see what's wrong with someone else's relationship, but when it's your own, you can be too close. It's a lot easier to brush it off as 'not as bad as I know it can be' or as 'look, I'm into all this heavy, smart stuff, there's no way I would get myself into this, so it can't be that bad because it can't happen to me'.

I wish I could give you something concrete that you and she could do to fix this.