the last legion

[bedlamsbard]

GUYS THIS MOVIE. It is so historically inaccurate that it is actually kind of awesome. Also, Colin Firth plays a hardbitten Roman soldier, so how can you go wrong with that? And Aishwarya Rai plays an ass-kicking Byzantine warrior woman, because that's what you get in the Eastern Roman Empire. AND TOGETHER THEY KICK ASS. IT IS AWESOME.

Also, Romulus the last Western Roman emperor grows up and becomes Uther Pendragon with Julius Caesar's magic sword. Obviously.

HERE IS THE MOSTLY INACCURATE TRAILER:

Considering the historical inaccuracy in this movie, I am actually pretty impressed that they got Romulus's, Odoacer's, and Vortigern's names right. I mean, the dates are wrong (Romulus Augustulus: neither crowned nor deposed in 460 AD, and, uh, the Ninth Legion predates 460 AD by the tee-tiny number of THREE HUNDRED YEARS, and also, the Western Roman Empire fell what we might call slightly later), but who needs dates when you have Colin Firth and Aishwarya Rai kicking Goth ass up and down Capri? Also, ignore the fact that there probably weren't giant stone pieces of broken statuary lying casually around in Italy, and also that the capital of the Western Roman Empire was, uh, sort of not Rome. Also, Romulus Augustulus? Not actually descended from Julius Caesar. And Romulus's mystic zen British mentor. Also, I really doubt anyone in Britain was making swords for Julius Caesar out of fallen meteorites. Religion? What religion? We'll just ignore that, shall we?

Also, the extremely late medieval castle on one side or another of Hadrian's Wall, not entirely sure which, they're always a little vague on that. Also how there are no people in Britain besides Vortigern's lot and the Ninth Legion soldiers and their families. We're not even going to get into the armor, weapons, clothing, or fighting techniques. (Like how they invented the, I have no other way to describe this, AUTOMATIC CROSSBOW.)

I am making this movie sound horrible. THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY AWESOME because you honestly can't take it seriously. The scene on Capri is, I am pretty sure, the best in the whole movie, because it is funny, and also, ass-kicking. Aurelius and Mira, despite the WTF there, are actually both amazing -- there is a romance, but it's more muted than I've ever seen any movie deal with a romance. And Mira is consistently awesome. There's also one pair of really slashy legionnaries, if you like that sort of thing. And poor John Hannah, once more typecast as a slimy Roman politician. SO SORRY JOHN HANNAH. Sometime I really want John Hannah as the hero.

This movie may be too historically inaccurate for you. I understand. You may even say it is bad. I understand. For me it was kind of awesome because at no point did it actually take itself seriously, the acting is top-notch (over-played sometimes, but no one that stood out as really wooden to me), the action sequences are hysterical, there are actually some really clever bits, and it's funny (unlike King Arthur or Robin Hood or Gladiator). The key is to go in thinking it's going to be awful. (Which, uh, I probably made impossible by reccing it, but hey, what the hell.)

Comments

[darklyndsea]

I've gotten lots of enjoyment out of movies I've gone into expecting to be terrible. I'm still not sure if it's because they were actually good, or if it's because I had such low standards for them that it was almost impossible to not meet them (I watched Tron and Star Trek solely because I expected them to be glowy and probably terrible, and ended up enjoying the hell out of them; I have no idea what quality they actually were. I watched Robin Hood for the archery; there was almost none. It was definitely as bad as you said it was).

[bedlamsbard]

I watched Robin Hood for the WTF, which was really not worth it. There wasn't even enough eye candy in that movie. *sighs dramatically*

I went into Prince Caspian expecting it to be really, really terrible. That worked out! VotDT, not so much.