tales from the seminar
Nov. 18th, 2010 08:39 amSTUDENT #1: I just have to interrupt because what D. said CANNOT GO UNHEARD. He said, "So why has no one ever bothered to train whales? They're like the elephants of the sea!"
CLASS: *dies laughing*
PROFESSOR: Well, there are two historical occasions! In [er, year I have forgotten] when [some city-state]'s navy was sailing along, they ran across a pod of whales, and had no IDEA what the hell those things were, so they formed up into battle formation to attack. The whales just went under the ships and came out on the other side and kept swimming along, ignoring them. The other time was when Harald Bluetooth wanted to convert Iceland, so he sent out a Lapp in the form of a whale, only the Icelanders got sorcerors from the Hebrides who held off the whale with birds, walruses, and dragons, so the whale had to go back to Norway; Iceland was too well protected.
CLASS: *still laughing*
PROFESSOR: If anyone could have tamed whales to fight in wars, it would have been the Romans! They would have sacrificed to Neptune and Poseidon, and because the Romans are the favorites of the gods, IT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE WORKED.
CLASS: *dies laughing*
PROFESSOR: Well, there are two historical occasions! In [er, year I have forgotten] when [some city-state]'s navy was sailing along, they ran across a pod of whales, and had no IDEA what the hell those things were, so they formed up into battle formation to attack. The whales just went under the ships and came out on the other side and kept swimming along, ignoring them. The other time was when Harald Bluetooth wanted to convert Iceland, so he sent out a Lapp in the form of a whale, only the Icelanders got sorcerors from the Hebrides who held off the whale with birds, walruses, and dragons, so the whale had to go back to Norway; Iceland was too well protected.
CLASS: *still laughing*
PROFESSOR: If anyone could have tamed whales to fight in wars, it would have been the Romans! They would have sacrificed to Neptune and Poseidon, and because the Romans are the favorites of the gods, IT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE WORKED.