5 things make a post (that isn't just about my irrational hysteria) (mostly, not just)

1. My mother got back from Japan today, so now I'm no longer alone in the house and just taking care of myself. And now things have to be back on a certain kind of schedule again, instead of just whenever I feel.

2. I've been working on our semi-feral barn cats (Convor, Fyrnock, Tibidee, Dokma, and Romulus Augustulus -- he's the only male), and after months Fyrnock, the bravest of them, finally let me pet her. She's still pretty unsure about it, but she hasn't tried to scratch me or anything, and every time I go out to feed the cats she winds around my feet and rubs against me. The others are still keeping their distance -- Dokma's never come out from behind the spray rig -- but at least Fyrnock!

2a. Yes, I named my cats after critters from Star Wars Rebels. Except for Romulus Augustulus, obviously.

3. I'm dissociating a little, or maybe a lot, from the whole...politics thing. (You know the thing, everyone knows the thing.) If I think about it I freak out; if I don't, I'm also thinking about how I'm not thinking about it and then I feel guilty/bad/terrible about that. It's...a lot.

( more on this )

4. I've been scratching open my ear again, so that's...fun. It's a stress thing, I suspect.

5. tbh at this point my entire attitude is "dear god we're all going to die, what is the point of anything."