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Mar. 23rd, 2020 06:07 pmI can't stop crying today.
I'm fine, my family's fine, my dad is still in Thailand (the airports in fact had NOT closed when he told us, but he's decided to stay there for now and no, of course he hasn't told the embassy he's there, agh). Georgia's not in a shelter-in-place (because our governor is incompetent), I just can't stop crying. I'm definitely pre-menstrual which usually comes with existential sadness anyway, it's just way dialed up at the moment; it only really started being this bad last night and hopefully it will go away in a day or so.
I need to renew my passport, and I'm freaking out because I haven't sent it in yet. Passport Agency website says expedited service is not being offered, but seems to say that regular renewal is fine, just potentially delayed? Am I reading that right? I don't trust any of my own perceptions right now.
I'm spending too much money, but I have money in the bank from my grandmother and I'm still getting my stipend, so it's not smart but whatever, the world is on fire and commissioning art makes me feel like there might be a future.
I'm still teaching. Today is supposed to be the return to classes via remote, and I just finished revamping the Canvas page and sending out the revised syllabus before our Zoom session on Wednesday. I'm being very upfront with my class and my advisor about the fact that I'm a mess right now, so I'm not operating on the schedule I should be. Just got an e-mail from the department about having to designate a successor to take over the class if I get sick or otherwise can't teach it, which a colleague in the classics department had to do last week except more hardcore, and now I'm even more depressed.
I'm really depressed about the fact that I spent, literally, more than a year working on this syllabus and now half of it is out the window, and I don't know that I will ever get a chance to teach it again. I'll ask my advisor if there's any chance that the department will let me teach a ~normal class again in my fourth or fifth year, assuming we're back to on-campus classes then. (I understand why Emory is making this decision, but among other things Emory told us to cancel most scheduled exams and replace them with projects or papers, and I specifically wanted exams and justified them multiple times in my pedagogy class and in my portfolio defense.)
I'm glad I'm at a private university with one of the largest endowments in the country and which specializes in medicine right now, since I'm reasonably certain that Emory will take care of its grad students as much as it can; comparing Emory's reaction to CWU's (where my mom is teaching this year) is a huge difference.
I'm going to go blow my nose and start making pulled pork.
I'm fine, my family's fine, my dad is still in Thailand (the airports in fact had NOT closed when he told us, but he's decided to stay there for now and no, of course he hasn't told the embassy he's there, agh). Georgia's not in a shelter-in-place (because our governor is incompetent), I just can't stop crying. I'm definitely pre-menstrual which usually comes with existential sadness anyway, it's just way dialed up at the moment; it only really started being this bad last night and hopefully it will go away in a day or so.
I need to renew my passport, and I'm freaking out because I haven't sent it in yet. Passport Agency website says expedited service is not being offered, but seems to say that regular renewal is fine, just potentially delayed? Am I reading that right? I don't trust any of my own perceptions right now.
I'm spending too much money, but I have money in the bank from my grandmother and I'm still getting my stipend, so it's not smart but whatever, the world is on fire and commissioning art makes me feel like there might be a future.
I'm still teaching. Today is supposed to be the return to classes via remote, and I just finished revamping the Canvas page and sending out the revised syllabus before our Zoom session on Wednesday. I'm being very upfront with my class and my advisor about the fact that I'm a mess right now, so I'm not operating on the schedule I should be. Just got an e-mail from the department about having to designate a successor to take over the class if I get sick or otherwise can't teach it, which a colleague in the classics department had to do last week except more hardcore, and now I'm even more depressed.
I'm really depressed about the fact that I spent, literally, more than a year working on this syllabus and now half of it is out the window, and I don't know that I will ever get a chance to teach it again. I'll ask my advisor if there's any chance that the department will let me teach a ~normal class again in my fourth or fifth year, assuming we're back to on-campus classes then. (I understand why Emory is making this decision, but among other things Emory told us to cancel most scheduled exams and replace them with projects or papers, and I specifically wanted exams and justified them multiple times in my pedagogy class and in my portfolio defense.)
I'm glad I'm at a private university with one of the largest endowments in the country and which specializes in medicine right now, since I'm reasonably certain that Emory will take care of its grad students as much as it can; comparing Emory's reaction to CWU's (where my mom is teaching this year) is a huge difference.
I'm going to go blow my nose and start making pulled pork.