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Jun. 17th, 2020 12:57 pmWell, I'm hanging in there.
Right now I'm just exhausted all the time, to an extent it's a little worrying, but I'm 98% sure it's just stress and general malaise. I'm doing what I would have been doing this summer anyway, working on my dissertation prospectus, except it's proceeding at a snail's pace because my executive function is shot and I can't concentrate on anything for very long. This is obviously somewhat less than ideal, since I have to have it defended by early September in order to keep my funding. (I'd also be thrilled to be working on something other than post-Roman Europe at the moment, since it just feels kind of vaguely uncomfortably thematic. Should have stuck to classical magic, sigh, nothing thematic about that.)
There's just a lot going on right now and it's really overwhelming, especially when I have something I absolutely have to do.
I miss my mother. I miss not being in Georgia. I was supposed to be in Disney World last week, which obviously got cancelled, and Star Wars Celebration Anaheim just got cancelled and postponed until August 2022, which I'm just really sad about even if I know it's the best thing to do. My father is, by the way, still in Thailand, much to despair of literally everyone in my family. And he's talking to my mother and to his mother, but not to me, which is NOT making me happy, and since Father's Day is this week I'm even more annoyed about it.
I'm just really tired. I feel like I'm having that early quarantine haze that everyone else had in March now in June, because I had other things going on in March that made it less of an option at the time. It's...not helpful. And at this point everyone just expects you to be used to it. (Plus reopening, etc. University is going to be on campus this fall but I'm not in coursework or teaching, so all I care about is library access.)
Right now I'm just exhausted all the time, to an extent it's a little worrying, but I'm 98% sure it's just stress and general malaise. I'm doing what I would have been doing this summer anyway, working on my dissertation prospectus, except it's proceeding at a snail's pace because my executive function is shot and I can't concentrate on anything for very long. This is obviously somewhat less than ideal, since I have to have it defended by early September in order to keep my funding. (I'd also be thrilled to be working on something other than post-Roman Europe at the moment, since it just feels kind of vaguely uncomfortably thematic. Should have stuck to classical magic, sigh, nothing thematic about that.)
There's just a lot going on right now and it's really overwhelming, especially when I have something I absolutely have to do.
I miss my mother. I miss not being in Georgia. I was supposed to be in Disney World last week, which obviously got cancelled, and Star Wars Celebration Anaheim just got cancelled and postponed until August 2022, which I'm just really sad about even if I know it's the best thing to do. My father is, by the way, still in Thailand, much to despair of literally everyone in my family. And he's talking to my mother and to his mother, but not to me, which is NOT making me happy, and since Father's Day is this week I'm even more annoyed about it.
I'm just really tired. I feel like I'm having that early quarantine haze that everyone else had in March now in June, because I had other things going on in March that made it less of an option at the time. It's...not helpful. And at this point everyone just expects you to be used to it. (Plus reopening, etc. University is going to be on campus this fall but I'm not in coursework or teaching, so all I care about is library access.)