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bedlamsbardGod damn it, god damn it, god damn it. Considering the fact I just spend the last fifteen minutes sitting on the floor of my shower crying, I think we can say that I'm really stressed. I just can't figure out how I justify my personal happiness being worth (around) $80K plus interest in loans (max, I think, depending on how the AFROTC scholarship sorts things out. It would help if Tulane would just combine their merit scholarship with the AFROTC scholarship, but no).
And the fact that I'm crying over it (contrary to popular opinion, I do not cry at the drop of a hat. It must be a hat that I like) should probably show that I really want to go to Tulane, not Wellesley.
Fuck being twenty-twenty. Hindsight's a bitch. If I'd just applied for goddamn scholarships -- hell, if I'd applied for Army and Navy ROTC scholarships too, but no, I had to only go Air Force. Army's the only one where I can still apply for a full-ride ROTC scholarship while in college, and I may try that if I have to when I start in the fall (if I can somehow justify Tulane to myself), although I'll feel horrible backing out on the Air Force...
God, I don't know. Or rather, I do know, but it really sucks.
And the fact that I'm crying over it (contrary to popular opinion, I do not cry at the drop of a hat. It must be a hat that I like) should probably show that I really want to go to Tulane, not Wellesley.
Fuck being twenty-twenty. Hindsight's a bitch. If I'd just applied for goddamn scholarships -- hell, if I'd applied for Army and Navy ROTC scholarships too, but no, I had to only go Air Force. Army's the only one where I can still apply for a full-ride ROTC scholarship while in college, and I may try that if I have to when I start in the fall (if I can somehow justify Tulane to myself), although I'll feel horrible backing out on the Air Force...
God, I don't know. Or rather, I do know, but it really sucks.