GUYS

Jun. 6th, 2008 11:43 am
bedlamsbard: natasha romanoff from the black widow prelude comic (the die hard way (likefluffy))
[personal profile] bedlamsbard
I...have graduated high school! I am an official high school graduate!

Well, okay, I don't have my diploma yet, but I have to pick that up today.

At EHS, graduation day begins with the Senior Breakfast, where we're all served breakfast in the Commons (a.k.a. the cafeteria, but it's just the Commons) by parents and school board members and given our Senior Grams, which are written by teachers and other students. Then we get our class picture taken, and rehearse walking in and out of the gym in preparation for the Senior Assembly. Which is next. We all march in to Pomp and Circumstance, and then the teachers and administrators hand out awards for...well, everything. I got a few of those. *grin* After this, we all drive down to Central for the Senior Luncheon. This is where it got interesting.

Apparently the teachers chosen to speak at the luncheon decided that it was a great time to say all the stuff they can't normally say at school. You know, like, "Aren't you glad you never have to wonder again when [K.S.S.] is going to get laid so he can stop talking about sex? And the other day I saw [W.F] wearing a shirt that said 'Hi. You'll Do.' Is there a word for male slut? And we all know about the first time [A.D.M.] got drunk. Someone gave her some punch at a party that had various flavors added to it, and the next thing you know she was dancing next to a guy and saying in a low, smoky voice, 'I want to have your babies.' She's really a cheap drunk -- there wasn't even in any alcohol in that drink, and she didn't know it until now. This class is really great at drama. For example, the other day [D.R.] got pulled over for doing 89 in a 25 mph zone, and he started crying as the officer had him cuffed on the hood of his car, wailing about how he was going to be late to see his kindergarten buddy. The officer let him go." [D.R. shakes his head.] "And back in my Sophomore Honors English class three years ago, I had an assignment called 'This Has To Stop Now.' [K.U.] wrote about premarital sex. How's that working out for you, [K.]?" [K.U.'s girlfriend hits him.] "Now, I was at Prom taking pictures of all you gorgeous people -- some of the boys even looked presentable. And with my camera, there's a three second delay between pressing the button and the picture actually taking. I went to take an innocent crowd picture, and in those three seconds, I got a picture of one girl grinding her butt into [Z.P]'s crotch and another caressing his back. I thought about showing this picture to his parents, but the other teachers told me that his dad would probably just be thrilled that his son had managed to get lucky with one girl, let alone two. By the way, I have a copy of that picture if anyone wants to see it." [Z.P. goes, "I want to see that picture!"] "In the staff room, we give out the 'Damned Lucky to be Graduating' Award. Until last week, [D.S.] was winning it. He was failing PE. How do you fail PE? With Mr. H?"

And so on and so forth. That was just one teacher by the way, and she had about four pages of this. The next teacher was better. He only insulted the other teachers. "Aren't you glad you'll never have to wonder how Mrs. O keeps Goodwill and St. Vinny's singlehandedly in business? She has to get all those eighties clothes somewhere. And if Mrs. C has a lock on the last remaining spandex factory? And where Mrs. M gets all her leopard-print? And you'll never have to listen to Mrs. T tell birthing stories, or listen to Mrs. R talk about sex, or wonder how many apples Ms. D can eat in one week. Or wonder how Coach A. can afford to get his head waxed every week on a teacher's salary. Or why Mrs. N is so cheerful all the time. Does she ever have a bad day? Don't we all wish we knew what she's on?"

The first teacher didn't talk about anyone else. He did talk about our parents having sex, though. "The beginning of wisdom is to know that just when you think you know everything, that's when you know nothing. It's like sex. You're, like, C team. Or T-ball! And your parents are varsity."

After the luncheon, the friend I was driving and I went back to the high school to say hi to the band classes, then I dropped her off and went home. After a couple hours, my family headed off to Central.

Now, this is the luck of EHS Class of 2008, the most screwed over class in the history of Ellensburg High School. Usually, graduation is held in Central's Nicholson Pavilian, in their gym. Well. This year they happen to be renovating the gym, so we're not really in luck there. So we had graduation outside, at Central's Tomlinson Stadium, a.k.a. the football field. In case of severe weather, we'd be in EHS's gym, but it's a lot smaller than Nicholson. Also, every other year, or at least every year I've been at EHS (and I've been to the past three graduations, since the band always plays) it's been great weather. Warm. Clear. Hot, even, one might say, as is appropriate in early June. Or late May, as it was last year due to a fucked up schedule. Note that I said "every other year."

Oh, yeah, it was raining. Ain't that great? Yeah, it was raining and we were in cap and gown marching out on the track. And the band couldn't play! I'm really bitter about this fact, because I've been in band for seven years, and I've played the past three graduations. I was really looking forward to my band playing my graduation, and they couldn't do it because of the rain. They were there, clearing all their gear off the track (not on the field; we were on the track), but they couldn't play Pomp and Circumstance and the National Anthem. That was recorded. And, you know, everyone marches out, tips their chairs back to get the rainwater off, sits down, listens to speeches, goes up to get their empty diploma case, and then -- turning of the tassel. But wait! There's more! Because Ellensburg is also very windy, most of the girls had their caps bobby-pinned on. (I also had my cap on backwards, but I managed to put it right sight forward.) As we all try and get the bobby pins out so we can throw our caps, someone else's cap hits me in the head and knocks my cap off. But at least the weather cleared up enough that the band could play the Fight Song! And then we all stand around in a crush hugging while being mobbed by parents. I got pictures with my friends, and then eventually found my family -- twenty minutes later. But I was looking everywhere for my band director and I couldn't find him.

Anyway. Went home, changed clothes -- third or fourth time that day. I wore a dress for the assembly and luncheon, then changed into jeans, then felt awkward about wearing jeans to graduation even if it was raining, so put on slacks and a nice shirt, then changed out of the shirt and put on a long-sleeved shirt, then after graduation I got back into jeans -- and drove off to the Senior Party. After, of course, masking taping a note to my steering wheel that says, "Check your lights, Bedlam!" because it's twice now I've left my lights on and had my battery die on me and since the party ended at 3:30 am, I didn't think my parents wanted to be woken up by me calling home and crying.

The party was awesome -- we got Italian sodas, and registered for the prize drawing (121 things! You can pick one if your name is drawn!), and looked at pictures of seniors from ages birth to seniorness. Then we had dinner -- there was a chocolate fountain, and I'm really bitter I didn't take more advantage of this -- and there was a comedian! He really was pretty funny, too. And going on in the background, Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and Star Wars IV at the same time. Fear my multi-tasking skills, guys, I knew what was going on at all times. And then my name got drawn and I got a $50 gift card to the local movie theatre, because there are some awesome movies coming out this summer and otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to afford to see them all. This means Narnia today and Indiana Jones tomorrow. There was more practical stuff too, but I think the $50 gift card was the best, because I really wanted it.

There was also a caricaturist. That was also pretty awesome, although I am highly amused by the fact I look as confused in my caricature as I do in ninety percent of all pictures taken of me. Then we had the Senior Slide Show, which was put together by the parent group, and was really cool -- pictures from birth onward of almost everyone. After this, we had a hypnotist, and this was great. I was crying I was laughing so much.

Now, early on, the hypnotist gave everyone this stack of napkins and told them it was five thousand dollars. He also told the boys to stick it down their pants and the girls to hide it anywhere else on their persons. After a couple other things, he told them that they had the most exotic cars ever. It gets hilarious when one of the guys, this big tough football and basketball player -- Joe -- says, completely straight-faced, "A Volkswagon." "...to pick up chicks with?" "No." "So you were going for exotic?" "Yeah." "Where'd you get it?" "My mom gave it to me." "...we're going to trick it out for you." "Awesome." And my friend Lauren: "I don't know anything about cars, but it's pretty." Then he told them he'd they'd just been pulled over for speeding at 120 and pretended to be a cop. One of the guys, Shay, was great.

SHAY: Is there a problem, officer? *smoky look*
HYPNOTIST: You were speeding.
SHAY: Really? How fast?
HYPNOTIST: 120 mph.
SHAY: *starts undoing his belt* I have some money.

And Meghan, before the hypnotist even says anything, "I know your daughter."

It was great. And then we had laser tag and Guitar Hero and suchlike for the next hour, before the end.

And now...high school is over. Except I have to go back and pick up my diploma. And send off my final transcript. (Which I was supposed to do, um, last week.) And say goodbye to my band director.

That said -- NO MORE HIGH SCHOOL!
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bedlamsbard: natasha romanoff from the black widow prelude comic (Default)
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