*facepalm*

[bedlamsbard]

I want to write girl!Peter/Caspian a really ridiculous amount. (The last time I wanted to write het this much, I ended up writing Into the Woods Baker/Cinderella fic. The time before that it was Beauty and the Beast Lumiere/Belle.) I don't even know why.

Well, okay, some of it would be the dialogue.

Scenario: There has been a minor cave-in in the How. Caspian and Peta are trapped in a cave for several hours. Peta's claustrophobia kicks in, and Caspian keeps her calm. Near the tail-end of this they start making out. Then Edmund and the rescue team break through.
Edmund: You know, we can come back later, if you're busy.
Peta: No, now is good. Now is excellent. *clambers out*
Caspian: *follows, a little disappointed*
Peta: *turns around and grabs the collar of Caspian's shirt* And you can come with me. *drags him down the tunnel to her room.*
Caspian: *grins like an idiot*
Edmund: Well, shit.

Caspian: I hope you're not offended that I, ah, took advantage of your sister...
Edmund: *hysterical laughter*

Peta: What do you mean, you asked Edmund? So long as he's not in my bed, he doesn't get a vote in who is.
Caspian: *chokes*

Caspian: *suffering from dreams of conjugal bliss* Marry me.
Peta: *hits him* Do you want to die a horrible messy death?
Caspian: What?
Peta: I'm going to assume history has forgotten how many of my fiances died instead of assuming you have a death wish.
Caspian: Maybe you just never met the right one?
Peta: Do you really want to bet your life on that?
Caspian: *grins wildly*
Peta: What? WHAT?
Caspian: You care.
Peta: I most certainly do not!
Caspian: You really care!
Peta: I --
Caspian: *kisses her*

Susan: I'm worried about Peta. She just seems --
Edmund: I really don't want to say this, but --
Susan: -- like she's not all here. I think Narnia's getting to her.
Edmund: She's like that every time she's having really great sex.
Susan and Lucy: ...
Edmmund: I said I didn't want say it.

Guys, I am SO ASHAMED. This is, like, the height of fantasy romance. All we're missing is a knight on a white horse, and that's only because Caspian's horse is black and the unicorn from LWW tragically died. Although I'm not sure a unicorn is what's really needed here...

Comments

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

HEE! *gleeful*


I told you there was no crack in genre fiction...you "threatened" me with genderswitch and NOW lookity here. You've set yourself up just fine with a character that is going to devour your brain until you write her up. *laughs*

It's like taking Peter and removing what few...I don't know what, morals? Scruples? Inhibitions?...that he has. Plus, an extra added dose of pretty!confusion to Caspian, that helps.

I'd think Caspian is less shadowed in this verse? Because the "duel conspiracy theory" wouldn't work here, for one thing.


Poor Edmund. *laughs*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping this is as written up as she's going to get. *scowls*

Because she's female, she and Caspian don't have the same rivalry going as Peter and Caspian, which, okay, plus side. And Caspian's even more confused, but at least he's getting laid. He's getting laid a lot.

Peta has needs, you see.

The duel conspiracy transfers from Caspian to Cornelius, I think.

(I, just, I want them to get married! And...actually, I think the idea of Peta or Peter with babies is terrifying, but I want a happily ever after! Because Peta in England is going to be even more of a wreck than Peter ever was.

I also kind of want to figure out how to put Peter and Peta in the same room together, but oh my god.)

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

I wonder...if Peta was pregnant when they went back through the wardrobe, what would happen to the babies...?


That's not helping, is it?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Evaporate into thin air, maybe?

(Through the wardrobe? Now, with the Door in the Air at the end of PC -- I'm tempted to say Narnia just wouldn't let her go through and Aslan would throw a fit.)

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

Re: Peter/Peta
Those magic woods with the pools to other worlds. One jumps into one of them and into the genderswitch world.

*IS MORE INTRIGUED BY LUMIERE/BELLE THAN I PROBABLY SHOULD BE*

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

If I recall correctly, that wardrobe *is* made from Narnian wood, right? So perhaps she could control it? ...except that would mean that ships made from her wood would also be under her control and that's...it's dead wood. DAMN!


Door in the Air-would she be able to close it, do you think? "Air" isn't really part of Narnia, for her to physically control it. In the movie, he used a tree as a frame for the door, so she *could* close that, but he didn't have to. *frowns*

Or just...make Peta (or Peter, at that) so overwhelmed with her fear/rage/possessiveness/protectiveness-emotional vertigo, and maybe the real thing- that she couldn't physically *go* through? It would probably backlash through Edmund, too. Susan and Lucy could *drag* their brothers through the door, I guess, to save face for Aslan (doesn't look good for deity to throw temper tantrums in front of the new pseudo-subjects)...

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

oh, you have NO IDEA how much I want to see this!

[franceica.livejournal.com]

OMG, now seeing you typed Peter/Peta, I am going to think them as a couple now. I am going crazy now, ain't I?! And this is never going to work, right? Peter/Peta *facepalm* I am so totally rotten.

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

I recently wrote Anna Popplewell/Susan Pevensie, so you're probably alright. This handbasket is big enough for the both of us.

[franceica.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, that is something intriguing! *scramble to my feet and go find your fic*
And I wonder would anybody write a Peter/William someday day? That sure completes the world.

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

Peter/Will is implied!: http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/59960.html#cutid2 [/shameless self-promotion

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

It doesn't look good for anyone if the High King keels over in front of the door in the air. (And good luck getting the Telmarines to go through after that!)

Now I'm thinking about pregnant!Peta and what would have happened if Rilian had been her son instead of Ramandu's daughter's. Somehow I kind of doubt she would have been out there with the ladies of the court to get stung to death by a giant snake. *rolls eyes* Although...if she's physically prevented from going back to England because she's pregnant, then waht happens to her in England? Does she just vanish? Do the other three hang around and go, "Well, shit, now what?" Or is time suspended until she does go back to England/dies in Narnia/God knows what? (In which case Voyage would be interesting: "Edmund, Lucy, my brother- and sister- in-law!" "OH MY GOD WHERE IS PETA? IS SHE HERE?" "She has a baby! I have a son!" "OH MY GOD.")

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I also kind of want to write Peter/Peta, but I have NO IDEA how that would work.

(Lumiere and Belle! I took the Disney musical and added depth, and also, Belle did not end up with the Beast, because the Beat spent the entire musical sulking, and who falls in love with someone like THAT?)

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

*fingers in ears* Not writing it! Not writing it! Except maybe the sex.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

yespleasethesex

*contemplates Peta tying Caspian up*

*contemplates Caspian tying PETA up*

*contemplates the useful attributes of cold showers*

[franceica.livejournal.com]

*reading*

That's such an awesome crack!fic.

*Left a comment over there*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

"You've done this before," Caspian says, breathless.

Peta puts her palm down on his abdomen. "Oh, once or twice," she says, and takes her hand away, leaving him alone and helpless. He turns his head from side to side, trying to hear her, but Peta is utterly silent. She might have left the room entirely -- and then her warm mouth closes over his cock.

*is so, so ashamed*

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Um.

*looks distracted now*

HOT.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

PS: FYI, the master list is here

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

By skipping having to explain vortexes and magical portals and just going straight to the part where they're making out and getting it on and Peter thinks she tastes almost familiar, but he can't quite place it. Something about her gasps and her eyes and the way she says things. But maybe he doesn't think too hard because Peter knows all about losing himself in the moment, and he thinks maybe this girl does too.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* And this was supposed to be my gen, non-crack fandom, too. Gee, Bedlam, where did THAT concept go?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Oooh!

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

So, seedy sex in the back of a bar in some godawful corner of the world at war, Peter in his RAF uniform, Peta in trousers like a man with one gun and two knives that Peter can place without looking closer. Peter goes down on his knees for her like he hasn't for anyone in years -- he hasn't wanted a woman in years -- and her taste is familiar on his mouth. Narnia, he thinks absurdly, but that's utterly impossible. He thinks he'd remember meeting this girl before. She tugs on his hair and urges him on, words falling from her mouth in a slipstream of languages, and after she comes, arching off the dirty words and swearing under her breath, she pulls him to his feet and kisses him, seemingly undaunted by her own taste on his tongue.

"I've got a hotel room," she says, and then stops and says it again, shaking her head slightly. He doesn't understand why she says it twice -- he heard her the first time.

"Do you havve a name?" he asks as she does up her trousers.

"Not tonight," she says.

"Then neither do I."

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

It went the way of Peta's breeches, obviously!

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

:D