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bedlamsbard*bites lip* And now I feel like I may have actually made things worse, as Chicago has decided she is overreacting, despite the fact that she asked me to ask the Internet.
The thing I don't get is that Chicago is (a) a gender and sexuality studies major and (b) was on the rape crisis hotline last year and (c) has been involved in the Vagina Monologues for two years and (d) is on Student Conduct Board and (e) if it was me or someone else in the suite, I'm pretty sure she'd be telling me the exact same thing I am telling her. I just -- GAH. This has been going on and off all year; when they were actually dating I was pretty sure this was a bad idea and she was going to end up raped and murdered. And they've, like -- they haven't actually interacted much in person, from what I know. They have met a couple of times, but most of what's gone on has been via text, and just --
I feel like if she took this to any of the GESS professors or advisors at Tulane (and we know all of them), they would be just as worried. And I honestly can't believe -- well, I can, but -- that she's more worried about her parents finding out than she is about getting hurt.
I don't know, maybe I am freaking out more than I should, but -- I don't think I am. I mean -- I really don't want her to get hurt, and horrible stuff happens to women all the time, and just -- argh, some of the things she's said re: the Joe problem, and "Oh, if I text him to fuck off, then the police will think I deserved it, so I'm going to keep being polite and hope he gets the message" and --
This is not on. This is not right. I don't -- I don't know what to do.
She thinks she can't call a hotline or a help group because "it's not real domestic violence" and "they're too busy."
AT&T also said that she can't block his number without paying extra or getting a new phone number, and for either of those she has to tell her parents. Going to the police in her hometown will end in her parents being told, apparently, because it's one of those towns where everyone knows each other. She says it's not important because she's not in Chicago/Hometown (DuPage County) very much anyway. (And she's going abroad next year.)
And now the rest of the suite also thinks I'm overreacting.
The thing I don't get is that Chicago is (a) a gender and sexuality studies major and (b) was on the rape crisis hotline last year and (c) has been involved in the Vagina Monologues for two years and (d) is on Student Conduct Board and (e) if it was me or someone else in the suite, I'm pretty sure she'd be telling me the exact same thing I am telling her. I just -- GAH. This has been going on and off all year; when they were actually dating I was pretty sure this was a bad idea and she was going to end up raped and murdered. And they've, like -- they haven't actually interacted much in person, from what I know. They have met a couple of times, but most of what's gone on has been via text, and just --
I feel like if she took this to any of the GESS professors or advisors at Tulane (and we know all of them), they would be just as worried. And I honestly can't believe -- well, I can, but -- that she's more worried about her parents finding out than she is about getting hurt.
I don't know, maybe I am freaking out more than I should, but -- I don't think I am. I mean -- I really don't want her to get hurt, and horrible stuff happens to women all the time, and just -- argh, some of the things she's said re: the Joe problem, and "Oh, if I text him to fuck off, then the police will think I deserved it, so I'm going to keep being polite and hope he gets the message" and --
This is not on. This is not right. I don't -- I don't know what to do.
She thinks she can't call a hotline or a help group because "it's not real domestic violence" and "they're too busy."
AT&T also said that she can't block his number without paying extra or getting a new phone number, and for either of those she has to tell her parents. Going to the police in her hometown will end in her parents being told, apparently, because it's one of those towns where everyone knows each other. She says it's not important because she's not in Chicago/Hometown (DuPage County) very much anyway. (And she's going abroad next year.)
And now the rest of the suite also thinks I'm overreacting.