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bedlamsbardFandom: Harry Potter
Title: Remember This
Characters: James Potter/Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Separation Anxiety
Word Count: 905
Spoilers: Prisoner of Azkaban
Warnings: Slight adultery
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: They may not see each other for weeks, months, years even -- however long it takes Dumbledore to track You-Know-Who down and kill the bastard.
James stares at Sirius like he’s memorizing his face. Which he is, maybe – Sirius can’t deny that he’s been doing the same thing since he walked into the room. They may not see each other for weeks, months, years even – however long it takes Dumbledore to track down You-Know-Who and kill the bastard.
“I don’t want to switch,” James says for the fourth or fifth time. “I trust you.”
“I know that,” Sirius snaps, mentally cataloguing each word James says. This and this and this…. Just in case he never sees his best friend again. Which isn’t going to happen. “And Dumbledore knows that, and You-Know-Who knows that, and the spy knows that, and all of Britain knows that. Everyone knows that. Everyone will think you’ve used me, and they’ll go after me…” He stares at James and breathes the last few words in a whisper. “And you’ll be safe.”
“I don’t care –” James begins, and Sirius has to resist the desperate, painful urge to slap him.
“You have to care!” he says. “Because it’s not just you, it’s Harry and Lily…”
James looks at him, hazel eyes wide and doleful behind the round frames of his glasses. “Yes,” he says finally. “I know. But, Sirius, I don’t – I want –”
“I want you to live,” Sirius says, grabbing the front of his robes. “I want you to come out of hiding and – and visit me in St. Mungo’s with Harry and I want to see Harry grow up and go to Hogwarts and play for Gryffindor and Goddamnit, James Potter, I want you, so you’re going to listen to me this once and use Peter because – because I told you to and –”
“Are you going to listen to a word I say?” James asks, large hands splaying across Sirius’s hips.
Sirius shakes his head frantically, overlong hair flying around his face. He has to get it cut soon. “No,” he says. “Not today.”
“You never do.”
“Sometimes,” Sirius whispers, and his voice cracks on the second syllable. “James…” he breathes. “James, please…”
“All right,” he says heavily. “All right, Padfoot, I’ll do it, but I don’t want – I don’t want you to – not for nothing, Black.”
“It won’t be for nothing,” Sirius says. “It’ll be for you.”
They’re both silent, staring at each other, then all of a sudden James is pushing Sirius up against the wall, kissing him hard, and Sirius tangles his hands in the black mess of James’s hair, feeling the lines of James’s skull beneath his fingers and memorizing each touch. This and this and this… James digs his fingers into Sirius’s hips, lifting him an inch or so off the floor, and Sirius wraps his legs around James’s ankles, feeling his best friend’s hands leaving bruises on his hips.
It’s desperate and messy, last chances and no looks back. James’s glasses press awkwardly between them and Sirius ignores that, even though they’re digging painfully into the bridge of his nose. James is shoving him back harder and harder against the wall and they’re both clawing at each other, leaving marks beneath their robes and hoping they’ll scar. They’re practically trying to crawl into each other, meld into one, breathe the same air and never be apart again. James digs his teeth into the curve of Sirius’s jawbone and Sirius gasps, hisses up against James's cheekbone and fogging up the lens of his glasses. All he wants is to lob an Imperturbable Charm at the door and have an hour, just an hour, alone with James and then he’ll let James go – just an hour –
Someone knocks on the door. “Go away!” James yells, voice breathless and rasping over the words.
“James – Sirius – it’s Peter, Lily says we have to go now, she just got an owl from Dumbledore –”
“No…” Sirius whispers against James’s face. “Prongs…”
“Just – just a minute, tell her just a minute!” James barks and then turns back to Sirius. “Sirius,” he says and for the first time in his life is wordless. “I –”
Sirius starts to pull away. “Go to your wife,” he says dully. “Go and – go to your wife and your son, James, I’ll –”
James wraps a hand around the back of his neck and kisses him hard. It’s silent this time, each one memorizing the taste of the other, and then, very reluctantly, they pull away.
“I love you,” Sirius whispers. “And – and I’ll see you soon. Dumbledore will kill You-Know-Who – Voldemort,” he corrects himself, sudden fearlessness, because the bastard’s already taken two of his best friends (and his brother) from him and what the hell else can he do, anyway? “He’ll kill Voldemort and then we’ll laugh at this and –” He lets the words trail off.
James regards him for a moment, then brushes his lips across his forehead in something that’s almost a blessing. “I’ll see you soon,” he says, and then in a low voice that’s probably not supposed to be heard, “I love you.”
Sirius takes a deep breath. “Tell Harry – tell him about – about the –” He doesn’t know what to say.
“I’ll tell him his godfather loves him,” James says and for the last time, hazel eyes meet gray ones, then James nods once and walks away, opening the door with a flick of his wand.
Sirius watches his back recede down the hall. “I love you,” he whispers, fingers brushing across his lips.
ETA:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
psych_30, not ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
psycho_30. No, Bedlam, no.
Title: Remember This
Characters: James Potter/Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Separation Anxiety
Word Count: 905
Spoilers: Prisoner of Azkaban
Warnings: Slight adultery
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: They may not see each other for weeks, months, years even -- however long it takes Dumbledore to track You-Know-Who down and kill the bastard.
James stares at Sirius like he’s memorizing his face. Which he is, maybe – Sirius can’t deny that he’s been doing the same thing since he walked into the room. They may not see each other for weeks, months, years even – however long it takes Dumbledore to track down You-Know-Who and kill the bastard.
“I don’t want to switch,” James says for the fourth or fifth time. “I trust you.”
“I know that,” Sirius snaps, mentally cataloguing each word James says. This and this and this…. Just in case he never sees his best friend again. Which isn’t going to happen. “And Dumbledore knows that, and You-Know-Who knows that, and the spy knows that, and all of Britain knows that. Everyone knows that. Everyone will think you’ve used me, and they’ll go after me…” He stares at James and breathes the last few words in a whisper. “And you’ll be safe.”
“I don’t care –” James begins, and Sirius has to resist the desperate, painful urge to slap him.
“You have to care!” he says. “Because it’s not just you, it’s Harry and Lily…”
James looks at him, hazel eyes wide and doleful behind the round frames of his glasses. “Yes,” he says finally. “I know. But, Sirius, I don’t – I want –”
“I want you to live,” Sirius says, grabbing the front of his robes. “I want you to come out of hiding and – and visit me in St. Mungo’s with Harry and I want to see Harry grow up and go to Hogwarts and play for Gryffindor and Goddamnit, James Potter, I want you, so you’re going to listen to me this once and use Peter because – because I told you to and –”
“Are you going to listen to a word I say?” James asks, large hands splaying across Sirius’s hips.
Sirius shakes his head frantically, overlong hair flying around his face. He has to get it cut soon. “No,” he says. “Not today.”
“You never do.”
“Sometimes,” Sirius whispers, and his voice cracks on the second syllable. “James…” he breathes. “James, please…”
“All right,” he says heavily. “All right, Padfoot, I’ll do it, but I don’t want – I don’t want you to – not for nothing, Black.”
“It won’t be for nothing,” Sirius says. “It’ll be for you.”
They’re both silent, staring at each other, then all of a sudden James is pushing Sirius up against the wall, kissing him hard, and Sirius tangles his hands in the black mess of James’s hair, feeling the lines of James’s skull beneath his fingers and memorizing each touch. This and this and this… James digs his fingers into Sirius’s hips, lifting him an inch or so off the floor, and Sirius wraps his legs around James’s ankles, feeling his best friend’s hands leaving bruises on his hips.
It’s desperate and messy, last chances and no looks back. James’s glasses press awkwardly between them and Sirius ignores that, even though they’re digging painfully into the bridge of his nose. James is shoving him back harder and harder against the wall and they’re both clawing at each other, leaving marks beneath their robes and hoping they’ll scar. They’re practically trying to crawl into each other, meld into one, breathe the same air and never be apart again. James digs his teeth into the curve of Sirius’s jawbone and Sirius gasps, hisses up against James's cheekbone and fogging up the lens of his glasses. All he wants is to lob an Imperturbable Charm at the door and have an hour, just an hour, alone with James and then he’ll let James go – just an hour –
Someone knocks on the door. “Go away!” James yells, voice breathless and rasping over the words.
“James – Sirius – it’s Peter, Lily says we have to go now, she just got an owl from Dumbledore –”
“No…” Sirius whispers against James’s face. “Prongs…”
“Just – just a minute, tell her just a minute!” James barks and then turns back to Sirius. “Sirius,” he says and for the first time in his life is wordless. “I –”
Sirius starts to pull away. “Go to your wife,” he says dully. “Go and – go to your wife and your son, James, I’ll –”
James wraps a hand around the back of his neck and kisses him hard. It’s silent this time, each one memorizing the taste of the other, and then, very reluctantly, they pull away.
“I love you,” Sirius whispers. “And – and I’ll see you soon. Dumbledore will kill You-Know-Who – Voldemort,” he corrects himself, sudden fearlessness, because the bastard’s already taken two of his best friends (and his brother) from him and what the hell else can he do, anyway? “He’ll kill Voldemort and then we’ll laugh at this and –” He lets the words trail off.
James regards him for a moment, then brushes his lips across his forehead in something that’s almost a blessing. “I’ll see you soon,” he says, and then in a low voice that’s probably not supposed to be heard, “I love you.”
Sirius takes a deep breath. “Tell Harry – tell him about – about the –” He doesn’t know what to say.
“I’ll tell him his godfather loves him,” James says and for the last time, hazel eyes meet gray ones, then James nods once and walks away, opening the door with a flick of his wand.
Sirius watches his back recede down the hall. “I love you,” he whispers, fingers brushing across his lips.
ETA:
psych_30, not psycho_30. No, Bedlam, no.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-14 11:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-15 12:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-15 09:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-15 12:08 pm (UTC)Guh, that was deeply distressing. But in a good way. Really wonderfully done.
It's all so tragic and awful and... argh!
from hogwarts_today
Date: 2006-04-15 05:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-16 05:24 pm (UTC)*sniffle*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-16 09:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-16 09:28 pm (UTC)It is tragic, because we know what's going to happen, which is the worst part, I think.
Re: from hogwarts_today
Date: 2006-04-16 09:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-16 09:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-17 08:43 am (UTC)I heart you.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-17 11:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-18 07:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-18 11:54 pm (UTC)via hogwarts_today
Date: 2006-04-20 02:59 pm (UTC)Re: via hogwarts_today
Date: 2006-04-20 11:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-23 04:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 01:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-06 04:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-07 02:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-23 05:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-23 05:14 am (UTC)Also, thank you.