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same old, same old
Nov. 1st, 2012 05:29 pmLooking at graduate schools -- for the PhD this time -- is just depressing, especially since I've got several problems:
(1) I'm not entirely sure what I want to do. My plan was to do my MA in Archaeology of the Roman World and then do a PhD in early modern history, but I'm reminded that I really, really do like ancient history and the classical world. However, I still don't think I'm qualified to get into a classics program in the U.S. (languages) and I'm not sure I want to be in one, because: elitist. I could do ancient history, but my classics department screwed me up enough that that feels like a cop-out, plus it could impact my job chances. (Although my other option is to do Renaissance Studies, and I keep getting warned off that because it could impact my job chances.)
(2) My MA program ends pretty late -- middle of September. The PhD program I really want to get into, history at Tulane, starts at the end of August, and my course director here doesn't think I should shave three weeks off my dissertation writing in order to do that. Plus, I don't know if Tulane, or any PhD program actually, will take me if I don't have the degree awarded yet. (I could e-mail the department secretary about this, I guess. I should also meet with my course director to talk about my plans after finishing my degree, since he might have some advice.) I don't really want to take a year off, and while some programs will take spring admission, Tulane doesn't. On the other hand, if I go straight ahead, I basically get no break between finishing the dissertation and going straight into a PhD program. On the other other hand (foot?), I don't know how I'd go about finding something to do for a year, even with a MA, since we keep getting told that we at least need a PhD to do anything in the field.
(3) I keep considering, on and off, trying to stay in the UK (possibly at Leicester) for the PhD, but I got told over and over again in undergrad not to do that, because the format for the British PhD is so different than the American one, so it's much harder to get hired if you want to teach in the U.S. Also I'm not sure about funding, and also I don't really want to deal with another three years of English weather. (Shut up, there's a reason I'm mostly looking at universities in the South, aside from Renaissance Studies at Yale.) Also the visa was enough of a hassle the first time 'round.
And now I am tired, but at least I thought about it. Except I thought about it, and then I looked at classics grad programs, and then I remembered one of the reasons I had my nervous breakdown last year. I know that I'm working towards an MA in a classics-related field. I don't feel anymore qualified than I did when I was working towards a BA in classics. In fact I feel less qualified because I've forgotten a lot of Greek and Latin. So that's depressing as all fuck. Like, in a year I will (praise all gods) have a master's degree and right now I feel like my ilfe's just -- in holding. I don't know. This is exhausting.
Also I have picked up a nervous twitch in my left eye that's going strong on day four. Thanks, universe.
(1) I'm not entirely sure what I want to do. My plan was to do my MA in Archaeology of the Roman World and then do a PhD in early modern history, but I'm reminded that I really, really do like ancient history and the classical world. However, I still don't think I'm qualified to get into a classics program in the U.S. (languages) and I'm not sure I want to be in one, because: elitist. I could do ancient history, but my classics department screwed me up enough that that feels like a cop-out, plus it could impact my job chances. (Although my other option is to do Renaissance Studies, and I keep getting warned off that because it could impact my job chances.)
(2) My MA program ends pretty late -- middle of September. The PhD program I really want to get into, history at Tulane, starts at the end of August, and my course director here doesn't think I should shave three weeks off my dissertation writing in order to do that. Plus, I don't know if Tulane, or any PhD program actually, will take me if I don't have the degree awarded yet. (I could e-mail the department secretary about this, I guess. I should also meet with my course director to talk about my plans after finishing my degree, since he might have some advice.) I don't really want to take a year off, and while some programs will take spring admission, Tulane doesn't. On the other hand, if I go straight ahead, I basically get no break between finishing the dissertation and going straight into a PhD program. On the other other hand (foot?), I don't know how I'd go about finding something to do for a year, even with a MA, since we keep getting told that we at least need a PhD to do anything in the field.
(3) I keep considering, on and off, trying to stay in the UK (possibly at Leicester) for the PhD, but I got told over and over again in undergrad not to do that, because the format for the British PhD is so different than the American one, so it's much harder to get hired if you want to teach in the U.S. Also I'm not sure about funding, and also I don't really want to deal with another three years of English weather. (Shut up, there's a reason I'm mostly looking at universities in the South, aside from Renaissance Studies at Yale.) Also the visa was enough of a hassle the first time 'round.
And now I am tired, but at least I thought about it. Except I thought about it, and then I looked at classics grad programs, and then I remembered one of the reasons I had my nervous breakdown last year. I know that I'm working towards an MA in a classics-related field. I don't feel anymore qualified than I did when I was working towards a BA in classics. In fact I feel less qualified because I've forgotten a lot of Greek and Latin. So that's depressing as all fuck. Like, in a year I will (praise all gods) have a master's degree and right now I feel like my ilfe's just -- in holding. I don't know. This is exhausting.
Also I have picked up a nervous twitch in my left eye that's going strong on day four. Thanks, universe.