sorry, is my stress showing?

[bedlamsbard]

So, my novel is taking over my life. I'm eating, sleeping, and breathing Spaceforce. All my reading is research. My free time should be homework or, you know, getting the last pieces of my college applications in, but instead it's...um, well, it should be noveling, but it's mostly me staring at the computer/television holding a pencil and the shards of my broken brain.

I keep going, "Wait! Do these colleges require mid-year reports? Should I just send them anyway? Oh my God, why can't your website be clearer? And why am I watching Big Brother 9: 'Til Death Do We Part? Where have all my braincells gone? God, my teeth hurt. I can't believe I have to get the upper set of braces in April. God damn it, not only am I not doing orchestra this quarter because I'm missing both concerts to go to New Orleans to visit Tulane, there's also a chance I might miss the State basketball tournament. God fucking damn it, now the Embry-Riddle accepted student preview day is on the same day as the CBC jazz band competition, which I cannot miss. Oh my God, what the hell am I doing with my novel? Hey, look, a book about American nurses caught in Bataan during WWII. That looks kind of relevant. We're studying my least favorite subject in AP Lit to see if I'll literally have a rage blackout and kill either myself or the book, aren't we? Because there is no such thing as literary fiction and commercial fiction; it's a false divide amd it does not exist."

Sorry, is my stress showing?

That said, I have read the following books strictly for novel-related research purposes: one (1) book on the Civil War (Stealing the General: The Great Locomotive Chase and the First Medal of Honor), one (1) book on the Iraq War (From Baghdad, With Love: A Marine, the War, and a Dog Named Lava), and one (1) book on the Navy SEALs (Lone Survivor: The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10).

The following books are home for me from the library and on my to-read list:
House to House: An Epic Memoir of War
In The Company of Heroes
We Band of Angels: The Untold Story of American Nurses Trapped on Bataan by the Japanese
Power, Faith, and Fantasy: America in the Middle East: 1776 to the Present

Plus a bunch more that I went through the library and pinpointed to check out as soon as I finished reading the ones I have. Yes, because there's nothing better than doing a year's worth of research at the last minute. I feel this is a valuable life lesson for college.

Homework? What homework? I have to graduate high school, you know, I don't have time for homework.

I need an icon that says "High school has killed my GPA." Or "Senior Project has killed my GPA." Or "High school destroyed my dreams." I don't know. Clearly I'm not thinking straight or something.

Comments

[limmenel.livejournal.com]

Most universities do require mid-year reports, but often they'll request them if they need them, since a lot of times those reports aren't available until after deadlines. You can always call or email the admin offices and just say "Hi, wanted to know if...?" and they'll let you know for sure. My theory is, if your grades were really awesome last semester, go ahead and send the report, it can only help. Otherwise, wait until they request it.

With the Embry thing, there's a chance they'll have an alternate day set up, just for cases like yours where students cannot make the preview day.

What are you reading for AP Lit?

Does the novel have to be perfectly accurate when you submit it? Or are you just one of those people who has to write every detail as they go, and can't come back to it later? (Not that that's a bad thing, cause I'm totally like that :D It makes term papers hellish sometimes, if I don't have a source in front of me when I want it).

Good luck. Only a couple more months, and then VACATION and relaxation where all you'll have to worry about is buying new sheets for your dorm bed. Good times. Hang in there ♥

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I am just sending it everywhere that took the Common App, which is nine out of my ten schools.

I am VERY DEPRESSED about this fact, though, because I got all psyched for it. God DAMN it.

Things that make me want to claw my brain out. Um, right now we're doing short stories, but the intro we had was all about the "differences" between so-called "literary" and "commercial" fiction, which I don't believe in. It's the one thing I hate most in the world.

No, and it's not going to be, but I at least need a complete draft, which I do not have. God damn it. I wrote scenes out of order, from various viewpoint characters; I now need to figure out how to weave them together to form a cohesive story. In two weeks.

I have sheets for my dorm bed! I had to get them for Brown. They are green. Oh, vacation. Oh, I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled in June. At least I'm graduating first. (Or at least, I damn well better be, because there's no way in hell I'm getting my wisdom teeth pulled before graduation. Hi, I'd like to be conscious when I get my diploma, or at the very least, not high on vicodin.)