appaloosa

[bedlamsbard]

Trailer here.

...suddenly I want to write that wild west Narnia AU. lassiterfics knows what I'm talking about.

Sheriff Peter Pevensie, the Civil War vet, and his brother and deputy Edmund, who occasionally moonlights as a professional poker player, Susan, who owns the local saloon, Cair Paravel, and keeps a rifle behind the bar, Lucy, who works as a trailhand, tracker, and translator with the Indians...Miraz, the railroad baron, his nephew Caspian, whose parents have just been killed in New York and who's come to the town of Narnia to ostensibly take over his family's railroad business...

Crack. But wouldn't it be fun?

(And I know how it ends! I just don't know the beginning or middle. *cough* Because I am me, and that means crazy.)

Comments

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

AND THEN HE'S LIKE, "I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU."

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

WHICH ONE?

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

i left it unspecified on purpose because i couldn't decide which one! :-O
and miraz totally had a hand in caspian's parents' death, right?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

ALL OF THEM. *cough* I always wanted to write a western. I could make it an original!

Miraz totally had a hand in Caspian's parents death, and now he's all, "What? My nephew was supposed to stay at Yale! Why is he here? Great, now I have to kill him in person."

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

and after a string of suspicious accidents in which caspian nearly loses his life, peter gets ticked off because he has little love for caspian and even less for miraz, but he'll try to preserve justice best as he can in narnia, but these two city slickers make it so gold-durned difficult.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

And Miraz has it out for Peter, of course, because Peter's making his life difficult, and there is a lot of confrontation where Peter and Miraz make Caspian choose sides!

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

"i can't quit you" #1 comes out from caspian! susan rolls her eyes and edmund buries his face with his hands and sighs.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

And he's talking to Peter! Who promptly leaves to shoot prairie dogs.

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

shoot prairie dogs often do you, peter? good thing the animals in the old west here can't talk! well, usually, depending on how much peyote you've had, and edmund doesn't like to talk about THAT often. (lucy never lets him forget it though.)

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

And then Miraz throws Peter's war record in his face...huh, do you think Edmund followed him, or that Peter and Papa Pevensie were the only ones fighting in the war? If Peter was old enough, Edmund would probably have been.

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

well, who's going to take care of the women? although lucy and susan are like, "we don't need you to take care of us." just imagine all the fun to be had with ed, su, and lucy playing poker and drinking whiskey late into the night in the kitchen of their little house. edmund teaches them a couple (but not all) of his poker tricks, and has belching contests with lucy while susan tells them that isn't proper behavior.

and lucy's like, "oh, this coming from a woman who threatens bandits at riflepoint and carries a knife in her garters, telling me how to be a lady. what world, huh, ed?"

"sure is a crazy world," edmund agrees, and lays down his cards. "flush."

lucy smacks her cards down on the table. "flush! with KINGS."

susan, with a delicate smile and a graceful flourish, displays her hand. "full house."

lucy groans, ed tries not to smile, and susan adds, "looks like you two are mucking out the stables tomorrow."

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

And then Peter storms in late, tracking mud all over the floor, and hangs up his coat and snarls, "I thought I had a deputy to take care of the late night calls."

"But I waited up for you, Pete," Edmund tells him earnestly. "And there's whiskey."

"There's good whiskey," Susan corrects. "Although of course I should give you Mr. Beaver's moonshine because you're not a paying customer."

"Except for --" Peter protests.

"You are going to clean up that mess you just made," Susan says swiftly.

Lucy's sneaking looks at the cards while the others are distracted. Without looking up, she says, "Peter did throw out the Calormen brothers that time."

"Out my window," Susan corrects ominously, and Peter hugs her and sweeps off before she can say anything more.

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

CALORMEN BROTHERS ajfdsakf'kfl;d;' well that's what happens when you insistently court susan and she isn't feeling any of it. don't mess with the sheriff's sister, man! bad news! not 'cos peter will kick your ass, but 'cos she will too, and her younger sister and brother will join in for the fun of it.

also THE GOLD RUSH.

lucy and her dancing trees and connection to nature, kind of related to peyote consumption. y/n?

depending on the year, caspian can be indignant about the exploitation of railroad workers and (mis)quotes marx and engels at miraz, who just kind of rolls his eyes and is like, "all that fancy yale education and the boy doesn't know how to make money." and then miraz is like, *PLOTS*.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Poor Lucy, complains that she never gets flirted with by the men of Narnia, because they all look at her as one of the guys...but she has a couple of hot flings from her trailhand days, and a few Indian lovers, and some guys in other towns.

And then Caspian and Peter fight, and Caspian throws his education in Peter's face, and Peter snaps back that he was too busy fighting in the war to go to college, and did Caspian's father buy his way out of the army? And Caspian goes very quiet because Caspian Sr. did, of course.

[lyamainu.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I'd read!

Sooo.... we have Peta-verese, Golden Age-verse, Old timber new fire (or new timber old fire?) verse, spy!Susan/resurected!Peter verse.... and sheriff!Peter verse.

Did I forget any?

the incriminating evidence

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

READ HERE

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Warsverse is Golden Age and PC (Old Timber to New Fires is part of that), immortal!Susan and resurrected!Peter are the same 'verse (along with the, uh, Batman crossover), Petaverse is...uh, Petaverse is Petaverse, sheriff!Peter is the Wild West AU, and I think that's more or less it.

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

SUP CRACKHEAD

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

*whimpers*

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

*sprinkles more crack in your food when your back is turned*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can add more crack at this point.

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

I fully support this bunny. :feeds it baccy, beans and aall the bad whisky it can take:

Hmm. Can we have Tumnus as one of the Indians?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I think Tumnus once worked for the White Witch when she ran Narnia. And then repented, a little bit.

[swift-tales.livejournal.com]

That would be so much fun! I love the fact that Susan has a rifle behind the bar and that Edmund moonlights as a professional poker player! They kick ass!

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

As lassiterfics points out, there is, uh, textual evidence up above.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

...you *know* there'd have to be a cathouse, upstairs at the saloon, right...? They rent rooms, as well as people! *grins*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Susan's a madam? Or is Miraz trying to muscle in on that territory...

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

I suspect Susan would run the place as a way for women to be independent and earn their own way in a rough place-give them a refuge and get their loyalty and supportive network in return. Just think what kind of info those gals could pick up while they're bathing, grooming, feeding, and otherwise "tending" to their customers' needs...and lo, the sheriff and his deputy, who just happen to be her brothers, swing by for a report or two that help capture the outlaw scum they've been hunting for lo, these many months! *beams*

Yes, Miraz is trying to horn in on the action. But he's too greedy, cruel, and backstabbing to build a very good support base, I'm sure.

*thinks of the Wild Wild West tv show with Robert Conrad and the Jackie Chan western, crap, can't remember its name*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

*considers* I think Peter and Edmund and Lucy when she's in town live above the saloon, and Edmund's known to occasionally indulge in the goods, but he's nice, so it's not that big a deal, but Peter never does.

Oh, the things Miraz knows and wants... Peter's war record, for one.