FINALLY

Nov. 11th, 2008 03:14 pm
bedlamsbard: natasha romanoff from the black widow prelude comic (ain't got nothin' on me (daydreamgraphix)
[personal profile] bedlamsbard
Excellent, we have reached the point where the next 23K of Be Like Water can be Peta and Caspian gettin' it on.

Oh, and then I suppose there will be some plot stuff with the war and the siege and the duel and Cornelius and Miraz and Aslan not showing up. But, you know. Mostly the sex.

You know what's funny? Part one of Water is formatted like a movie (or at least it is to me; y'all may think differently once you see it): short and to the point, with lots of sex and action in the middle. Dust, on the other hand, is formatted like a novel (again: to me; y'all may think differently).

This is funny because in some ways they're essentially the same story, if you replace the Telmarines with the Calormenes. Except Dust is more complex. And has less sex.

There is a possibility I'm not thinking clearly right now.



Peta laughs. “Now that’s funny,” she says. “I suppose you weren’t expecting us to show up, then.”

“Not until Trufflehunter and Nikabrik began dragging me all over the western wood to meet creatures I’d never even heard of,” Caspian says. “After that, well – at least you were supposed to be human, by every legend I’d ever heard, Narnian or Telmarine.”

“Yes,” Peta says. “There is that, at least.” She sounds amused rather than offended, and puts her head back down on Caspian’s shoulder, reaching out with one hand to wrap her fingers around his. “Did I say thank you for what you did the night we attacked the Telmarine camp?”

“I think it was implied,” Caspian says.

“Thank you, then,” Peta says, and then lets go of his hand. Caspian doesn’t understand why until she curls her fingers in his hair and turns his face towards hers.

She kisses him for a long time, shifting until she’s straddling his lap, and Caspian hears himself make an inordinate sound of want as he drags his hands up Peta’s back, feeling the knobs of her spine beneath the fabric of her shirt. “Yes,” she whispers against his mouth. “Like that, do that –” and then lets go of him to pull her shirt off over her head, unbuckling her sword-belt and tossing it aside before settling back against him to kiss him again.

Caspian splays his hands out across her back, her skin warm and smooth beneath his palms, and Peta twists in his lap, making him gasp. “I always did think darkness was overrated,” she murmurs, reaching for the laces on his shirt. “I’d love to see your face right now.”

“May I –” Caspian begins, not even sure what he’s asking, and Peta says, “Yes, god, yes,” and drags his shirt up over his head.



ETA: Be Like Water is now officially longer than Dust, although Dust would be longer if I counted all the scenes I've cut (three different versions of chapter 3, one of chapter 4, one of chapter 5...really some days it gets ridiculous).

Also, Caspian and Peta? Just got themselves laid.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
28,437 / 50,000
(56.9%)


And yes, I did just change all but two of my icons. Now we have Peta! A.k.a. Scarlett Johansson.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lassiterfics.livejournal.com
And has less sex.

LIES

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-11 11:23 pm (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
all right, possibly has more sex, just with different people. and it's all implied.

wait. less sex because i split everyone up!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 12:39 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
*stares*

mmm... peta/caspian. JUST what I needed to console me for the Academic Shit which has been going down...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 12:45 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
oh no! *offers the next part of the scene*
He cups her breasts in his hands, pinioned by soft, unfamiliar fabric, and Peta says, “There’s a catch at the back –” her breath hitching as he rubs his thumb over her left nipple.

He finds the catch and unhooks it after a moment’s fumbling, tossing the bit of fabric aside, and kisses his way from Peta’s mouth down her neck to the slope of her breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth.

Caspian,” she says, sharp and desperate, with a keening note in her voice. Her breath hitches. “God –” She cups the back of his skull in one hand, and Caspian moves his mouth to her other breast, curling his fingers in the back of her breeches.

Peta, her hands wrapped in his hair, pulls his head up so she can kiss him again. Caspian gets one hand around her braid, hissing a little as their teeth knock together messily.

“Is this a bad time?” King Edmund asks suddenly as a chunk of the wall vanishes behind them, replaced by the sudden gleam of torchlight. “Because we can come back.”

Caspian hears the panicked sound he makes in the back of his hand as Peta grabs for her shirt and pulls it on, her voice muffled through the fabric as she says, “No, now is good. Now is excellent.”

“Really?” Edmund says blandly. “Because really, we can come back.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Peta snaps, bundling up her sword-belt around the scabbard as Caspian finds his shirt and pulls it on, hoping it’s still sufficiently dark enough to hide his blush.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 12:49 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
Yeah... final deadlines for hons. coursework getting moved around on me like they're chess pieces.


*beams* it's THAT scene, is it? It's greatly improved second time around...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:02 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
Oh, man, I hate that. Good luck!


Although I should rewrite the preceding scene, because it kind of sucks. *faces*

The next bit, though, is all porn. Well, okay, I admit that before that there's some Edmund.
Edmund steps back to give them room to climb out, grinning unashamedly at his sister as Peta hits him upside the head. “What took you so long?” she gripes. “Really, I think you could have come sooner.”

“Yeah, I was working on that,” Edmund says, then pulls Peta into a tight hug. “Sorry,” he whispers into her hair as Caspian stands awkwardly still, trying to ignore the knowing looks of the moles and dwarves standing around. “Came as fast as I could. Though,” he adds as she pulls away, “it did look like you might have been happy to wait a little longer –”

“Oh, shut up,” Peta says, and turns to the watching Narnians. “Thank you,” she says, and her smile is blinding. “As for you,” she adds, turning to Caspian and catching the front of his shirt in her fist. “You can come with me.”

He can’t hide his grin.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:06 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
Edmund, or porn. Edmund, or porn. Oh, the decisions....

Grin grin grinning Caspian!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:25 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
*beams* The next thousand words or so are porn. Peta and Caspian are very happy.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:26 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
I think you mean a different h-word there...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:30 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
Well, afterwards, I mean. You know.

Although. There is actually less sex than in the earliest snippets.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:31 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
But it is probably better sex. Besides the early snippets were you writing me commentporn just because you could...

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:38 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
I'm not necessarily sure it's better sex, since I was writing it while looking at the snippets in one window. *grin*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:39 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
But that means you improve on them, y/y? If you change stuff, it is for legit reason.

Also, plot. plot automatically makes for better sex.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:43 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
Really, I feel the next 20K can be sex, and then perhaps the remaining 2K can be plot.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:43 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
Do you see me complaining?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:51 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
's not like there's much plot left anyway. It basically boils down to "under siege, Miraz mocks Peta and Caspian, Professor Cornelius shows up, duel, battle, happily ever after BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, pregnancy, marriage, happily ever after."

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:53 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
*someone* is going to come along and complain that you're being heteronormative and staking Happily Ever After on pregnancy and marriage... arm yourself against this attack in advance ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:56 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
I'm sorry, happily ever after until the kid goes missing, the kingdom gets conquered, the in-laws die and/or vanish, the husband throws the wife out of the country, the wife starts sleeping with herself from another world, only herself happens to be a HIM, they then have the most fucked up marriage ever, they save the world, have lots of sex, the him leaves, and the wife is left with her husband, her badly damaged country, and her still-missing son.

*beams*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:56 am (UTC)
ext_42328: Language is my playground (Default)
From: [identity profile] ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com
that's better. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:59 am (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
Although part one does in fact end with marriage and pregnancy. Or possibly with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy and an engagement.

You know, after fiancee kills a bunch of people, including her prospective uncle-in-law.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 09:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dikela.livejournal.com
You WILL post it here when it is finished, will you? Pleeaase.
I like it MUCH more than I expected, since Caspian/anyPevencie is NOT my favourite pairing. But you managed to attract me anyway. So I am longing to read it ALL. You are very quick, btw.

So, you decided that this is your Peta. I must say that she looks quite believable. And very pretty.

There is a nice William Moseley and Skandar Keynes interview here on three pages with some nice pictures.
page 1 -- http://www.popcorn.co.uk/page.asp?partid=785
page 2 -- http://www.popcorn.co.uk/page.asp?partid=786
page 3 -- http://www.popcorn.co.uk/page.asp?partid=787

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
excuse me, just being jealous of you having coherent plot and dialogue... mine seems to have devolved into huge amounts of 'inside people's heads' with occasional dialogue.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 04:05 pm (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
*sheepish* I suppose it helps that I write all the time anyway? I'm not really writing all that more often than I usually do. (Which is, uh, kind of alarming, actually.)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 04:07 pm (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
Oh, yeah, it'll definitely go up when it's done and edited.

Yup! This is my Peta. It's actually surprisingly hard to find pictures of Scarlett Johansson with the right expression on her face. And by right expression, I mean, "I am going to eat your face," or the potential for it, at least.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katakokk.livejournal.com
....Dust?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-12 08:01 pm (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
At some point, I swear. NaNo is priority right now.

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bedlamsbard: natasha romanoff from the black widow prelude comic (Default)
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