oh my god, world, WHY SO CRUEL?
Dec. 14th, 2008 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bedlamsbardClearly the gods don't want me to have straight teeth. See, about three weeks ago I had one of my horrible hacking colds, where I spend twenty out of every twenty-four hours hacking up one or both lungs or other various useful internal organs, and I stopped wearing my retainer for the time being because, hello, COULDN'T BREATHE and it was extremely painful and awkward around all the coughing. And I like straight teeth and I like breathing but I like the breathing thing a little more, you know? Well, the cold is mostly gone, I haven't hacked up any more internal organs in the better part of a week, and now my retainer no longer fits.
They should have just put in the goddamn permanent retainer, is all I'm saying, and I have no idea how to break this news to my mother, because, for those who weren't here during the Big Braces Drama of 07-08, this is the third time I've had braces. (They didn't put in the permanent retainer because my teeth weren't actually straight when they took the braces off; they had to take them off early because hi, I'm going to college two thousand miles from home; I can't exactly drop in for regular check-ups. I said put in the permanent retainer, they said, "No, it wouldn't be good!" Clearly they were wrong.)
Look, it's a law of physics that two objects cannot occupy the same physical space at the same time, and clearly at this point if the Orthodontic Powers That Be want me to have straight teeth, they're going to have to take out a tooth, because there's no way in hell my teeth are going to be straight otherwise. No way in hell. On both top and bottom teeth.
You have no idea how incredibly frustrated this makes me, because I swear to God, I wouldn't have stopped wearing the retainer if I didn't think it was necessary, and I couldn't breathe. Which I've heard is real useful. Also, I am going to have to break this to my mother over the phone, which at least will preclude her yelling at me in person for a few days.
SPEAKING OF WHICH. In less dire and more amusing WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME.
Ellensburg has finally had snow! Which, well, not so much with the yay, because I fled Washington to get away from snow. But it led to the following conversation with my mother.
HER: You should dress warmly when you fly back, it's pretty cold here.
ME: How cold is "pretty cold"?
HER: It's about thirty right now.
ME: Oh my God, that's so cold --
HER: But on Wednesday (the day I fly back) it's supposed to be around negative three, negative two.
ME: OH MY GOD THAT'S SO COLD NEXT YEAR YOU COME HERE FOR CHRISTMAS. I mean, I am at a point where "below fifty" is cold!
HER: You might want to wear layers when you fly back. Since you don't have any winter clothing.
ME: BECAUSE I AM IN A TROPICAL CLIMATE.
They should have just put in the goddamn permanent retainer, is all I'm saying, and I have no idea how to break this news to my mother, because, for those who weren't here during the Big Braces Drama of 07-08, this is the third time I've had braces. (They didn't put in the permanent retainer because my teeth weren't actually straight when they took the braces off; they had to take them off early because hi, I'm going to college two thousand miles from home; I can't exactly drop in for regular check-ups. I said put in the permanent retainer, they said, "No, it wouldn't be good!" Clearly they were wrong.)
Look, it's a law of physics that two objects cannot occupy the same physical space at the same time, and clearly at this point if the Orthodontic Powers That Be want me to have straight teeth, they're going to have to take out a tooth, because there's no way in hell my teeth are going to be straight otherwise. No way in hell. On both top and bottom teeth.
You have no idea how incredibly frustrated this makes me, because I swear to God, I wouldn't have stopped wearing the retainer if I didn't think it was necessary, and I couldn't breathe. Which I've heard is real useful. Also, I am going to have to break this to my mother over the phone, which at least will preclude her yelling at me in person for a few days.
SPEAKING OF WHICH. In less dire and more amusing WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME.
Ellensburg has finally had snow! Which, well, not so much with the yay, because I fled Washington to get away from snow. But it led to the following conversation with my mother.
HER: You should dress warmly when you fly back, it's pretty cold here.
ME: How cold is "pretty cold"?
HER: It's about thirty right now.
ME: Oh my God, that's so cold --
HER: But on Wednesday (the day I fly back) it's supposed to be around negative three, negative two.
ME: OH MY GOD THAT'S SO COLD NEXT YEAR YOU COME HERE FOR CHRISTMAS. I mean, I am at a point where "below fifty" is cold!
HER: You might want to wear layers when you fly back. Since you don't have any winter clothing.
ME: BECAUSE I AM IN A TROPICAL CLIMATE.