oh my god, world, WHY SO CRUEL?

[bedlamsbard]

Clearly the gods don't want me to have straight teeth. See, about three weeks ago I had one of my horrible hacking colds, where I spend twenty out of every twenty-four hours hacking up one or both lungs or other various useful internal organs, and I stopped wearing my retainer for the time being because, hello, COULDN'T BREATHE and it was extremely painful and awkward around all the coughing. And I like straight teeth and I like breathing but I like the breathing thing a little more, you know? Well, the cold is mostly gone, I haven't hacked up any more internal organs in the better part of a week, and now my retainer no longer fits.

They should have just put in the goddamn permanent retainer, is all I'm saying, and I have no idea how to break this news to my mother, because, for those who weren't here during the Big Braces Drama of 07-08, this is the third time I've had braces. (They didn't put in the permanent retainer because my teeth weren't actually straight when they took the braces off; they had to take them off early because hi, I'm going to college two thousand miles from home; I can't exactly drop in for regular check-ups. I said put in the permanent retainer, they said, "No, it wouldn't be good!" Clearly they were wrong.)

Look, it's a law of physics that two objects cannot occupy the same physical space at the same time, and clearly at this point if the Orthodontic Powers That Be want me to have straight teeth, they're going to have to take out a tooth, because there's no way in hell my teeth are going to be straight otherwise. No way in hell. On both top and bottom teeth.

You have no idea how incredibly frustrated this makes me, because I swear to God, I wouldn't have stopped wearing the retainer if I didn't think it was necessary, and I couldn't breathe. Which I've heard is real useful. Also, I am going to have to break this to my mother over the phone, which at least will preclude her yelling at me in person for a few days.

SPEAKING OF WHICH. In less dire and more amusing WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME.

Ellensburg has finally had snow! Which, well, not so much with the yay, because I fled Washington to get away from snow. But it led to the following conversation with my mother.

HER: You should dress warmly when you fly back, it's pretty cold here.
ME: How cold is "pretty cold"?
HER: It's about thirty right now.
ME: Oh my God, that's so cold --
HER: But on Wednesday (the day I fly back) it's supposed to be around negative three, negative two.
ME: OH MY GOD THAT'S SO COLD NEXT YEAR YOU COME HERE FOR CHRISTMAS. I mean, I am at a point where "below fifty" is cold!
HER: You might want to wear layers when you fly back. Since you don't have any winter clothing.
ME: BECAUSE I AM IN A TROPICAL CLIMATE.

Comments

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

re : orthodontics. I pushed the top of my mouth to 'too small' by a childhood of dedicated thumb sucking (the top of my mouth fits my thumb perfectly) and my lower jaw is a little small for my teeth. Cue me getting two taken out in each jaw, getting braces in my mid-teens... my top teeth are straight. My lower ones went back to 'slightly wonky but less cramped' after a few years.

I'm currently holidaying in the bit of the UK that is warmer than the rest of it but I'm still in hoodie and fleece-lined jacket. and scarf and gloves and beanie. Admittedly this is partly due to omni-present wind. I'm going to freeze when i get back to London.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Both my jaws are too small. *throws up hands* Seriously, I don't see how, by any logical means, my teeth can stay straight without them taking out a tooth, because it's not possible. I mean, not that I particularly want them to take out a tooth, but seriously, how in the name of physics is it even possible? I had braces in elementary school, in middle school, and in my last year of high school.

It doesn't help that I play saxophone, and the mouthpiece presses the front couple teeth on the lower jaw back. (Which is actually really bad if you're playing and have braces at the same time, because it can weakend the base of the teeth or something.)

*whimpers* I'm literally going to freeze when I get back to Washington. deathdeathdeath. (If the pass is even open so I can get back to Ellensburg, oh my God -- there's a mountain range between Seattle and my hometown.)

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Luckily for me, they only teeth they had to take out were baby teeth that had overstayed their welcome. Your teeth must be made of ZOOM, though - moved so far you can't shove the retainer back on and have a couple of nights of OW while they adjust?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Nope. But it might be because I have one of those retainers that, like, conforms to the backside of your teeth, not the ones you just stick over. (If that made any sense at all.) And I have had non-baby teeth taken out, seriously, sign from the GODS that I am not supposed to have straight teeth.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes I know the ones. Bugger. :(

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I am so frustrated, you have no idea.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Could be worse... I threw mine in the garbage bin by accident. THAT was fun to explain to the ortho...

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but that sort of thing is more explainable than, "Hey, I didn't learn from the first two times this happened to me, apparently the third time is NOT the trick."

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

on the other hand: BREATHING. you have an excuse.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, there went $5000 down the drain.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Ah. There is a bit of a problem there, yes.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I was just on the phone with my mother crying about it. *sigh*

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, my amazing superpower is crying at the drop of a hat. *throws up hands*

[starsimpulse.livejournal.com]

ACK. retaianers. don't even get be started.

also, how did your last final go? the one with the essays?

[starsimpulse.livejournal.com]

ACK. CLEARLY I CAN NOT SPELL. *facepalm*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Oh, it gets better. This was the third time I had braces; the second time I had a retainer, and the last time I got braces it was because I wasn't wearing my retainer. But seriously now. Straight teeth can't be that important.

*shrugs* It went. I don't know. My handwriting got shockingly worse as I went on.