(no subject)

[bedlamsbard]

I don't know what the most brain-breaking part of writing early, early Golden Age (like, within the first year) fic is: the fact that they aren't jaded with twenty-five years of war-making and heartbreak and betrayal, the fact that they're actually, you know, kids, the fact that I have OC cameos that I know I kill off horribly later on (oh, Louhanna. It's not that Kaikura and Sidonie aren't awesome, it's that you, Saidi, Bebhin, and Songtail were the first of the Royal Guard to ever appear), or the fact that I can't put in any questionable subtext. (I mean, I could, there's just the point where, you know, Peter is fourteen.)

They're so little. And, I mean, this is early enough that they're still bothered by the killing; Susan is throwing snowballs and suddenly has the moment of freak-out of I've killed people this way. And they're all awkward and gawky and while there's still this air of fun and games there's also the promise of you're learning and this is what you'll become. *shivers* I mean, it's supposed to be fun and adorable and whatnot, but I keep writing and going, "OH MY GOD IN TWENTY-FOUR YEARS YOU WILL BE SCREWED UP LIKE WHOA." (Twenty-four years later being Dust, by the way.)

It's kind of heartbreaking.

That said: wee Pevensies? Ten kinds of adorable.