...oh, gods, my brain

[bedlamsbard]

...suddenly I want a talking groundhog. I am not really sure how this is going to work out in Narnia or why I want one, but damn, suddenly I do.

(I so did not realize it was Groundhog's Day until Yahoo kindly told me so. One year, in, like, second or third grade, I had a Groundhog's Day party. We played "pin the shadow on the groundhog.")

...oh my God, clearly in Narnia the groundhogs are, like, another version of the centaurs, only their fortune-telling is much more gloomy. "I see that we shall have another six weeks of winter, my king," Tumblefoot says wearily to Peter, and behind Peter a centaur with the army, Oreius's nephew Regulus stomps his hooves and practically shouts, "You idiot! IF YOU PAID ATTENTION TO THE METEOROLOGICAL SIGNS YOU WOULD KNOW THAT WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE AN UNSEASONABLY HOT SPRING." Edmund coughs, "Also, it's shirtsleeve weather." "Well, how would I know?" Tumblefoot the groundhog says, "I have fur."

Comments

[katakokk.livejournal.com]

LOL. That excerpt is LOL. ♥

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

*curtsies*

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

heh. and are we incorporating the fact that the groundhog method has been calculated as right less than 40% of the time?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Probably. I feel the chances that there has been a silent war between the centaur prophets (who tend to be right, but only because they're so vague that even when they're wrong they're right) and the groundhog prophets (who tend to be wrong, but when they're right, they're dead on) for a long time now. *highly amused* Oh, Narnia mythos, you are so screwed up and yet so fun.

[1aquaesulis76.livejournal.com]

YES, OH YES!! PLEEEEASE! Oh that HURTS! And the groundhogs vs centaurs, and ouch, I'm aching. And crying.

"I have fur." I can just hear the quietly sardonic, put-down tone to the voice, the exasperation under a thin disguise of patient reminder that... DUH!

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I have been too long away from the day to day matters of the Golden Age. OH THE CRACK. OH THE BELIEFS. Of course the groundhogs practice earth-based prophecy! And they are in rivalry with the centaurs, who look to the heavens!

[starsimpulse.livejournal.com]

I AM HAVING A GROUNDHOG'S DAY PARTY TODAY.

NOT EVEN KIDDING.

YOU THINK I AM KIDDING, BUT I AM SO NOT.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

BUT ARE YOU PLAYING PIN THE TAIL ON THE GROUNDHOG?

[starsimpulse.livejournal.com]

ALAS, NO.

BUT WE ARE PLAYING 'SLEEPING QUEENS'. AND PROBUBLY CURSES.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE ARE. Enlightenment?

[starsimpulse.livejournal.com]

THIS (http://www.yogee.com.au/images/230_Sleeping_Queens_A.jpg) IS 'SLEEPING QUEENS'. It's kind of hard to explain. Pretty much you've got a bunch of sleeping queens (cards that are turned over) kings wake them up (you get to turn one over and keep it), sleeping potions put other people's queens back to sleep, dragons let you steel other people's queens and wands and knights defend against potions and dragons. Idk, it's really cracky, but suprisingly fun. We play it a lot when my family gets together.

THIS (http://www.worldwiseimports.com/images/Curses!,%20Games,%20Mah%20Jongg,%20Cribbage,Go/10.jpg) IS CURSES. And it is pretty much my favorite board game ever (except for the fact that it doesn't have a board but whatever). Basically, you get a 'curse card' which say's something ridikulous like "You are Napolean. Talk in a french accent." or "You can't bend your elbows." or "You are a Vulcan. Everytime you laugh say "That's not funny." with a straight face." or something like that, and you just go around and get more and more 'curse cards' till everyone's doing a bunch of stupid things at once and making total idiots of themselves, and hilarity ensues.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Oh fun! I have never heard of those before.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

...apparently, Tumblefoot is blind and cannot see that everyone who wears clothing is wearing *light* clothing...


Perhaps Tumblefoot is a particularly inept groundhog-forecaster; or perhaps the groundhogs as a race are always wrong in their predictions, and so always disbelieved-like reverse Cassandras, but with justification...they're not believed because they're always wrong, and the ONE TIME a groundhog medium is right, guess what happens...?!


I've no idea. Just messin' with ya! :D

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Or maybe he just doesn't have a good conception of human clothing, because hey, unless it's armor, animals don't wear clothing, so it all looks the same to them...

I feel the groundhogs are usually very, very wrong, but when they are right, they are absolutely right. Whereas the centaurs tend to be right more often, but only because they're so vague that even when they're wrong they're right.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Centaurs=Nostradamus :D


How much exposure is this groundhog going to have to the encampment? Do they just stroll up to him and say "predict!", or is he around various types of people for a couple of days, at least? Because there's going to be *some* people, somewhere, of different races and species, who take off their armour and relax on their sleep shift, or bathe, or go eat, or something. No army is en garde 24/7/365.

And if they *are* running around in full armor all the time, they're going to get hot. Red faces, sweat, scratching themselves, fanning...contextual clues. Again, just a matter of how long he's around everybody. *shrugs*

I think that's a good idea-that ground hogs are normally so very wrong they aggravate the shit out of everyone, because they're hoity-toity little things, what with their traditional role and all...but they can't ever be quite dismissed, entirely, because they *have* been known to be right, once every few decades/centuries or so...and yeah, so *very* right, it's appalling to think they might not have been listened to.

What if one of Tumblefot's ancestors predicted the White Witch? *That* would give him "I told you so!" rights FOREVER.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Well, groundhogs are pretty low to the ground, so who knows...maybe it's just a traditional kind of thing, you know, the groundhogs predict at certain times of the year.

"I told you we'd have six more weeks of winter!"
"ONE HUNDRED YEARS IS NOT SIX WEEKS."

[almostinstinct.livejournal.com]

*dies*


No. Seriously. HOW DID NARNIANS EAT DURING THAT WINTER?

It keeps me up nights.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

The only answer I got is that the White Witch imported food from the islands, which were probably not...winterized. (We know she was claiming to be Empress of the Lone Islands, so. *shrugs*)