anxiety

[bedlamsbard]

So the anxiety appears to be back. Well, there's something I find emotionally fulfilling. NOT. But the two main causes aren't really things I can do anything about right now (can't register for classes until Monday (but what am I going to take! and oh no, I forgot to find and fill out the language placement thingy online, which means I can't register for Greek! AND WHAT AM I GOING TO TAKE?), can't wire the deposit to ACE until Monday, and I keep going, "But what if it doesn't arrive in time!" Um, it's a wire, I'm pretty sure that's more or less instantaneous, I'm sure they weren't lying when they said I had fourteen days to send it in and that was on the 31st), and the other end of the school year stuff is, well, I just have to take it one day at a time. And I have a week between the end of classes and the beginning of finals this semester, because they gave us an Easter break! (We basically got two spring breaks this year, because of the way Mardi Gras and Easter shook out. Thanks, lunar calendar!) So I can do all my packing then.

Studying, buckling down on a lot of the reading I didn't do over the course of the semester (but I have that whole extra week!), getting my final projects sorted out -- I have a paper for Shakespeare, I think I'm going to do something with Measure for Measure; I've got a prospectus for my tutorial in Medieval Religious Culture (I was going to do clerical marriage, but a lot of the books I was looking for are out of the library, so I assume someone else in the class had the same idea; I'll look at Holy Feast, Holy Fast tomorrow); and my honors thesis boot camp prospectus (I got the option to turn in a Borgias prospectus for the final, but I think I'm going to stick with Spenser right now because I haven't had the time to do the Borgia reading). For Latin and Etruscans I've just got finals; a couple more quizzes left in each class, which I need to get As on. I need to get all As this semester because...well, grad school, and I want to bump my GPA up to at least a 3.7; right now I'm hovering at the mid 3.6 range. Which isn't bad, it's, what, an A- average? But not what I want. I'd like a 3.8, but I don't think I can bump it up that much in two semesters.

Also worrying about the GRE; I was strongly advised to take a GRE prep class, but...damn, that's a lot of money I don't want to spend. Also, I'm not sure they offer one in my hometown. (As my mother says, "Yes, there's a university there, but most of the students at CWU don't plan to go onto graduate school." They do offer the GRE, though.) And apparently they're changing the GRE in August; having never taken the GRE before, I have no idea what that means. Oh joy. (It also means I have to decide when to take the GRE, in June or August. July I shall be elsewhere, hopefully.) Obviously I cannot do anything about the GRE now and I should stop worrying about it until after the semester is over. Have I mentioned that I haven't done math since junior year of high school? Indeed.

And I have so many books on my bookshelf that I want to read! And probably won't be able to before the semester ends and I have to take them all back to the library! And sure, I can check out books from the university library back home with my dad's card (he's teaching), but that library is teetiny and nearly a joke compared to Tilton. Yes, I am angsting over the library not being as good when I go home this summer. *facepalm* Like I don't own enough books I haven't read or want to reread.

Also worrying, on a much reduced level, about everything in my pantry. Some of it I can ship home; the rest of it I'm either going to have to cook through in the next month or throw out when I move. Hopefully the former rather than the latter!

Also I am slowly running out of tea. UNACCEPTABLE. I hope I have enough loose-leaf to get me through the month, because I really don't want to have to order more right now. (I'm on the last legs of the sencha, genmaicha, and kikucha; I've got some jasmine left but it doesn't do much for me unless I'm in a very particular mood. I've got a ton of bag tea left -- Ito En green, and then some chamomiles and black teas for evening and morning, respectively.)

And then I end up worrying about money, which, I don't need to worry about money; I have money from my grandparents, which I'm not going to blow through by spending it on groceries (mostly), and the occasional book, skein of yarn, or meal out. (I mean, it's also paying for me to go abroad, but still. I've got a pretty good cushion; I just keep worrying about it because, as I have mentioned, worrying is my super power.)

Clothes are another minor irritation, but again, one I can't do anything about right now. I think probably because of the laundry machines here, I've been getting a lot of holes in my shirts, all very small holes clustered in roughly the same area. So I'm going to need to buy shirts when I go home, as well as put together a couple of outfits, or components at least, that are a step up from jeans and t-shirts. I am an absolute failure in the blouse department, and I wouldn't mind having a dress or two in the mid-range between "I don't think this is appropriate to wear to class" (that dress totally is, though, I just wouldn't wear it to class) and "I think this is just slightly too fancy to wear to class" (I mean, I probably could, just, you know. Higher up on that scale than I'm used to).

Oh, and I'm having problems with Netflix Instant View lately; the videos have started getting too jerky to watch over the past couple of days and I have no idea why, or how to fix it. I assume it's on my end, but I don't know what's causing it. So that's really minor, but still a sense of frustration when I just want to take forty-five minutes out of my day to knit and watch some TV, you know?

Dear anxiety, I would like you to go away. I could deal without that sense of encroaching panic; I was doing fine without the physical symptoms. (I'm sure I'm not that bad compared to other people, it's just, you know, I'm not other people.

Comments

[sara]

I think it's a good idea to get a book of practice exams for the GRE and read up on how standardized testing works, but I would not stress about taking a class. Honestly, it's not rocket science, it's just a question of brushing up on the math and learning how to handle the logic problems. You can do that just fine, you're bright. If you have anything like a problem with the English/reading comprehension...I will be very, very surprised.

[bedlamsbard]

One of my professors (my Shakespeare prof, who is also my thesis advisor) was pushing relaly hard that I take a class because otherwise the logic problems are nigh on impossible. Thus the panic! But, yes, I think a book should do fine. *breathes into paper bag* It could be worse! I don't have to worry about the MCAT the way my roommate does.

[sporky_rat]

The logic problems are not that hard. Get one of the GRE books and run through it. You'll be fine.

[bedlamsbard]

That's my plan! Although as we have established, panicking is my superpower.

[pinesandmaples]

Re, clothes: Have you met Buffalo Outfitters yet? Because that is an awesome way to beef up your wardrobe without having to buy new or spend crazy amounts of cash.

Re, Netflix: We're having the same problem. It's a network issue.

[bedlamsbard]

I have not! Where is it? (There's a really cute consignment store on Magazine Street called Swap that I discovered when my mom was here; I keep meaning to go back and get this scarf I liked, if it's still there.)

Well, it's good to know it's not just me! So, in other words, Tulane is trying to make its students study instead of procrastinate? :)

[pinesandmaples]

Dammit, I always cross the two! Buffalo Outfitters is a camping/hiking/etc store. The one you want is Buffalo Exchange, and it's on Magazine and Toledano across from Breaux Mart. I love shopping there, even though clothes my size don't come in often. My wife is a more common size so she gets lots and lots of lovely things.

I actually think the issue is related to Cox, because I suspect Tulane gets their pipes from Cox on campus as well. Just, through a very large business account. It basically blows.

[bedlamsbard]

I will have to check it out sometime! (And Swap is on Maple, not Magazine. *hands* For some reason, I always mix up Maple and Magazine, and have since I was a freshman.)

*sighs* Perhaps it will go away soon?

[lady_songsmith]

I would not bother with a class; they are generally a waste of money. Logic problems? Your professor may be mixing the GRE (which does not have logic problems, just the kind of quantitative analysis found on the SAT -- those Col A, Col B things most people hate) with the LSAT, which is notorious for its weird-ass logic puzzles.

This is a summary of the changes they are making to the GRE; it does not sound outrageous: http://www.ets.org/gre/revised_general/about/content

Personally? I would suggest taking the revised one solely for the offered discount (http://www.ets.org/gre/revised_general/know#another_reason), because ETS has you over a major barrel on test fees and really enjoys telling people to bend over and grab their ankles.

Uhm, I may be able to hook you up with a review book, if you really feel panicky; I know someone who writes them and has author copies. It'd be non-revised, I think; I know they are working on a revised content issue but I don't think it's out yet.

[bedlamsbard]

Yeah, that section -- I used to do a lot of those in middle school and high school, so perhaps it won't be too terrible.

Eck, test fees. I'm trying to decide based on dates -- they say that if you need it before November, take the old one; if after, take the new; the UW's deadline is December 1st, so...November is a very long month, people! I have no idea if that means I should take it in June or August. (Wait, the GRE website says that if I take it in August, then they should report the scores in November. Okay, they should have made it more clear on their other page.)

I would not say no to that! (I really should have picked one up when Borders was having its big going-out-of-business sale. And now I have no Borders.)