ARGH (medieval Virgil: total asshole. great at statues. sometimes wrote poetry)

[bedlamsbard]

Argh, I did that thing which you are never supposed to do, and now I have a chapter of thesis due in a week and haven't started. And am not entirely sure what I'm writing about, except "Virgil", "Ovid", and "Renaissance."

Do not judge, I am too busy judging myself. I'm sure there are at least a couple of other dumb honors students in the same place; I know the reason that the honors program started putting checkpoints in throughout the year is because there were too many people trying to write the entire 50-60 page thing the weekend before in April.

Okay. It is not like I enjoy being that girl who writes papers the night before and still gets pretty decent grades, but I am in fact that girl and hey, it's not due for another nine days. I do have to send it in to my readers and get signatures, so I will e-mail everyone this week and tell them I should have a complete draft by Thursday (oh dear) and that I need to get signatures and turn it in by Monday.

Ugh. I feel really incompetent, and also am seriously considering dropping the whole damn project and just doing a capstone next semester. There are a number of lovely option in MEMS, including an English course on early modern lit and Spain and a history course on imperial Spain, and some nice options in Classics, too. But that feels like giving up or losing, and I've never liked that.

But if you want to know about necromancer magician Virgil, I gotcha covered. He was kind of a giant dick. But he was aces at magic statues.

Meanwhile, I have finished the prologue of my plotty BSG fic and am debating whether posting it in chapters or waiting until it's complete will give it a better chance of actually getting done. Of course I also wonder if anyone wants to read plotty Helo/Sharon S4 AU fic, but I want to write it, so that's the part that matters.

Comments

[snacky]

Of course I also wonder if anyone wants to read plotty Helo/Sharon S4 AU fic

*raises hand*

[bedlamsbard]

OH GOOD.

(Speaking of which, did you get that e-mail with the summary I sent last week?)

[snacky]

I did! And I have been so busy that I haven't YET finished my reply - it's been sitting in the draft folder all week. But suffice it to say, I love the idea and yes, please, and MORE.

[bedlamsbard]

Yay! I'm just really paranoid about e-mails not going through, since sometimes Yahoo likes to mess with me for their own sick pleasure. :)

[darklyndsea]

But if you want to know about necromancer magician Virgil, I gotcha covered. He was kind of a giant dick. But he was aces at magic statues.

I have no idea how you meant this, but it sounds like fun. I'm imagining that it's some crazy AU of the real world that you're writing (or that somebody else wrote?). If that's not the truth, don't tell me otherwise. It's my happy place now.

Completely unrelated: I saw The Immortals last night, which was a very creative interpretation of Greek mythology (there was this scene where Zeus said something about the gods not interfering in mortal lives and he meant it). I felt like I should have been playing a drinking game during it.

[bedlamsbard]

Ha, in the middle ages, somehow this popular belief sprung up that Virgil (the poet) was also a magician and a necromancer. Some of his miracles include the bronze statue of a fly that kep flies out of Rome (I assume it's Rome, anyway, it could be a different city), a gate in Naples where Virgil penned up all the sanakes to keep them from getting into the city (but! at least by the twelfth century they were afraid to destroy the gate in case the, you know, thousand year old snakes got out), a bronze archer that would have kept Vesuvius from erupting if someone hadn't been an idiot and played with it, and various other tricks.

THEN THERE'S THE PART WHERE HE'S A GIANT DICK. So he fancied this gentlewoman in Rome and managed to convince her to haul him up to her tower in a basket, but she left him halfway there hanging in the air so that everyone could see until the emperor came and told her to let him down, so she did. Then Virgil, who was really embarrassed, took all the fire away from Rome. Which made the emperor had to send for Virgil, who said that the only way that anyone could get fire would be to -- wait for it -- light their candles between the legs of the gentlewoman who'd left him hanging. So the poor lady had to be set up on a scaffold in the market place with her legs spread and for three days everyone who wanted fire had to come and get there.

Next paragraph: Virgil gets married. Later, he sets up an image that makes women who see have no desire to "commit bodily lust." The women? REALLY FREAKING ANNOYED, so Virgil's wife keeps ripping it down. Virgil finds out, starts hating her, kidnaps the Sultan's daughter, marries her to someone else, did some other stuff, REALLY HATED WOMEN. Later got chopped up into pieces trying to be too clever for his own good.

(Source: mostly from a sixteenth century Life of Virgil, but the supernatural stuff seems to start in the twelfth century.)

...I could not make this stuff up if I tried. And I like making stuff up.

[darklyndsea]

That...is even more awesome than I imagined.

[bedlamsbard]

toft read the same book I did and summed up the cracky parts more eloquently than I did, if you'd like more lulz.

FULL OF LULZ. OH THE WACKY MIDDLE AGES.

[sporky_rat]

I have no interest in BSG, but I am totally interested in your take on Virgil.

[bedlamsbard]

The terrifying thing: not my take. From medieval sources (see above), which are cracked out.

[(Anonymous)]

Of course I also wonder if anyone wants to read plotty Helo/Sharon S4 AU fic, but I want to write it, so that's the part that matters.

um. YES. 1000% yes. (sorry about the randomosity, I'm an occasional LJ user who's been trawling the Internet for quality Agathons-stories since marathoning BSG this year and finding myself falling helplessly in love with them (my first new fandom in 4 years, aaaaack no not this again-- but basically, I love your writing, and have been following your LJ) this would be a dream come true for me-- there's almost no plotty fic for them! *waves flags of support*

-Lira (celira.livejournal.com)

[bedlamsbard]

Heh! Yeah, my first new fandom in four years too. SHOCKING. The story's in progress; we'll see how it goes. :)