avengers fic I am totally not writing
Dec. 1st, 2012 09:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bedlamsbardHere is a thing which I am not writing. It is an Avengers thing. It is an AU thing. It is an AU-crossover-with-canon thing. (It is sort of this thing number two, with adjustments.)
In conclusion: Avengers! Totally not writing. But wouldn't it be cool if I was?
Natasha arrived in SHIELD’s round atrium just in time to see a beam of blindingly blight cut clean through the ceiling and emboss a familiar round knot pattern on the marble floor. She threw one arm up to protect her eyes, turning half away as she drew one of her guns. When she’d finished blinking the sparks from her eyes, it was to find that the SHIELD emergency response team had arrived, along with Coulson, Clint, and Steve.
In the center of the pattern, Loki readjusted his green silk scarf and smoothed a few imperceptible wrinkles out of his suit jacket. He looked up and around them with every expression of surprise. “Surely my arrival is no longer cause for –” He stopped mid-sentence, his face stiffening as he saw Thor. “Brother.”
“Brother,” Thor echoed, leaning forward a little. “What are you doing here?”
Loki shifted a little, shimmers running up and down his body as his suit and scarf shifted into armor, though he left off the helmet. Natasha drew her second pistol, the weight of it familiar against her palm. Beside her, Clint’s fingers tightened on the arrow he had on the string.
“What am I doing here?” Loki repeated. “I do, after all, have some allegiance to SHIELD, which is more reason than you have. If it’s me you want, brother, then perhaps we should go somewhere else. Leave these people out of it.”
Natasha blinked. She exchanged a bewildered look with Clint, whose scowl had faltered for a split second. “He’s playing us,” he muttered.
“Yes, brother, perhaps we should,” Thor said, his expression suggesting that he couldn’t believe his good fortune. He took a step forward, letting the hand with his hammer in it drop to his side.
Surprisingly, this seemed to alarm Loki even further. He took half a step backward, which made every gun in the room – and there were a lot – shift to cover the movement, and raised hands glittering green with magic. “How did you get Mjolnir?” he demanded.
Thor stopped again. “Brother?” he said, plainly bewildered.
“Do not attempt to trick me, Thor!” Loki said furiously. “Even your new friends cannot lift the spells Father laid on Mjolnir to prevent it from falling into unworthy hands, you know that as well as I. If they have promised to return your powers to you –”
“Okay,” Clint said loudly, “is anybody else here really confused?”
Loki’s gaze flickered quickly to him. “Oh, and now you turn my team against me as well, do you?” he said to Thor.
“Your team?” Clint demanded.
“Now listen here, pal –” Steve began.
“Brother,” Thor tried again, “you seem somewhat confused. Why don’t we sit down and discuss this further?”
Loki narrowed his eyes. “Release the spell you have laid on these mortals and I shall consider it,” he suggested.
“What spell?” Thor said, as Tony came zipping in through the hole in the roof.
“Whoa, hey, Loki,” he said, voice tinny through his helmet. “Well, I’ve been telling Fury he ought to put in a skylight, really open up the room, but that’s not really what I meant.”
The expression on Loki’s face couldn’t possibly be – relief? No, of course it couldn’t, Natasha thought furiously. Her arms didn’t tremble even slightly, though she’d been holding both guns extended for at least five minutes now.
“Stark,” he said. “You haven’t been affected by whatever paltry charm my brother has managed to procure from his new allies? Thank the Aesir. If you can disable the others, I can remove my brother to somewhere less harmful –”
“What are you talking about?” Tony demanded. “Guys? Anyone want to tell me what’s going on here? Any reason I shouldn’t just blast him?”
“Don’t!” Thor said quickly, just as Coulson stepped up behind Loki and tazered him in the neck.
*
When Loki woke up, in one of SHIELD’s highest security cells – it was actually one of the rooms they’d built back when they’d thought they had a hope of containing the Hulk – all he had to do was look at the handcuffs and they fell off his wrists. Natasha couldn’t really pronounce herself surprised.
“This is not amusing!” he barked, pacing right up to the two-way mirror. He placed the tip of one finger against it, ripples spreading out until it became nothing more than plain glass separating them. It was probably lucky that he hadn’t turned it into poisonous snakes or something.
“Not supposed to be, big guy,” Tony said.
Loki rubbed the back of his neck and glared at him. “What does my brother want from you? Thor has never had much interest in the affairs of lesser beings unless they have something to offer him, and even less of late.”
“Wow,” Tony said. “Pot, kettle, black, anyone?”
Loki gave him an unamused look. “I agreed to join your pathetic little band of –” He sneered, then made air-quotes. ¬“– heroes, did I not? While my brother would not have cared if he had burnt your planet to a cinder while seeking the Tesseract for his new masters. One would think,” he added bitingly, “that fighting my own brother might net some gratitude.”
“I think you’re a little confused,” Tony said brightly, wagging his finger at him. “Since it was actually you who did that, and Thor who fought you. Do you think he has amnesia?” he added to Steve. “Can gods even get amnesia?”
“I don’t know –” Steve said, frowning.
“I do not have amnesia,” Loki snapped. “Nor do I have to stand for this nonsense.” He tilted his head back. “Heimdall! Heimdall, open the Bifrost! Thor is loose on Earth!”
They all stared at him.
“He does know the Bifrost is still broken, doesn’t he?” Tony said to no one in particular.
Loki’s head snapped around towards him. “What did you do?” he demanded, then walked straight through the glass towards them.
Natasha drew her guns, Steve swung his shield forward, and Tony readied his blasters. The response team already had their guns fixed on him.
“Even you should not have been able to disturb the Bifrost,” Loki snapped, ignoring him. “None of your mortal magic has been able to touch it despite Dr. Foster’s impressive attempts.”
“That was actually Thor,” Tony said, staring at him in horrified fascination.
“Oh, well, then,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “What did he do, hit it with Mjolnir? Oh, wait, he can’t, because Mjolnir is in a secure SHIELD facility, or so I was assured by your leader since my father refuses to remove it to Asgard's vaults!”
Natasha wondered if it was possibly that Loki had finally just snapped. Well, snapped even more than he clearly already had.
Bruce’s voice crackled over their comms system. “Guys?” he said. “I’ve got Doctors Foster and Selvig here. And Thor. We think we might know what’s going on. You might want to bring Loki.”
*
“An alternate universe?” Tony said. “Are you serious?”
“What, that’s the least believable thing you’ve heard this week?” Clint said from his position by the door. He was still holding his bow in one hand; his eyes had been fixed on Loki through Jane’s excited explanation.
“Well –” Tony began, considered, then shrugged. “No. But still –”
“We have stories of such things,” Thor said eagerly, leaning forward in his chair. He glanced at Loki, all puppyish enthusiasm. “Do we not, brother?”
Loki rolled his eyes, looking away from him. He’d changed his armor back to the suit he’d been wearing before, all sleek GQ elegance, and had been toying with the ends of his scarf while Jane had been talking. “Stories,” he repeated, in what was probably agreement rather than disbelief. It was always hard to tell with Loki. “No more.”
“So he’s actually Loki?” Steve said. “But he’s – a good Loki?”
“‘Good’ is such a gauche word,” Loki remarked. “You don’t see me asking if this is a ‘good Thor.’” He actually makes air-quotes again. Clint looks like he might be quietly having an aneurysm, so Natasha goes over to squeeze his arm.
“You all right?”
“Are you sure we can’t just put him back in his cell?” he whispers back.
“He pretty much walked through the wall, so I don’t think it would help.”
“Hang on,” Tony says suddenly, “does this mean we actually have two Lokis running around? Evil Loki and –” He spreads his hands and waggles his head, “– not so evil Loki?”
“Well, better than two Thors,” Loki remarked. He still wasn’t looking straight at Thor. “And, of course, my brother’s execrable taste in friends. And I thought that the Warriors Three were regrettable.”
“These friends,” Steve said. “They wouldn’t happen to be the Chitauri, would they?”
“Oh, you’ve met,” Loki said. Then his eyes narrowed and he straightened up. “Are you saying that this Loki –”
Steve nodded.
Loki sighed. “Well. You do have my sympathies. I’m rather surprised your planet is still intact.”
“Don’t give yourself too much credit, Rudolf,” Tony said. “You’re not that good.”
Loki snorted. “Well,” he said again, primly. “This has been fascinating, but I do actually have somewhere to be, so I’ll be going now –”
“Wait, brother –” Thor began, but Jane ran roughshod over him.
“You can’t,” she said. “The Bifrost in our universe is still broken, and since that brought you here, we don’t know how to get you – ah – home.”
*
In conclusion: Avengers! Totally not writing. But wouldn't it be cool if I was?
Natasha arrived in SHIELD’s round atrium just in time to see a beam of blindingly blight cut clean through the ceiling and emboss a familiar round knot pattern on the marble floor. She threw one arm up to protect her eyes, turning half away as she drew one of her guns. When she’d finished blinking the sparks from her eyes, it was to find that the SHIELD emergency response team had arrived, along with Coulson, Clint, and Steve.
In the center of the pattern, Loki readjusted his green silk scarf and smoothed a few imperceptible wrinkles out of his suit jacket. He looked up and around them with every expression of surprise. “Surely my arrival is no longer cause for –” He stopped mid-sentence, his face stiffening as he saw Thor. “Brother.”
“Brother,” Thor echoed, leaning forward a little. “What are you doing here?”
Loki shifted a little, shimmers running up and down his body as his suit and scarf shifted into armor, though he left off the helmet. Natasha drew her second pistol, the weight of it familiar against her palm. Beside her, Clint’s fingers tightened on the arrow he had on the string.
“What am I doing here?” Loki repeated. “I do, after all, have some allegiance to SHIELD, which is more reason than you have. If it’s me you want, brother, then perhaps we should go somewhere else. Leave these people out of it.”
Natasha blinked. She exchanged a bewildered look with Clint, whose scowl had faltered for a split second. “He’s playing us,” he muttered.
“Yes, brother, perhaps we should,” Thor said, his expression suggesting that he couldn’t believe his good fortune. He took a step forward, letting the hand with his hammer in it drop to his side.
Surprisingly, this seemed to alarm Loki even further. He took half a step backward, which made every gun in the room – and there were a lot – shift to cover the movement, and raised hands glittering green with magic. “How did you get Mjolnir?” he demanded.
Thor stopped again. “Brother?” he said, plainly bewildered.
“Do not attempt to trick me, Thor!” Loki said furiously. “Even your new friends cannot lift the spells Father laid on Mjolnir to prevent it from falling into unworthy hands, you know that as well as I. If they have promised to return your powers to you –”
“Okay,” Clint said loudly, “is anybody else here really confused?”
Loki’s gaze flickered quickly to him. “Oh, and now you turn my team against me as well, do you?” he said to Thor.
“Your team?” Clint demanded.
“Now listen here, pal –” Steve began.
“Brother,” Thor tried again, “you seem somewhat confused. Why don’t we sit down and discuss this further?”
Loki narrowed his eyes. “Release the spell you have laid on these mortals and I shall consider it,” he suggested.
“What spell?” Thor said, as Tony came zipping in through the hole in the roof.
“Whoa, hey, Loki,” he said, voice tinny through his helmet. “Well, I’ve been telling Fury he ought to put in a skylight, really open up the room, but that’s not really what I meant.”
The expression on Loki’s face couldn’t possibly be – relief? No, of course it couldn’t, Natasha thought furiously. Her arms didn’t tremble even slightly, though she’d been holding both guns extended for at least five minutes now.
“Stark,” he said. “You haven’t been affected by whatever paltry charm my brother has managed to procure from his new allies? Thank the Aesir. If you can disable the others, I can remove my brother to somewhere less harmful –”
“What are you talking about?” Tony demanded. “Guys? Anyone want to tell me what’s going on here? Any reason I shouldn’t just blast him?”
“Don’t!” Thor said quickly, just as Coulson stepped up behind Loki and tazered him in the neck.
*
When Loki woke up, in one of SHIELD’s highest security cells – it was actually one of the rooms they’d built back when they’d thought they had a hope of containing the Hulk – all he had to do was look at the handcuffs and they fell off his wrists. Natasha couldn’t really pronounce herself surprised.
“This is not amusing!” he barked, pacing right up to the two-way mirror. He placed the tip of one finger against it, ripples spreading out until it became nothing more than plain glass separating them. It was probably lucky that he hadn’t turned it into poisonous snakes or something.
“Not supposed to be, big guy,” Tony said.
Loki rubbed the back of his neck and glared at him. “What does my brother want from you? Thor has never had much interest in the affairs of lesser beings unless they have something to offer him, and even less of late.”
“Wow,” Tony said. “Pot, kettle, black, anyone?”
Loki gave him an unamused look. “I agreed to join your pathetic little band of –” He sneered, then made air-quotes. ¬“– heroes, did I not? While my brother would not have cared if he had burnt your planet to a cinder while seeking the Tesseract for his new masters. One would think,” he added bitingly, “that fighting my own brother might net some gratitude.”
“I think you’re a little confused,” Tony said brightly, wagging his finger at him. “Since it was actually you who did that, and Thor who fought you. Do you think he has amnesia?” he added to Steve. “Can gods even get amnesia?”
“I don’t know –” Steve said, frowning.
“I do not have amnesia,” Loki snapped. “Nor do I have to stand for this nonsense.” He tilted his head back. “Heimdall! Heimdall, open the Bifrost! Thor is loose on Earth!”
They all stared at him.
“He does know the Bifrost is still broken, doesn’t he?” Tony said to no one in particular.
Loki’s head snapped around towards him. “What did you do?” he demanded, then walked straight through the glass towards them.
Natasha drew her guns, Steve swung his shield forward, and Tony readied his blasters. The response team already had their guns fixed on him.
“Even you should not have been able to disturb the Bifrost,” Loki snapped, ignoring him. “None of your mortal magic has been able to touch it despite Dr. Foster’s impressive attempts.”
“That was actually Thor,” Tony said, staring at him in horrified fascination.
“Oh, well, then,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “What did he do, hit it with Mjolnir? Oh, wait, he can’t, because Mjolnir is in a secure SHIELD facility, or so I was assured by your leader since my father refuses to remove it to Asgard's vaults!”
Natasha wondered if it was possibly that Loki had finally just snapped. Well, snapped even more than he clearly already had.
Bruce’s voice crackled over their comms system. “Guys?” he said. “I’ve got Doctors Foster and Selvig here. And Thor. We think we might know what’s going on. You might want to bring Loki.”
*
“An alternate universe?” Tony said. “Are you serious?”
“What, that’s the least believable thing you’ve heard this week?” Clint said from his position by the door. He was still holding his bow in one hand; his eyes had been fixed on Loki through Jane’s excited explanation.
“Well –” Tony began, considered, then shrugged. “No. But still –”
“We have stories of such things,” Thor said eagerly, leaning forward in his chair. He glanced at Loki, all puppyish enthusiasm. “Do we not, brother?”
Loki rolled his eyes, looking away from him. He’d changed his armor back to the suit he’d been wearing before, all sleek GQ elegance, and had been toying with the ends of his scarf while Jane had been talking. “Stories,” he repeated, in what was probably agreement rather than disbelief. It was always hard to tell with Loki. “No more.”
“So he’s actually Loki?” Steve said. “But he’s – a good Loki?”
“‘Good’ is such a gauche word,” Loki remarked. “You don’t see me asking if this is a ‘good Thor.’” He actually makes air-quotes again. Clint looks like he might be quietly having an aneurysm, so Natasha goes over to squeeze his arm.
“You all right?”
“Are you sure we can’t just put him back in his cell?” he whispers back.
“He pretty much walked through the wall, so I don’t think it would help.”
“Hang on,” Tony says suddenly, “does this mean we actually have two Lokis running around? Evil Loki and –” He spreads his hands and waggles his head, “– not so evil Loki?”
“Well, better than two Thors,” Loki remarked. He still wasn’t looking straight at Thor. “And, of course, my brother’s execrable taste in friends. And I thought that the Warriors Three were regrettable.”
“These friends,” Steve said. “They wouldn’t happen to be the Chitauri, would they?”
“Oh, you’ve met,” Loki said. Then his eyes narrowed and he straightened up. “Are you saying that this Loki –”
Steve nodded.
Loki sighed. “Well. You do have my sympathies. I’m rather surprised your planet is still intact.”
“Don’t give yourself too much credit, Rudolf,” Tony said. “You’re not that good.”
Loki snorted. “Well,” he said again, primly. “This has been fascinating, but I do actually have somewhere to be, so I’ll be going now –”
“Wait, brother –” Thor began, but Jane ran roughshod over him.
“You can’t,” she said. “The Bifrost in our universe is still broken, and since that brought you here, we don’t know how to get you – ah – home.”
*
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-02 08:24 am (UTC):D
Because this is awesome and Loki is still Loki even though he's 'Good' and all and.
.... *smooshes Loki and Clint together. possibly with Tony*
Clint: *shoots things till he can get away and hide in the ceiling*
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-02 11:55 pm (UTC)Loki would argue that he's not good, he just, you know, has unfinished business with (his) Thor and the best way to get the other Avengers to trust him is to help out from time to time. Oh, very well, he might as well draw a salary from SHIELD while he's at it, if they insist. And it makes his life easier if he has an address he can have his eBay purchases sent to. And some of the other Avengers, and their foes, are occasionally amusing. Also he and Pepper get along disturbingly well.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-03 07:37 am (UTC)Of course you arent 'good', Loki, we believe you. You're just... ah, gonna deal with Thor and then do your own thing and a permanent address is a good thing because everyone needs ebay.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-04 11:13 pm (UTC)Well. In his Midgard. This Midgard is something else entirely. He's not too pleased about that.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-02 10:40 pm (UTC)*eg*
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-03 12:00 am (UTC)