(no subject)
Sep. 22nd, 2018 02:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bedlamsbardThis week has been really rough, school-wise -- I've never been knocked out like this from just classwork before, usually if I'm wiped this way it's because of term papers or exams or a thesis.
Monday:
9:00 - get up (note I usually run an hour later), did I feed myself? I think I ate one banana
10:00 - leave house
10:30-11:30 - meeting with professor
11:30-12:45 - leading discussion session for class I'm TAing
1:00-4:20 - class (which is only supposed to go 4), includes a presentation and the horrifying realization that I hadn't done 90% of the reading because it was on a page turn in the syllabus
4:20-6:00 - grocery shopping with S
6:00-8:00 - walk to the Square, dinner (BECAUSE I HADN'T EATEN ALL DAY) while reading about capitalism and writing a 500-word reaction, walk home
8:00-10:00 - Greek
10:00-3:00 - a blissful nothing, except that "nothing" somehow did not include "going to bed at a reasonable hour"
you may note that there is only one meal on that day.
Tuesday:
12 noon - crawl out of bed
12:00-2:00 - slowly attempt to crawl towards coherency via application of caffeine and food
2:00-3:15 - frantic reading for next class
3:15-3:45 - running around house getting ready to leave
3:45 - leave house
4:15-7:15 - class (exhausting, includes The Asshole)
8:00 - stagger home, feed self
9:00-10:30 - Greek
10:30-2:00 am - I have literally no idea what I did except I wasn't sleeping, wasn't writing, and wasn't watching Star Wars
Wednesday:
9:30 - alarm goes off
10:00 - crawl out of bed
10:00-10:20 - shower because I didn't shower the previous night
10:20-10:45 - eat a quarter of an apple, make tea to take to class
10:45 - leave house
11:30-12:45 - class
12:45-1:30 - stagger to Starbucks to acquire something resembling food (slice of pumpkin bread)
1:30-2:00 - meeting with professor
2:00-4:20 - Greek reading group-slash-directed reading (I'm doing it for credit, others are not)
4:20-5:00 - print out a dozen student papers at the library
5:00-6:30 - stagger home, stopping at the grocery store on the way
7:00 - food? maybe? I can't remember
I've only got class every other week on Thursdays and fortunately this week wasn't one of them, because I was wiped out on Thursday. I got the papers graded and that was it. No Greek, no reading. I got a package to the post office, did laundry (which I still haven't folded), and cooked, which are all very low brainpower things because I'm not sure I had a single brain cell working.
Today was -- slightly better. I had to go up to campus for the medieval studies roundtable -- the thing about being a night owl and very decidedly not a morning session is that anything before noon is always going to be only an hour after I wake up (well, an hour and a half because I do try to budget for travel time to campus), no matter if it's noon or 8 am. Which I think of as normal because that's how I function, but I admit it to people and they look at me like (a) I'm incredibly lazy and (b) I've lost my mind. So that happened today. I got my readings for next week started (I've got about 700 pages assigned, realistically I'm only going to read about 200-300 of them so I'd better figure out which 300 it's going to be), worked on my syllabus for the class I might be teaching next semester, and still haven't messaged back the guy I'm trying to commission Sabine armor from.
As I recall I spent all of Sunday working, too -- about 4 pm to 10 pm. Under normal circumstances I never try to do more than 45 minutes at a time, since then my brain gives out on me and I'm useless for a few hours. I feel like I've spent the past two days recovering from the first three days of the week and then I have to do it all again this week, minus the discussion session and presentation but plus the Thursday class (Intro to Teaching, so I have to have my syllabus done so that my cohort can workshop it).
I know it's a time management issue, but I need so much recovery time from something like this that it means it's an unending cycle. And Greek just eats so much of my brain; if it wasn't for having to do Greek it wouldn't be as bad. (And what really doesn't help is that I don't care about any of this term's classes, so it's just suffering through coursework. Oh, have I mentioned my department's PhD requirements are changing and my cohort's caught in the middle so I'm not sure what the actual requirements are? Fun.)
I really wanted to be able to knock my "stop working now" time back from 10 pm to 8 pm, but it hasn't been possible, not with two 4-7 classes (my pedagogy class is also a 4-7) or the night owl issue. I really, truly need a decompression day where I don't have to do ANYTHING school related, but I don't think having one is actually smart. Except I can't function without one. My stress/overwork symptoms manifest as cold symptoms, so I'm also either coming down with a cold or just really stressed. And I've got a caucus get-together Sunday, which means that I'm losing most of my typical work time on Sunday. *screaming* (I'm also honestly so over-stimulated I don't know if I can bear the socialization, either, but I can't bow out unless I actually have made myself sick.)
I've been too tired to write or watch Star Wars, both of which are really upsetting to me. But I still can't go to bed at a normal fucking hour? It's 3 am.
Monday:
9:00 - get up (note I usually run an hour later), did I feed myself? I think I ate one banana
10:00 - leave house
10:30-11:30 - meeting with professor
11:30-12:45 - leading discussion session for class I'm TAing
1:00-4:20 - class (which is only supposed to go 4), includes a presentation and the horrifying realization that I hadn't done 90% of the reading because it was on a page turn in the syllabus
4:20-6:00 - grocery shopping with S
6:00-8:00 - walk to the Square, dinner (BECAUSE I HADN'T EATEN ALL DAY) while reading about capitalism and writing a 500-word reaction, walk home
8:00-10:00 - Greek
10:00-3:00 - a blissful nothing, except that "nothing" somehow did not include "going to bed at a reasonable hour"
you may note that there is only one meal on that day.
Tuesday:
12 noon - crawl out of bed
12:00-2:00 - slowly attempt to crawl towards coherency via application of caffeine and food
2:00-3:15 - frantic reading for next class
3:15-3:45 - running around house getting ready to leave
3:45 - leave house
4:15-7:15 - class (exhausting, includes The Asshole)
8:00 - stagger home, feed self
9:00-10:30 - Greek
10:30-2:00 am - I have literally no idea what I did except I wasn't sleeping, wasn't writing, and wasn't watching Star Wars
Wednesday:
9:30 - alarm goes off
10:00 - crawl out of bed
10:00-10:20 - shower because I didn't shower the previous night
10:20-10:45 - eat a quarter of an apple, make tea to take to class
10:45 - leave house
11:30-12:45 - class
12:45-1:30 - stagger to Starbucks to acquire something resembling food (slice of pumpkin bread)
1:30-2:00 - meeting with professor
2:00-4:20 - Greek reading group-slash-directed reading (I'm doing it for credit, others are not)
4:20-5:00 - print out a dozen student papers at the library
5:00-6:30 - stagger home, stopping at the grocery store on the way
7:00 - food? maybe? I can't remember
I've only got class every other week on Thursdays and fortunately this week wasn't one of them, because I was wiped out on Thursday. I got the papers graded and that was it. No Greek, no reading. I got a package to the post office, did laundry (which I still haven't folded), and cooked, which are all very low brainpower things because I'm not sure I had a single brain cell working.
Today was -- slightly better. I had to go up to campus for the medieval studies roundtable -- the thing about being a night owl and very decidedly not a morning session is that anything before noon is always going to be only an hour after I wake up (well, an hour and a half because I do try to budget for travel time to campus), no matter if it's noon or 8 am. Which I think of as normal because that's how I function, but I admit it to people and they look at me like (a) I'm incredibly lazy and (b) I've lost my mind. So that happened today. I got my readings for next week started (I've got about 700 pages assigned, realistically I'm only going to read about 200-300 of them so I'd better figure out which 300 it's going to be), worked on my syllabus for the class I might be teaching next semester, and still haven't messaged back the guy I'm trying to commission Sabine armor from.
As I recall I spent all of Sunday working, too -- about 4 pm to 10 pm. Under normal circumstances I never try to do more than 45 minutes at a time, since then my brain gives out on me and I'm useless for a few hours. I feel like I've spent the past two days recovering from the first three days of the week and then I have to do it all again this week, minus the discussion session and presentation but plus the Thursday class (Intro to Teaching, so I have to have my syllabus done so that my cohort can workshop it).
I know it's a time management issue, but I need so much recovery time from something like this that it means it's an unending cycle. And Greek just eats so much of my brain; if it wasn't for having to do Greek it wouldn't be as bad. (And what really doesn't help is that I don't care about any of this term's classes, so it's just suffering through coursework. Oh, have I mentioned my department's PhD requirements are changing and my cohort's caught in the middle so I'm not sure what the actual requirements are? Fun.)
I really wanted to be able to knock my "stop working now" time back from 10 pm to 8 pm, but it hasn't been possible, not with two 4-7 classes (my pedagogy class is also a 4-7) or the night owl issue. I really, truly need a decompression day where I don't have to do ANYTHING school related, but I don't think having one is actually smart. Except I can't function without one. My stress/overwork symptoms manifest as cold symptoms, so I'm also either coming down with a cold or just really stressed. And I've got a caucus get-together Sunday, which means that I'm losing most of my typical work time on Sunday. *screaming* (I'm also honestly so over-stimulated I don't know if I can bear the socialization, either, but I can't bow out unless I actually have made myself sick.)
I've been too tired to write or watch Star Wars, both of which are really upsetting to me. But I still can't go to bed at a normal fucking hour? It's 3 am.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-09-22 08:51 pm (UTC)But not fighting it has more or less helped reduce my anxiety about my sleep schedule, which in turn helps me be not as exhausted. and when i neex to get up early (doctors appts etc all have to ve before work, arg, so thats like 7-8am wake up days) i can suffer the lack of sleep without it effecting my life as much.
IDK just trying to tell you what works for me so you can take it or leave it. The only thing i will say directly to you is that I've been following you since your Narnia days (dust! :) ) and we're not in undergrad anymore. our bodies can't handle the 'I haven't had food today' thing anymore. if everything in your life is too much, please try just working on making sure you get enough food. it doesn't have to be healthy, just food. Everything else will benefit from having more energy.
*hugs* <3
(no subject)
Date: 2018-09-24 02:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2018-09-23 07:02 am (UTC)At this point any class that isn’t a night class is one I get up about an hour before — I have a class at two and I still only get up at twelve thirty because I need so much sleep. I really don’t know how people manage so many more hours in their day with mornings. What do they do? Makes me feel a bit better that I’m not the only one getting strange looks after calling a noon class early. (Strange looks were mostly from the elderly TA: the students looked sympathetic).
(no subject)
Date: 2018-09-24 02:37 am (UTC)I have the same problem even with early afternoon classes -- my 4 o'clock one actually tends to be pretty rough, because I'm getting up at noon-1 and then taking several hours to actually get to full coherency. (I had a 6 pm class last year, not by choice, and it really messed up my brain.)