*snickers*

[bedlamsbard]

Dude, you know what I suddenly want to write? Fic where Caspian gets temporarily transported to the Golden Age, if only for the Peter and Edmund banter.

Edmund: So, who is he?
Peter: He says he's the king of Narnia.
Edmund: Does this mean we've been having some sort of extended identity crisis? I know! You're really a fisherman, and you're so repressed about it that you can't go on the open sea without throwing up.
Caspian: ...
Edmund: Or a pigkeeper. You'd make a brilliant pigkeeper...
Peter: Well, he's clearly not the king of Narnia.
Edmund: No, he doesn't look very Narnian. Westerlands, probably.
Peter: Caspian isn't a Natarene name.
Edmund: Does sound a bit Telmarine, though.
Caspian: The Telmarines have been at peace with Narnia for two years now!
Peter: Did they get that message?
Edmund: No, they didn't. They were still raiding over our border last I heard. I think Lu's taking care of that.
Caspian: ...
Edmund: [unpronounceable gargle of foreign words]
Caspian: ...
Peter: Well, he doesn't seem like he speaks Telmarine.
Caspian: ...of your courtesy, my lords, perhaps this conversation would go easier if I knew who you were.
Edmund: Definitely not Telmarine. I think they use your profile for target practice in Telmar.
Peter: I am Peter the High King of Narnia, and this is my brother, King Edmund of Narnia.
Caspian: [brain explodes]
Edmund: [kindly] This is why you can't be the king of Narnia.

Comments

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

The ex-lover is the one who got stuck with bloody diarrhea FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE! *laughs*


Susan was in a mood, what can we say?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

And then she charged the families to dispose of the bodies and transport back to their hometowns. Narnia has to make its money somehow!

It happened in a matter of minutes. Runemaker, Silena, and Deftfoot choked and died clawing at their throats, Anion fell face forward into his soup, Miscurl slid sideways off his chair, and Rehen simply collapsed. Feoras froze, but at the head of the table, Queen Susan, King Edmund, and Queen Lucy calmly continued eating and talking as if nothing had happened.

Samehan rose and threw his bowl aside. It smashed against the wall. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "We have come here in peace --"

"Peace?" Queen Susan said at last. "You came here with demands, defying the word of the High King. Your peace would make a desert of Narnia, a mercenary of my brother, and whores of myself and my sister." She rose slowly from her seat, the chair at her right hand empty.

"You would not dare offer such suggestions if my brother was at Cair Paravel because you fear my brother. You fear what he would do to you, and with good reason, traitor. And you think that because I am a woman, my wrath will be less than his. This is my answer, and for your own lives -- call it a woman's mercy. And carry this message with you when you depart, and pass it to any other who would dare rise against Cair Paravel: There is but one sovereign in Narnia, and that is the High King Peter. And until such time as he returns, I rule in Cair Paravel."

Her usually clear voice was surprisingly husky as she roared this last, and before any other could speak, King Edmund drew his sword -- no, not his sword: the blade in his hand was Rhindon, the sword of Narnia -- with a rasp of metal and put it on the table in front of the High King's empty chair. A message. Familiar, well-known. The High King would have greeted them with that same blade bared across his lap. Feoras had expected the queen would do likewise, and when she hadn't, he'd thought that they would bend after all.

"Leave Cair Paravel while I still feel so merciful," Queen Susan said, quiet again, although Feoras could still hear her clearly. "And leave your dead. They will be dealt with according to the law."

*vaguely inspired*