brain, honey, the plot generator? turn it OFF

[bedlamsbard]

Oh, shit, plot. For the thing I am not writing. Actually, said plot manages to combine both the things I'm not writing, with that character who is a hallucination.

It manages to be epic romance, epic tragedy, and two (or three?) different AUs AT ONCE.

Of course, I am not writing it. Because it does not exist. Because that character is a hallucination.

Comments

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA!

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

I have NO WORDS.

Well. Peta manages to get laid a lot. There are some words. Aside from that, though, no words.

Peter and Caspian manage to get laid some too.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Now all you have to do is let the *rest* of the family have some fun, too...but you're getting there. *pets you*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Did I mention the angst and the epic tragedy? Yeah, not so much.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

"Fun", as a euphemism for sex and/or romance, which has never been prevented by angst or tragedy. And no, it doesn't need to be much or graphic, but...in the interests of well-rounded characters, you can't just *say* that, for instance, "Lucy loves everybody equally", referring to her bisexuality, and then never show her with anyone. A quick fade-into-the-background shot of leaving a party with someone isn't quite it.

*eyes world-building list*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

They're spread thin, as usual -- Edmund in Archenland arguing with Lune (and may they actually get somewhere this time, because Peter is sick and tired of calling up his levies and going south, and if the negotiations fall through again it will be sixth time), Susan on Terebinthia playing benevolent dictator or conquering warlord (he's not entirely sure which of them it is this time), and Lucy left in Cair Paravel to mind Narnia, though he'd very nearly given in to her offer to put down the minor rebellion (relatively speaking; it's a renegade pack of werewolves left over from the White Witch's reign) in the north. As it is, Peter wants nothing more than to fall into his bed in Cair Paravel and sleep for a week.

What he actually finds, when he's made sure his troops are quartered, fed, and watered (not precisely in that order) and taken the back passages through Cair Paravel to the kitchens in hopes of finding something he can eat without standing on ceremony, is Lucy spread out on the big scarred wooden table that's used for something Peter doesn't understand, an unfamiliar woman kneeling between her legs. Peter's so drop dead exhausted that he can't process the sight for a good minute; he just stands there staring, at which point Lucy's pushing the woman away and pulling her skirts down and trying to explain.

Peter finally puts a hand over his eyes and turns his back to give them both some semblance of modesty. "I've just spent three weeks in the High Reaches fighting off werewolves and hags and imps and lost a dozen good soldiers in the process," he announces. "I've just spent another week on the lionsroad in order to get back to Cair Paravel. I'm so tired that I may be seeing double, and all I want is to eat something and then go to sleep until the next crisis. It's not that I care, it's just that I'm not even sure if I managed to put all those words together in a coherent sentence."

"Sorry, Pete," Lucy says, actually sounding it, for a wonder. "You can turn around now."

He does, and Lucy comes over to hug him and kiss him on the cheek. Over her shoulder, Peter can see the woman is a stranger, dressed well-worn leather breeches and a white shirt whose sleeves are drawn tight at the wrists under a leather vest.

"Who's your friend?" he asks as Lucy lets him go and goes off to pull cold chicken out of the icebox. It's late enough that there's no staff on duty.

"Captain Edeny Yricsdottir, of the longship Quickkill, your majesty," the woman says, sketching a bow. "Late of the Kingdom of Anskettell."

"Late of?" Peter repeats, arching his eyebrows.

"I've come to swear my sail to Narnia," Yricsdottir says.

"And Narnia is duly grateful," Peter says automatically, "though since you've just heard what I told my sister, maybe we can save the formalities for tomorrow."

Yricsdottir's lips twitch, but all she says is, "Of course, your majesty."

Lucy hands him a plate of chicken and a mug of spiced wine, which Peter accepts gratefully. "And you thought you were the only one who could sleep with former pirates," she whispers, and Peter grins sheepishly.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Lucy, that wasn't "sleeping". Poor Peter! *laughs*

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Poor Peter's so tired he's worried he may have just hallucinated everything.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

ZOGM NORSE-OID PIRATING WOMEN AND NARNIA AND FEMLASH AND AAAAAAAH.

I did mention how awesome you are, right?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Silly things like canon and Lewis's sexism aside, I'm going for completely awesome women in the Narnia 'verse because I can.

And hey, Lucy needs a little loving. Peter has Caspian and his pet pirate, Susan had Eomer, Edmund...should probably get someone at some point...

[franceica.livejournal.com]

*laughing hard*

You see, everybody's kind of urging you on. And I say, just, surrender, please?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Let me rephrase to novel-length plot and re-emphasize "epic romance" and "epic tragedy." Also, "lots of sex", but that's hardly the relevent point.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!

[franceica.livejournal.com]

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME, TOO!

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

TRAGEDY. Woe, alas, weeping, angst!

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

LOTS OF SEX.

I can deal with tragedy, it tends to make the sex better :P

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Well, that too. (Peta and Caspian and Peter! Also, weddings! Yes, plural. And lots and lots of tragedy. Also, two, or maybe three, separate AUs.)

[franceica.livejournal.com]

As long as you keep Peter and Peta awesome, I have absolutely no objection to anything else. *grins*

[franceica.livejournal.com]

And by the way, if there are Peter and Peta, does that mean there are two Edmunds and two Susans and two Lucies as well? Shudders. That could be a mess.

Everybody can distinguish Peter and Peta, but it would be a headache trying to distinguish Edmund and Edmund, Susan and Susan, Lucy and Lucy.

Peter(angrily): Edmund! Clean up the mess!
Edmund(blinking): Oh, but it wasn't me just now.
Peter(sheepish): Oh...

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

Angst and tragedy! Lots of tragedy! (In case you, uh, didn't notice.)

[lassiterfics.livejournal.com]

Will anyone be wearing ten-gallon hats or dying of dysentery.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

No, but Peter will be wearing an RAF uniform and Peta will be carrying a lot of weaponry!

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

But they still *could* have dysentery. Fun for everyone!

[swift-tales.livejournal.com]

But it's such an awesome hallucination and such an awesome opportunity for all sorts of awesome experimentations. Obviously, it would be much love if you wrote and made it all real. Because, eum... Did I mention the awesome?

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

But...hallucination.