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bedlamsbardOh my God, I totally want to write the Petaverse scene where the Pevensies (and maybe Eustace and Jill, I don't know) go back to Peta's Narnia to rescue Rilian and find out Caspian's still alive, he's just being held captive. (The Prince in the Tower! I make my own fun.) So obviously Peta and Peter go in to rescue him, and then there is some making out on Caspian and Peta's behalf while Peter stares at them and realizes, "Shit, I actually fell in love with this woman," and then there is fighting, and Caspian and Peta have one of those hilarious sci-fi/fantasy/adventure married fights that's basically Caspian saying, "I told you to leave Narnia! I didn't say come back!" and Peta yelling, "You idiot, do you think I would just leave you here? I can't believe you threw me out of Narnia! Of course I came back!" all while fighting and trying to pick the locks on Caspian's chains.
Caspian: "I said, 'Don't forget me!' I didn't say, 'Bring an army!'"
Peta: "You bastard, 'Don't forget me!' means, 'Come back and rescue me!'"
Caspian: "It obviously meant, 'I love you! Save yourself!'"
Peta: "And what, leave you here to die?"
Caspian: "If it meant you were safe!"
Peta: "YOU IDIOT! 'Don't forget me' is a stupid thing to say, and it obviously means, 'Go find help and bring it back!' Doesn't it, Peter?"
Peter: "Practically an engraved invitation." *kills something*
Peta: "OBVIOUSLY. You're such an enormous bastard, Caspian."
Caspian: "I just wanted you to be safe!"
Peta: "And I would rather die fighting, you idiot!"
Caspian: "And I would rather you live!"
Peta: "Do you want me to leave?"
Caspian: "NO!"
Peta: "Good, because wild horses couldn't get me out of Narnia again." *they kiss*
Peter: *fighting* "A LITTLE HELP HERE WOULD BE APPRECIATED."
And then Peter is melancholy, because he and the rest of the Pevensies have to leave Narnia again, and also, he's still in love with Peta, which he totally doesn't get, but whatever, and then Peta grabs the front of his shirt and kisses him, then kisses Caspian, and then there is sex. Obviously.
And then Peter and the Pevensies get stuck, I don't know, hopping variations of Narnia for the rest of their lives. Or something.
It would be a happy ending, at least. Contrary to popular opinion, I don't have a philosophical opposition to happy endings.
(Also, Peta and Caspian arguing about who left the lights on in Cair Paravel in the middle of a fight while Peter kills things in the background and goes, "Thank you God I never got married." HOW IS THAT NOT HILARIOUS?)
Caspian: "I said, 'Don't forget me!' I didn't say, 'Bring an army!'"
Peta: "You bastard, 'Don't forget me!' means, 'Come back and rescue me!'"
Caspian: "It obviously meant, 'I love you! Save yourself!'"
Peta: "And what, leave you here to die?"
Caspian: "If it meant you were safe!"
Peta: "YOU IDIOT! 'Don't forget me' is a stupid thing to say, and it obviously means, 'Go find help and bring it back!' Doesn't it, Peter?"
Peter: "Practically an engraved invitation." *kills something*
Peta: "OBVIOUSLY. You're such an enormous bastard, Caspian."
Caspian: "I just wanted you to be safe!"
Peta: "And I would rather die fighting, you idiot!"
Caspian: "And I would rather you live!"
Peta: "Do you want me to leave?"
Caspian: "NO!"
Peta: "Good, because wild horses couldn't get me out of Narnia again." *they kiss*
Peter: *fighting* "A LITTLE HELP HERE WOULD BE APPRECIATED."
And then Peter is melancholy, because he and the rest of the Pevensies have to leave Narnia again, and also, he's still in love with Peta, which he totally doesn't get, but whatever, and then Peta grabs the front of his shirt and kisses him, then kisses Caspian, and then there is sex. Obviously.
And then Peter and the Pevensies get stuck, I don't know, hopping variations of Narnia for the rest of their lives. Or something.
It would be a happy ending, at least. Contrary to popular opinion, I don't have a philosophical opposition to happy endings.
(Also, Peta and Caspian arguing about who left the lights on in Cair Paravel in the middle of a fight while Peter kills things in the background and goes, "Thank you God I never got married." HOW IS THAT NOT HILARIOUS?)
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Date: 2008-08-14 08:56 am (UTC)