bedlamsbard: natasha romanoff from the black widow prelude comic (king edmund (astral_angel))
[personal profile] bedlamsbard
...okay, Be Like Water is supposed to be going to a Peta/Caspian place, not a Peta/Edmund place. Or Peta/Caspian/Edmund. WHAT IS WITH THE CASUAL KISSING, PETA? I mean, you could at least extend it to Susan, here. (You guys have no idea how much subtext I lost because Susan treats Peta differently than Peter. I only realized it when I bumped up against a scene where I'd have Susan kiss Peter on the cheek but not Peta, and my fingers kind of stumbled over the keyboard. [livejournal.com profile] lassiterfics, I think you may have reset my default setting to "Subtext! Subtext everywhere! Pevencest! Subtext!")

I fear that Susan is not going to be down for the casual kissing in public, though, alas. Although it's not really public; the only other person in the hallway is Caspian, and he and Peta were just making out. Obviously her answer to Edmund walking in is to plant one on him.

Caspian? Very confused, as per usual. These are mixed signals he doesn't understand!



He falls asleep, or thinks he does, because the next thing he knows is Trumpkin shaking him awake. Caspian’s hand closes on his sword-hilt, the blade unsheathed across his lap, before he recognizes the dwarf, and he croaks, “Peta –”

From beside Trumpkin Queen Susan is all pale skin, dark hair, and big eyes; for some reason, in the pale light of early dawn, she looks surprisingly like her sister. “She’s alive,” she says, cradling Peta against her shoulder. “She’s lost a lot of blood. We have to get her back to Lucy now.”

Caspian can’t see what Lucy will be able to do for Peta, but getting her back to the How is a better option that leaving her here to die. He gets up slowly, every muscle in his body aching, and sheathes his sword before reaching for Peta.

Queen Susan gives him an alarmed look, but relinquishes her hold on her sister and lets Caspian lift her up in his arms, Peta’s head lolling slackly against his shoulder. It’s only Susan, Trumpkin, and two horses in the wood; Susan says, absently, “Thank Aslan, I was afraid –” and stops abruptly as she leans down to pick up Peta’s fallen sword, curling her long fingers around the hilt awkwardly.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-07 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lassiterfics.livejournal.com
i agree with more 'merlin' POVs earlier on. more arthur, i think. maybe one after the first '+', and arthur can be like, "yeah have to go meet some kings from buttfuck nowhere whoopee NOT". or something, i dunno. flirting with morgana, or giving merlin a hard time. there's not so much arthur for a peter/arthur so far. i feel like i want peter and arthur sizing up each other more. and what's edmund going to do when he skulks around?

and i don't know what about edmund's morgana-observation-part we need early on that we can't move it to the banquet scene. also i feel that by that part, we've had enough contemplation and introduction and can just go straight in for more action. it would also keep the beginning from being so edmund-heavy. i expect this fic to not go over 20 pages, and 20 pages may even be a wee bit much.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-07 10:03 pm (UTC)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)
From: [identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com
i kind of want gaius walking in on edmund waiting for him in his lab, but i don't know where that would be going.

i've got arthur pov now, but i'm not really sure where it's going. i may just stop in the middle of the scene and send it over. (hi. i am the worst co-writer ever. i stop and i stare and i twitch and i push it away from me in a flurry of pages! virtual pages, that is.)

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