hi, my issues, let me show them to you.

[bedlamsbard]

No wonder I had trouble controlling my dolly during move-out a couple weeks ago -- my boxes alone weighed thirty pounds more than I did + the dolly itself + New Orleans sidewalks.

I am below 110 pounds as of today, hovering between 105 and 110. I think it's actually a reasonably healthy weight based on my body type and family history; my mother and my female cousins on the Japanese side were all about the same weight and size at my age, although I'm a bit taller than they are (that definitely comes from the Scandinavian side, although I'm still not that tall -- about 5'3"). I have mixed feelings about being this size (given the amount of invective that's sometimes leveled at small women -- "anorexic-looking", "bulimic-looking", "eat a sandwich", "Asian women all look underage and anorexic", "Asian women aren't real women", etc.), but there's really not anything I can do about it: genes are genes. And, you know, I eat! I don't watch my weight, I don't diet (I drink full-fat milk and eat full-fat yoghurt, I eat sweets (although mostly just dark chocolate and homemade baked goods at this point), I eat meat, I eat carbs -- mmm, I love carbs), I don't obsessively work out (the closest I get is that I do crunches and stretches, and just recently I'm getting back into doing push-ups, at night, and also I walk a lot, though more when I'm at school than when I'm at home), so it really does mostly come down to genes. Only I see a lot of time, "Real women don't wear size 1s," or "No real woman actually weighs under 130 lbs," or that sort of thing, and then I get defensive and start worrying if I'm unhealthy, and no, it really is just genes.

But, you know. There's a reason I tend to characterize myself as "scrawny" rather than "skinny." One of them is more socially acceptable to say.

Comments

[ineptshieldmaid]

*sends hugs*

The 'real women' thing is fundamentally flawed. And if one tries to point that out one gets shouted down by moderately plump people... :s

*sends more hugs*

[bedlamsbard]

Indeed. *sighs*

[sporky_rat]

Lemme assure you: Real Women Wear Size 1s. Hell, we even wear size 0!

Us short folk need to stick up for ourselves.

[bedlamsbard]

Heh, yeah, I guess the only thing saying size 1 rather than size 0 proves is that I still shop in Juniors rather than Women's. :)

*raises short people banner*

[pinesandmaples]

I thought you fit your frame nicely when I met you.

[bedlamsbard]

Thanks, hon. I mean, I'm reasonably certain that if I actually looked unhealthy, I'd be getting comments on it. From my mother, if no one else. :)

[alyndra]

There's so much negativity surrounding the whole concept of what women's bodies should be, it's out of control. It doesn't matter what your body type is, you will still hear things that make you feel insecure about it, because there's so much of that shit flying in all directions. Me, I'm pretty average, I figure, a little on the tall side, I wear size mediums almost always. And it's still so hard to not have mixed feelings, as you put it. It's just that if even a fraction of the people feeling insecure react by insulting body types that aren't theirs, then that gets heard and listened to all out of proportion, and it becomes a horrible self-perpetuating cycle of low self-esteem.

It sounds like you have it pretty well figured out that this stuff isn't right, you don't need to listen to it or measure yourself by it. You don't need to measure yourself by anyone but yourself, and that's all there is to it. If your body feels right, it probably is.

[bedlamsbard]

Gods, yes. Dear society, why?