time for your daily dose of narnia genderfuck

*cocks head to side* For some reason I keep thinking of girl!Caspian -- and one of the reasons I keep tripping up on actually writing this is that I can't figure out what to do with her name -- and...I don't actually have anywhere to go with girl!Caspian.

Partially because, at least the way that I came up with it (in Be Like Water), the Telmarine system doesn't allow for women to inherit, which makes her Princess Caspian(ia?) and makes Miraz King Miraz. Which...okay, where the conflict? I can see Caspian(a?) being brought up under the assumption that she'd marry Miraz's son as soon as Miraz!baby was of age, or, for more legitimacy, possibly Miraz is planning to put Prunaprismia aside and marry Caspian(ismia?). Or, I don't know, depending on how crazy Miraz is, have two wives.

Or we can go back to the original canon and have him be planning to kill Caspian(...I got nothin' else) because her husband and kids, if she ever married, would have a claim to the throne, so he doesn't want any other claimants besides his own kid.

However. Cornelius is probably still Caspian's tutor, because a princess needs some kind of education, and Cornelius is a manipulative bastard. (Yes, I know, I'm just about the only person in Narnia fandom with this opinion.) Cornelius is going to keep dropping stories in her ear about Narnia's history of ruling queens (Susan and Lucy, probably), and then he's probably going to come up with Miraz killing Caspian to destroy the rest of the royal line -- so only his kid can succeed him. Which is how Caspian ends up in the woods.

But she's not a tomboy. She can't be. Whether or not canon!Caspian's education was stunted because Miraz didn't want him to take the throne is irrelevent; Caspian is a girl. A woman's education is completely different, so she's going to be the perfect little princess. She probably knows how to ride and how to shoot a crossbow (Prunaprismia does), but I doubt she knows sword-play at all. (And let's put it this way -- I can't see girl!Caspian as having a temperament for being a tomboy at all.)

So yes. She'd probably still end up in the woods, blowing Susan's horn, and then taken in by Nikabrik and Trufflehunter, but they're really not going to have any idea what to do with her. We are eventually going to get the hook-up with the Pevensies, and then I have no idea what's going on. Possibly she and Susan and Lucy all sit around braiding each other's hair. (No, I'm kidding. CLEARLY NOT, have you met my Susan and Lucy?) There may actually be a lot of Susan and Caspian clashing here, but I'm not sure. And I doubt she's even taking much notice of Lucy or Edmund.

Then there's Peter. The handsome, dynamic High King of Narnia, without as much strain as there would be in canon, what with the whole Peter and Caspian knocking heads. Obviously he's impatient with her, but he's dealt with her type before, or thinks he has -- he really doesn't think she has all that much between her ears and tends to completely disregard her.

And so there's not really anywhere I want to go with it. (Yes, I know, it could be a heartwarming story about Caspian standing up for herself and women's rights in Narnia and how female characters can be badass, yo, but...I don't want to write that story. I'm not interested in that story. Yes, whatever, take away my grrlpower card, I don't care. I'm not.)

The one -- the only -- scene that I have any conception of is the one where Peter goes back to his room and Caspian's waiting there for him. "Do you want the crown of Telmar?" she asks. "I can give it to you." Which is code for, "TAKE ME NOW," and also, "I am well aware of the fact that my only value is as a bargaining chip in a marriage agreement, but damn if I don't know how to use that. You want to unite Narnia? Let's do it right now. Make this a legitimate civil war instead of whatever the hell this is."

Possibly girl!Caspian is smarter than boy!Caspian (because heaven knows no one in Water ever came up with this plan). She may also be more well-known among the Telmarines.

But I don't know where it goes from there. And it's not the type of story I want to write. (Some of this may be because I feel like having a Princess Caspian instead of a Prince Caspian is more cliched? I don't know. Look, my brain.) But, anyway, yes. That is what I would do with girl!Caspian, for those wondering.

this is getting ridiculous

Okay, whoever made girl!Caspian -- I'm going very tentatively with Caspania for a name here, which is a little ridiculous but doesn't bother me as much as some of the other options -- crawl into my brain, you are a dead woman.

We are not getting a return of the Petaverse incident here (seventy thousand words), I just warn you. Just because I have a (vague) plot and some more character info does not mean I'm going to become known as the girl who's always writing genderfuck PC revisionism.

Sort of interestingly, Peter and Caspania aren't on the shaggin' wagon the way Peta and Caspian are. Caspania's a virgin until the wedding night. "My maidenhead's the only thing I have left!" she screams at Peter. "Without that I'm worthless, I'm just --" "No, you're not," Peter says, and kisses her. And then there's some more arguing and some political talk, and then Peter kisses her forehead and puts a ring with the lion rampant on it into her hand before leaving.

AND THEN. There is a lot of Telmarine political stuff! Because, like, the Seven Noble Lords of Narnia, the ones they go looking for in VotDT? Still in Narnia. Because Miraz doesn't have a reason to send them away; he's the legitimate heir. But they rally around Caspania and her new betrothed, and the Narnians are there for their High King, and Miraz is sort of freaking out. (Probably with good reason.)

Also, the wedding is at Lord Bern's manor.

And possibly Susan and Edmund are fucking. *facepalm*

ETA: ...great, now I want Susan/Caspania. (And you have to admit that Peta/Caspania would be SMOKING HOT. Though not as smoking hot as PETA/SUSAN. No, I don't know what's up with the femmeslash today.)

ETA2: Now Peter, Susan, and Caspania are all in a relationship? Together? Sort of? OH MY GOD WHAT. This is like a bad romance novel!

ETA3: ...possibly solely for the line, during some assassination attempt by Miraz, "Cuckolding your queen in her own bedchamber, King Peter?" "That's my wife," Peter says. "That's my queen." And Susan shoots him. Or something. OH MY GOD WHAT.

(no subject)

Hi, watch me (accidentally) get a religious reference and an Eliot reference in the same (REALLY CREEPY, thanks Susan) line.

And to be fair, I think I probably screwed the religious reference, but it's me, so what do you really expect?

WHY SO CREEPY, SUSAN?